"Different commanders have different priorities," Phule said. "I'm sure the same thing is true in police work. All I can say is that while I'm in command of the Legionnaires stationed here, none of them are going to be left to rot in one of your cells... provided we're duly informed that they've been restrained, that is. I trust you'll see to it that word is passed to us on a timely basis?"
"Don't worry, we'll let you know." Goetz smirked. "Of course, whether or not it's on a timely basis will probably depend on whether or not anyone's answering the phone at your end."
"We're using the penthouse at the Plaza as our headquarters while we're in the settlement," Phule said, scribbling quickly on a page in his notebook, which he tore off and tossed onto the chief's desk. "That's the number, in case you don't have it already. If I'm not there to take your call, someone will who can relay the information to me immediately."
Goetz made no move to pick the note up, but rather scowled at the Legionnaire.
"Excuse me for pointing out the obvious, Captain," he said levelly, "but weren't you just telling me I wouldn't have any trouble out of your crew? If that's the case, why are you so all fired eager to be sure we know what to do when we arrest one of them?"
"I believe I said I didn't expect there'd be any more trouble than usual," the commander corrected. "I'm not trying to kid you that there won't be any trouble, Chief. We both know there's bound to be some incidents once in a while. I'm just trying to establish a rapport between us to ease things when and if anything does happen."
"Well, when and if anything happens, you can rest assured that..."
The phone on the desk exploded with sound, interrupting the chief in midsentence. Frowning, he snatched up the receiver.
"Goetz. What's the... I see. Well, put him on."
The chief's eyes sought and held Phule's as he smiled into the phone.
"Chief of police... Yes, sir... I see... Just a moment. "
Covering the receiver with one hand, Goetz leaned back in his chair and smirked at the Legionnaire in his office.
"What do you know, Captain? It seems we have an incident, as you put it, already."
"What is it?"
"I've got the hotel manager of the Plaza on the line here. It seems a couple of your law-abiding troops are brawling in his lobby. Do you want to handle this, or should I send a few of my boys over to break it up?"
The commander held out his hand for the phone, which the chief passed him after a moment's hesitation.
"Phule here, Bombast. What seems to be the problem?"
"That's Bom--- oh! Mr. Phule," came the hotel manager's voice through the receiver. "It's... ah... nothing really. "
"If it's nothing, why are you bothering the police?"
"I just... I didn't know how to reach you, sir, and a couple of your... troops are fighting in the lobby. Now, I'd like to be tolerant, but I have a responsibility to the owners if any damage is done, and my security can't...
"Is one of them a woman?"
"Sir?"
"Come on, Bombast, you know the difference. Is one of them a woman... fairly short?"
"As a matter of fact, yes."
"Can you hold for a moment?"
Phule covered the receiver with one hand while he counted slowly to ten.
"Bombast?"
"Yes, Mr. Phule?"
"Are they still fighting?"
"Well... no, sir. It seems to have stopped."
"Then that's that. Oh, and Bombast?"
"Yes, Mr. Phule?"
"I don't think it's necessary to trouble the police with every little scuffle that occurs. If I'm not around, let one of the lieutenants or sergeants know and they'll handle it... and I'll personally guarantee any damages to the hotel. All right?"
"Y-yes, Mr. Phule."
"Fine. Goodbye now."
Shaking his head, the commander returned the chief's phone to its cradle.
"Sony about that, Chief Goetz. I think it's taken care of now. "
"Nice of you to try so hard to keep our work load down."
"Wasn't I supposed to handle that?" the Legionnaire said, raising his eyebrows. "I thought you asked-"
"Now, what's all this 'fool' stuff?" the chief broke in. "I thought you said your name was Jester... excuse me, Captain Jester."
"Captain Jester is my official name within the Space Legion," Phule clarified. "Unfortunately my credit cards are still in my civilian name, and I had to use that when I signed my company into the hotel."
It was Chief Goetz's turn to raise his eyebrows.
"Your credit cards? Then you weren't kidding about taking personal responsibility for any damage done to the hotel? I was wondering how a down-at-the-heels outfit like the Space Legion could afford to use the Plaza for temporary housing, but I'm starting to see the light. Just what is your background, Captain?"
"In the Legion, it's generally considered poor manners to ask- that, Chief."
Goetz bared his teeth in a wolfish grin.
"Well, I don't happen to be in your Legion, Captain. I'm in charge of keeping order in this settlement, and that includes checking out suspicious characters who wander in... like people who start throwing around large hunks of credit with no visible income to explain it. That gives me the right to ask just about anything I damn well please, so I'm asking you again: What were you before the Legion dipped you in tar?"
Phule shrugged. "The same as I am now. Wealthy. If you want to run a check, I'm sure you'll have no trouble confirming that my assets are legitimate. Incidentally that's spelled with a 'p-h'... P-h-u-l-e, as in Phule-Proof Munitions."
"Oh now, that's just swell!" Goetz spat. "You know, Captain, if there's anything I hate more than soldiers who think they can bust up things without answering to civil law, it's rich boys who think they can buy their way out of anything. Well, let me tell you, mister, the law in this settlement isn't for sale. If your soldier boys keep their noses clean, they'll get no hassles from me or mine, but if they get out of line..."
"You'll turn them over to me without a mark on them, as we discussed earlier," the Legionnaire finished. "That is what we were saying when the phone rang, isn't it, Chief?"
"Oh, there won't be a scratch on them... unless, of course, they resist arrest."
"If any of my troops get hurt resisting arrest," Phule said coldly, "I'll want to see the injuries done to the arresting officer... just to be sure they 'resisted' before they were cuffed. "
Goetz's face purpled again.
"My men don't rough up suspects after they've been handcuffed, if that's what you're trying to say."
"Then there shouldn't be any problems between us." Phule smiled. "Really, Chief. I didn't come in here to pick a fight with you or to try to bribe you or anyone on your force for special considerations. If you'll recall, the subject of money didn't come up at all until that call came in from the Plaza, and even then only when you questioned me about it directly. I just wanted to let you know we had moved into town, and that my company will be willing to help the police on an auxiliary basis if any trouble should arise."
The police chief cocked his head to one side.
"If I understand you correctly, Captain, even though you're new, the troops under your command are the same ones who have been stationed here for the last year?"
"That's right."
"Then frankly I can't think of a situation desperate enough that I'd want to work with them"-he flashed his wolf's smile again-"but I do appreciate your offering to help us poor flatfeet out. Now, get out of my office and let me get some work done."