For some reason, my medically-induced amnesia is slowly starting to wear off. I’m remembering parts of the war.
Making my way outside and around the side of my hut, I wander to the fence and look out at the dark forest. I wait, hoping that more memories might start to resurface, but after a moment I realize that they seem to come only during sleep. I have no idea what might have triggered this sudden change, but deep down I can’t shake a sense of fear. I’ve spent so many years hoping that I’d remember the war, convinced that there was this yawning chasm in my mind that I had to refill. Now, however, I’m starting to realize that the memories might do more harm than good, that some of the things I remember might be better left forgotten.
Just as I’m about to turn and head back to my hut, I spot a figure hurrying away from town, heading out into the forest.
Keeping low, I make my way through the undergrowth, while keeping an eye on the figure up ahead. There’s just enough moonlight for me to be able to make her out, but I can’t quite identify her, not from this far back. It’s definitely a woman, though, and for some reason she seems to be hurrying through the night.
As I continue to follow her, my first thought is that maybe it’s someone who simply wants to leave Steadfall, and who prefers to do so under cover of night rather than making a fuss during the day. After a moment, however, it occurs to me that something more sinister might be happening. What if Deckard didn’t really leave? What if he’s out here somewhere, and he has a little network of informants who are taking him food and water, and filling him in on what’s happening in the town? If that’s the case, he might be planning a triumphant return to overthrow me. Paranoid, perhaps, but still possible.
Stopping suddenly, I realize that I’ve lost track of the figure. I take a moment to ensure that she hasn’t somehow doubled back, and then I creep forward.
After a moment, I realize I can hear a voice in the distance.
I wait, hoping to make out what’s being said, but the voice is a little too low and indistinct. Carefully stepping forward, I make sure to stay as quiet as possible as I slip between the trees, edging closer and closer to the sound up ahead. Just as I think I might be able to hear a little better, however, the voice abruptly stops. I freeze for a moment, but now there’s only silence all around. Worried that the mysterious figure might come back this way, I duck down and stay completely still for a few minutes, but gradually I start to realize that I might have lost the trail entirely.
Finally I get to my feet. Looking around at the moonlit forest, I suddenly feel as if I’m very exposed out here. Turning, I start making my way back toward town, while regularly glancing over my shoulder to make sure that no-one can sneak up behind me.
A few minutes later, just as I’m getting close to the edge of town, I hear footsteps tramping through the undergrowth nearby. I turn just in time to see Leanne coming this way, and I realize with a hint of shock that she must have been the person I was following earlier.
“Oh, hey,” she says as soon as she spots me. She seems a little startled, and she checks over her shoulder as if to make sure that no-one else is around.
“Out for a walk?” I ask cautiously, trying not to seem too suspicious.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she replies, turning to me with a nervous smile. “I don’t know, it’s just something about this island. Half the time I’m terrified and I just want to hide, and then…” Her voice trails off.
“And then the rest of the time, you want to see what’s out there?”
She laughs. “Something like that.”
“You should be careful,” I tell her. “Occasionally you get a few stray people wandering around, and they can be dangerous.”
“So why were you out there?” she asks.
“I can take care of myself,” I reply, although I immediately realize how conceited that might sound. “I just wanted to clear my head,” I continue, while wondering how I can bring up the subject of the voice I heard. “Did you see anyone else on your travels?”
She shakes her head.
“No-one?” I ask.
“Just you,” she replies, smiling nervously. She glances back the way she came, and then she turns to me again. “Did you see anyone else?”
I briefly consider telling her about the voice, but finally I shake my head.
“Well that’s good, right?” she continues. “It’s pretty goddamn creepy out there, I probably won’t go wandering around alone at night anymore. There was a moment when I actually wasn’t sure I could find my way back.”
“You can always find your bearings using the north star,” I tell her.
“I wouldn’t know about that,” she replies. “Stuff like stars… I’m really not an outdoors kind of person.”
Once we’ve made our way back into town and exchanged a few more pleasantries, she heads over to the hut that she’s been sharing with Ben. I make my way to my own hut, but I pause for a moment before slipping through the darkness and heading over to listen in case Leanne is saying anything to Ben about her trip out into the forest.
“Just forget about it,” I hear his voice muttering with a sigh. “It’s not important.”
“I know, but she—”
Before she can finish, I hear a faint shuffling sound from inside the hut. I wait a moment longer, but suddenly I realize I can hear them kissing, and finally there are a couple of faint moans. Figuring that the last thing I want is to listen to them making love, I head back to my hut. Maybe if I sleep some more, I might have more dreams about my past.
Nearby, someone lets out a brief cough in one of the other huts.
Chapter Twenty-two
“Did you hear that?” Walter asks suddenly, turning and looking back the way we came.
I glance over my shoulder, but all I see is the vast moonlit forest.
“Sometimes I think there are…” He pauses for a moment. “Oh, I’m a crazy old man, I know that, but sometimes I think there are ghosts out here.”
I turn to him.
“I’ve seen things, too,” he adds, his eyes wide with fear. “Just once or twice, I’ve spotted figures moving between the trees at night. Maybe they were regular people, but there was something about the way they walked, and the way they…” His voice trails off. “One of them looked at me with the coldest eyes I’ve ever seen. I wanted to call out to her, but I didn’t dare. And then I blinked and she was gone.”
I wait for him to continue, but he seems lost in the memory.
“It’s not good to be out at night,” he continues finally, grabbing my arm and leading me through the forest. “Whatever’s out here, ghosts or people, I don’t want to run into any of them.”
Chapter Twenty-three
“It’s nothing,” Mary replies, pulling away and grabbing a fresh section of canopy, ready to get back to work. “I’m just—”
Before she can finish, she breaks out into another coughing fit, and this time she has to stop while she waits to get her breath back. After a moment, I spot flecks of blood on her hand and wrist.
“She’s been like this for an hour now,” Leanne says nervously. “Ever since sunrise. She’s got the sickness!”
“I’m fine!” Mary says firmly, turning to her. There’s fear in her eyes, though, and it’s clear that she’s lying. When she turns to me, I realize that she’s close to tears. “Please,” she continues, “I just need to rest. I’ve been working double-time since Emma had to stop, and maybe I pushed myself too far.” She pauses, before setting the piece of canopy down. “I’ll go and sleep.”