"What are you? My mother?"
"Just your average loyal Legionnaire trying to do her best to help the wheels of our mighty war machine turning smoothly instead of goin' flat. While there may not be much that I can do personally to assist our fearless leader, I feel it behooves me to try to see to it that those who can make a difference stay on their feet and function at something approximating maximum efficiency. Get my drift, or am I goin' too fast for you?"
Brandy's laugh was clear over the communicator.
"All right. You win. I'll get some sleep and pick it up from here tomorrow. Good night now... Mother. Brandy out."
"That Rose?" Tusk-anini said, repeating his earlier question as the communicator went dead.
"It sure as hell was." Phule grinned. "Come on up when you're ready, Tusk-anini. I've got to go talk to that woman!"
The commander flew back up the stairs, nearly breaking down the door of the penthouse in his enthusiasm and eagerness.
"I overheard that last exchange, Rose," he exclaimed, bursting into the room. "You were fantastic!"
"Uggle mpt."
Stunned, the captain stopped in his tracks and stared at the Legionnaire who a moment before had been verbally the height of confidence and wit. Head bowed and blushing, she was the same as she had been when he left the room.
"I... I'm sorry. Didn't mean to shout," he said carefully. "I just wanted to compliment you on your handling of Brandy's call. "
Rose blushed and shrugged, but kept her eyes averted.
"Well, I guess I'll follow your advice and get some sleep now. Oh. I told Tusk-anini he could do his reading up here. He'll be up in a few minutes."
That got him a nod, but no more. After a moment's hesitation, he retreated through the connecting door into his bedroom.
Once within his sanctum, Phule leaned back against the now closed door and thought hard for several long minutes. Finally, with careful deliberation, he raised his hand and punched the proper key on his wrist communicator.
"This is the all-night voice of Com Central," came the now familiar voice. "How may we help you decide what to do with the rest of your life?"
"Rose? Captain Jester here," Phule said, sinking into a chair with a smile.
"Why you High-ranking Rascal. Didn't you promise me you were going to go beddie-bye?"
"Truth to tell, Rosie, I just couldn't doze off until I told you one more time how much I appreciate your golden tones brightening the airwaves."
"Well, thank you, Captain. My lonely night here at Com Central is brightened considerably by your tribute."
"And also," Phule continued quickly, "I've just got to know why you're so much different than when we meet face-to-face."
"Hmmm... I suppose I can light that one little match of enlightenment for you, since things are so slow tonight-but only if you promise to go right to bed when I'm done."
"You've got a deal. So, what's the story?"
"Not much to tell, really. I had a terrible stutter when I was a kid. I mean, it could take me fifteen minutes just to say 'Hello' to someone. The kids at school used to tease me something awful about it, so I got so's I wouldn't say anything just to keep them from laughing at me."
The commander nodded his understanding, so wrapped up in Rose's tale he didn't pause to think that she couldn't see his reaction.
"Anyway, finally somebody got around to running some tests on me. They slapped some earphones on my head and turned up the tone until I couldn't hear myself talk, and you know what? Like that, I could talk as normal as anybody! It seemed the problem was that I was scared of the sound of my own voice! Once I found that out, things got a bit better, but I still had trouble talking in front of other people. So what I did was I got me a job in a little-bitty radio station, and let me tell you, I did everything. I was the DJ, the news and weather person, the ad person. Mostly, though, I did phone-in conversations with the listeners. Everything was fine, just as long as I didn't have to talk to folks face-to-face. I practically lived at that station for five years... until it got bought out and the new owner automated the whole shebang and fired me."
"And so you joined the Legion," Phule finished for her thoughtfully.
"Well, there were a few things I did first, but that's about the size of it. Now, don't you go feeling sorry for me, Big Daddy. I'm a grown girl now and I made up my own mind to join."
"Actually," the commander said, "I was thinking seriously of offering you permanent duty at Com Central-that is, if you can forgo the pleasure of standing duty in the swamp."
"Now, that's a thought. Let me mull it over and get back to you on that one. Meantime, I believe you were going to get some sleep? Seems to me I recall someone making me a promise to that effect a little while back."
"Okay. I'll do it." Phule grinned. "Nice chatting with you... Mother. Jester out."
Clicking off his communicator, the commander rose, stretched, and headed for the bed. All in all, it had been a pretty good day. It looked like he had found himself a new clerk and a communications specialist. If things worked out, he'd have to see about getting them each an extra stripe.
It wasn't until he had disrobed down to his shorts that he remembered that he never had gotten anything to eat.
CHAPTER NINE
Journal #104
The assigning of partners within the company was a milestone event. Though it actually occurred over the space of several weeks, the effects were apparent almost immediately.
While great care had been taken in deciding who would be paired with whom, and for the most part the choices accepted by the Legionnaires, it was expected that there would be some complaints and protests. Needless to say, in this, at least, my employer was not to be disappointed.
"Excuse me, Captain. Have you got a minute?"
Phule glanced up from his coffee to find two of his Legionnaires, Do-Wop and Sushi, fidgeting at his table. It seemed that his relaxing morning cup of coffee was not going to be so peaceful.
"Certainly. Would you like to have a seat?"
"This shouldn't take long," Do-Wop said, shaking his head. He was of medium height and weight, with a coarse complexion and black curly hair that always looked like it needed washing. "We were wondering if it was possible to be assigned different partners. I mean, there are still some of the crew who haven't been assigned..."
"Both of you feel this way?" the commander interrupted.
"That is correct, Captain," Sushi confirmed crisply. A full head shorter than Do-Wop, he was a slightly built Oriental who dressed and held himself with meticulous precision. "Our personalities and values are incompatible. I'm afraid that any permanent association between the two of us would prove to be detrimental to the smooth operation of the company."
"I see." Phule nodded grimly. "Sit down, both of you."
This time, it was a command, not an invitation, that was voiced, and the Legionnaires grudgingly selected chairs.
"Now then, tell me more about these incompatible values you're experiencing."
The two men glanced at each other, each apparently reluctant to be the first to voice his complaints. It was Do-Wop who finally took the plunge.
"He's always talkin' down to me," came the complaint. "Just because he knows a lot of big words..."
The commander held up a restraining hand.
"I really don't think that the size of your partner's vocabulary should be a factor here."
"It's not just that," Do-Wop said, flushing slightly. "He called me a crook-to my face!"