We stand there, silence thickening, until Kyle’s words finally register completely, the force like a tidal wave. A sob pushes from my shocked body so violently that I almost fall from Kole’s arms. My eyes finally move to where Kane is standing, his face the mask of pure agony as his rapid breathing heaves his chest.
He moves to walk toward me, but I hold my hand up to halt him. “No.”
“Willow, please.” He attempts to reach me again, but I push against Kole and force him to move with me as I step away.
“Do not come any closer.”
Kane’s whole body slumps as his desperation becomes paramount to the madness that had just been brewing.
“Do you deny his words?” I ask, pointing at where Kyle is still out cold.
“It’s not that simple, baby,” he responds, despondently.
“Then explain it to me,” I demand, proud that my voice sounds a lot stronger than I feel right now. “Explain your relationship with Mia Post and your role in her child’s life. Do it now, Kane. No more hiding.”
“I can’t,” he weakly answers.
I nod and turn to Kole. “Can you please take me to a hotel,” I ask, resolved in the knowledge that I can’t stay if Kane isn’t willing to tell me what I need to know. Not now. Not after his brother's admission. This isn’t like him asking me to blindly trust in him with media lies. This came straight from his own family.
Kole looks past me and toward Kane. He doesn’t speak, but when he looks back at me, he gives me a nod. Instantly, I feel relief that I’ll be able to leave when I know I have nowhere to go.
“Willow. Fuck, don’t leave.” Kane reaches out and grabs my hand, but his arm falls to his side when I rip myself from his hold.
“Then tell me what I need to know.”
His silence is all I need. I allow the tears that had been threatening to fall and look into the cerulean orbs that have never given me anything but love until today.
“Kole, can you grab my stuff?” I wait for him to walk back into the house. The connection I’m holding with Kane’s gaze never wavers. When Kole is out of earshot, I continue speaking. “I deserve more than that, Kane. I’m not running. This isn’t me running. This is me being strong enough to walk away even though I know it will hurt. This is me knowing that I’m worth everything and not just whatever you feel I’m allowed to know. And until you can give that to me, we have nothing left to say to each other.”
“Willow,” he begs, desperation making my name come out like a deep sob.
“No. You asked me to trust you, but you can’t put that same trust in me. I get that your word means everything to you, but guess what, Kane? If you loved me, truly loved me, you would have found a way to be completely open and honest with me before the painful truth was allowed to scar me.”
Kole walks back out of the house with two of my suitcases and my purse over his shoulder. He doesn’t look at Kane, nor does he look at Kyle. He heads right over to me, and after asking me if I was sure, he takes me to his car and helps me fold into the passenger seat. He stuffs the suitcases in the trunk and makes his way to his side. The whole time, my eyes never leave Kane. I can see the pain in his whole demeanor. The connection that had always felt so strong between us pulls tightly against my own chest as the gravity of the situation hits me. My tears pick up speed as I let out a heaving cry.
It isn’t until Kole has pulled his sleek sports car through Kane’s gate that I allow my sobs to join the tears as I leave the only man who will ever hold my heart behind.
SO THIS IS WHAT IT feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on. A pain greater than I have ever experienced tears through my body with enough force that my chest feels like my heart has been pulled straight from it. Looking down at Kyle, I make myself pull him from the ground and drag his heavy as shit body inside the house.
I shouldn’t care. I should be able to just leave him out in the elements and hope some wild animal tears him limb by limb. But despite his actions tonight, he’s still my brother.
And part of the reason that I’m now standing here with a black fucking hole where my heart once was beating.
I stomp through the house, leaving Kyle passed out on the floor just inside the front door. I might not have left him outside, but I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to go out of my way to make sure he’s comfortable.
I should call his fucking wife and make her come get him, but I know from Kole that Jessica is in Europe for some photo shoot.
“Fuck!” My hand flies out with my outburst, and I slam it into the wall just inside my living room. The sheetrock gives way and my fist leaves a hole in my dark gray wall.
She said she wasn’t running, but she left. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Not that I should expect any differently. She gave me the chance to explain and because of my pride, I didn’t. All because of a promise I made to Mia three months before I even started this with Willow. A promise made with good intentions because of how much was at stake not just for Mia, but for my family as well.
I kept my mouth shut and let the best thing I’ve ever held in my hands walk away.
Fuck.
My footsteps thunder through the house as I retrace my steps since arriving home, and search for my cell. I had dropped it shortly after walking through the door, forgetting about the device instantly. Until right now. I note the time, just past eleven, before I press what I need and bring the phone to my ear.
“I hope you know what time it is,” the tired voice says in greeting.
“I do. I also know that I just watched my fucking girlfriend leave with Kole while I stood there like a mute bastard and let my promise of silence, to you, rip our hearts to fucking shreds, Mia.”
“Shit,” she mumbles. I hear the sheets rustle. “I’ll be right there.”
Even though I’m so pissed at her right now, I can’t allow her to put herself in danger. “No. I don’t know what the media situation is like at my front gate and you don’t need the stress of dealing with Kyle, who I should add I knocked unconscious when he was feeling the need to let it all hang out earlier. I just … fuck, Mia. I have to tell her. I know I gave you my word because not only was it no one’s fucking business, but that’s my blood growing inside of you and I had no problem keeping silent to protect the both of you. But now, I can’t lose her forever because of this.”
Mia sighs, and I know she’s feeling bad about asking me for silence months ago. Making me promise while she sobbed in my arms, the positive pregnancy test clutched in my shocked hands. The same way I know it kills her that the media has been rabid for us to confirm the pregnancy to them, to solidify the rumors that they had spread about the life she is growing and my part in it.
“You know she deserves to know. I love you, Mees, but if I keep silent, not only will I lose her, but I’m going to lose myself as well. She’s it for me, and I should have had this conversation with you weeks ago when I realized that Willow would never be going anywhere. I tried, but you’ve been avoiding the subject just as hard as I’ve been trying to talk about it. Any time I tried to bring it up, you pushed and refused. I should have tried harder, I know that, and I now have to live with the consequences. Look, I know it’s because you’re scared of what will happen when I tell her, but you know me and I wouldn’t be asking you to put your faith in her if I didn’t believe with everything that I am that she’s strong enough to weather the storm.”
Her heavy breathing comes through the line, and I wait for her to accept what I’m asking. “I know you trust her. The little I’ve gotten to know her tells me she can be trusted too, but Kane …”
“Listen to me, Mia. I know I’m asking a lot, but this secret is killing me. Can’t you understand that?” I hear her muffled sobs, and I hate myself. “I’m asking you to allow me to break my word, Mia. Begging you. I’m not asking you to let me hold a fucking press conference and tell the world. I’m just asking you to let me have back the promise to stay silent long enough to tell the woman who I fucking hope to spend the rest of my goddamn life with the truth!”