“There’s more to me than just the persona that the public sees. There’s darkness inside me that no one should have to experience, and that’s what I’m trying to protect you from. No one should have to live with my demons but me.”
The harsh reality hits me. There’s a lot about Xavier Cold that I don’t know. Some obvious issues he’s dealing with. He refuses to talk about his family, and he believes that he’s evil somehow. With all that being said, I still know there’s a lot of good in him—whether he sees it or not. I’m a perfect stranger, and he’s been there for me since the plane ride from Portland. He just needs to see that he’s a nice guy and that he’s not completely bad like he believes—that he deserves happiness too. Everyone does.
I reach over and touch his hand. There’s a slight flinch, and his harsh expression remains, but I don’t pull back. I want him to know we all have secrets we’d like to hide from the world.
“We all have things that haunt us—things we’d like to forget. The key is to not allow them to get in the way of our happiness.”
Xavier runs his hand along his scruffy jawline. “Not everyone’s meant to have happiness, Anna. Some of us are meant for the dark.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He levels his eyes on me. “That’s because you’ve got a good heart and like to believe that everyone is a good person underneath. I knew that from the moment you refused me on that plane. A girl like you…you aren’t meant for a guy like me.”
His tone is meant to scare me off, I can tell, but it’s doing the exact opposite. It’s pulling me toward him. Telling me to make him see that he’s wrong.
Nettie sets our food down on the table in front of us, redirecting my attention from Xavier and his self-loathing for the moment. As soon as the sweet smell of pancakes wafts around me, my mouth waters. Xavier wastes no time digging into his steaming food while I take my time applying butter to my pancakes.
“How long you got with us, Xavier?” Nettie asks as she leans her hip against the booth.
“The rest of the week, and then I have to fly to Atlanta for Tuesday Tension. If all goes well, I’ll be heading into a title match soon.”
“You sure are moving up. Did you hear that, Carl? Our boy is gon’ be champion.” she calls over her shoulder.
“I never had a doubt he would be. Not after the way he pummeled half the neighborhood around here.” Carl chuckles as he leans against the counter and stares up at the ceiling with a nostalgic twinkle in his eye. “Did you tell your little girlfriend here about the first time you met us?”
Xavier swallows his food. “We’re just friends. And no, I haven’t told her. She doesn’t need to know about that.”
“Ah, come on, X. It’s funny now. You’re not the same punk kid that came in here the first time. Go on. Tell her. She’ll get a kick out of it,” Carl says, antagonizing him.
That pesky curiosity of mine rears its beast of a head again, and I join in with Carl’s teasing, desperate for any glimpse of this man’s past. Desperate to know him better. “Please?”
He shakes his head. “I was stupid. It’s not worth repeating.”
“Not worth repeating? Man—”
Nettie cuts him off. “Hush, Carl. If Xavier doesn’t want to tell this girl about his past, let it go. I’m sure he’s got his reasons. Even though he should be proud of everything he’s overcome.”
“Well if he wants to keep who he is a secret from her, he shouldn’t have brought her ‘round here. The girl is bound to find out sooner or later.”
Xavier scrubs his hand over his face. “All right. Fine.” He turns his gaze back to me. “When I was seventeen, I robbed this place. I was hungry, needed money and it seemed like a good target since it was open late. I just didn’t anticipate the old man over there getting the best of me. Once Carl had a hold of me, it was over. No running away.”
I flinch. That’s not exactly a great story. That’s sad and tragic—not to mention mind-boggling—since I know he used to work here. Looking at him now and trying to picture the young man who must have been at the very edges of hunger to resort to such a violent act makes my heart ache. Even though I haven’t known him long, I sense that he’s not one for pity, so I do my best to keep my face straight as I ask, “I thought you said you used to work here?”
“I did.”
My eyes flit to Nettie and then back to Xavier. “You robbed your own employers?”
“Sugar, he didn’t work here when he did that. That’s what landed him the job,” Nettie says as she pats Xavier’s shoulder.
The skin on my forehead creases as I furrow my brow. “I guess I’m confused. Why would you give him a job if he tried to steal from you?”
Nettie waves me off. “The boy was hungry. We all do crazy things when we don’t have any other choice. We figured the law wouldn’t do a thang for ‘dis boy but corrupt him more by throwing him in jail. So instead of calling the cops, we offered him a job.”
My eyes drift over to Xavier, and he frowns as he gauges my reaction. That explains his rough edge. He was a street kid. He had to grow up tough. I’m not sure what he experienced with his family, but whatever it was, it was bad enough that he still doesn’t want to discuss them now. It’s obvious they mistreated him, but I wonder to what extent.
I straighten my shoulders and give Xavier a small smile, attempting to reassure him this doesn’t sway my opinion of his character. “Looks like you’re right, Nettie. He appears to have turned out just fine.”
A flicker of relief washes over his stoic expression as Nettie says, “I agree. He’s made such a turn around. The hardest part was—”
Xavier cuts her off. “It’s getting late, and we should really get going. How much do I owe you?”
“It’s on the house,” she replies as she gathers up his empty plate. Xavier rolls his eyes and fishes out his wallet, placing a few hundreds on the table again. “Boy, if you don’t put that money away—”
Xavier pushes himself out of the booth and wraps an arm around Nettie’s shoulders. “Don’t be a pain in my ass. Take the damn money.”
She sags against him. “You know you don’t have to do this every time you come in here. We’d love you if you were still broke.”
He kisses the top of her head. “I know.” He releases Nettie and extends his hand to me. “Ready, beautiful?”
Other than the roaring engine of the bike, the ride back to Aunt Dee’s is quiet. It’s taking every inch of my self-control to bottle up all my questions about his past. I want to know about him so badly it physically hurts.
Xavier parks his bike next to the curb and kills the engine. After I remove my arms from around his waist, I hop off and hand him his helmet.
He swings his leg over the bike, and I raise my eyebrows. The expression on my face must give away my surprise because he chuckles as he says, “Relax, I’m just walking you to the door. Lots of creeps around at this time of night.”
“Bodyguard mode?”
Another chuckle has his eyes crinkling at the corners as he shrugs. “Can you blame me for wanting to protect that smokin’ little body of yours?”
His words make me blush and run my fingers through my hair, desperate to draw attention away from my reddening cheeks. It’s crazy how simple flirty phrases from him can cause my heart to flutter.
He takes my hand and pulls me toward the front door. “What time is your shift tomorrow?”
“Not until four.”
He chews on his bottom lip as we step onto the landing. “Do you have any plans afterward?”
The smart thing for me to do is cut this off now. We both know that this can never be a long-term relationship since he’s leaving soon, but I can’t keep myself away from the torture that I know lies ahead. “I’d like that.”