As I waited for Marci on Friday, I prayed that we wouldn’t
run into Hailey. I’d waited at the courtyard gate, nervously
looking back at the door, hoping for the first time that Hailey
didn’t appear. I looked up at her window. The room was dark, but
I had a feeling I was being watched.
I’d picked up the phone a dozen times to cancel the date but
changed my mind. Maybe Kalen was right. I spent too much time
crushing on Hailey that I couldn’t allow myself to be interested in
anyone else. But there was a part of me that wished Hailey would
burst through the door and beg me not to go.
Marci had made reservations for Ralph’s On The Park. Kalen
had been there and told me about it. I’d always wanted to go, but
I couldn’t get excited about it now. I knew the minute I got into
Marci’s car and looked into her eyes how the evening would end,
and I felt like a first-class cad.
“This must be the hotspot of New Orleans,” I said, looking
around at the crowd.
Marci nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve been here a couple of
times, and the food is fantastic. Why don’t you order the tuna two
ways and I’ll order the disgruntled shrimp? We can share.”
I’d hardly opened my menu, and she was already picking out
dinner for us. It grated my nerves. If Kalen, or I dare say even
Hailey, had suggested it, I wouldn’t have batted an eye, nor would
Robin Alexander
I have hesitated to say that I hated tuna regardless of how it’s
served. But there I sat nodding like an idiot because I felt guilty
for being there in the first place.
I listened as Marci ordered a bottle of white wine when the
waiter asked us what we’d have to drink. The wine she chose was
the perfect complement to seafood, but I didn’t care for it. Of
course, it’s considered by some to be unsophisticated to drink an
inappropriate wine with dinner, but I never cared for convention
and always chose red over white regardless of the meal. I’m sure
there are women out there who like for someone to take charge
when it came to ordering, but I wasn’t one of them.
I blinked a few times when Marci interrupted my internal
bitch session. “You look lovely tonight.” I was about to return the
compliment when she tilted her head to the side and said, “Have
you ever considered wearing your hair shorter?”
“I…um…no. I don’t care for short hair…on me.”
“I just asked because I think it would make your face look
fuller and,” she smiled, “you have beautiful eyes, and I think
they’d stand out even more.”
“Thank you,” I said as the waiter arrived and opened the
wine. For a fleeting second, I had a vision of sitting around in
my underwear waiting for Marci to dress me. I knew I was being
unfair and looking for anything to cling to that would make it
easier for me to pull away.
“How was your week?” I asked when we were alone again.
“Very busy, which was especially difficult because I was
distracted.”
“How so?”
“I was nervous about tonight,” Marci admitted with a shy
smile.
“Me too,” but for different reasons, I was sure.
Marci smiled and toyed with the stem of her glass. “That
makes me feel better.”
“What is it you do? I neglected to ask the night we met.”
“I’m a veterinarian. Cats are my specialty.”
“Do you have a cat?” I had flashbacks of the cat that didn’t
approve of me.
0
Pitifully Ugly
“Two, one has three legs, his name is Tripod, and the other is
missing an eye. I tend to take in the ones that have already gone
through eight of their lives.”
“What’s the name of the one missing the eye?” I asked before
taking a sip of wine.
“Spike. He’s really tough.”
“Tough, huh?” I remembered my ankle mauling and agreed.
I thought cats in general were tough.
“Do you have any pets?”
I shook my head. “Although I am getting to know my
neighbor’s dog. She allows me to play ball with her, the dog, I
mean.”
Marci laughed. “I was going to ask the neighbor or the dog.”
I laughed along with her, but on the inside, my brain was
chastising me for bringing up Hailey, but still I went on. “We
played tennis the other day, and the dog got jealous, so I had to
play an extra-long game of catch with her.”
“I didn’t know you played tennis,” Marci said. “I love to play.
Maybe we could try it sometime.”
“I really don’t play all that well, I’m just learning. So how do
you handle working with animals you obviously love? I imagine it
can be heartbreaking at times,” I said, anxious to change the subject.
“I try to disassociate myself and do what I’m trained to do.
Sometimes I manage just fine, then there are other times that it
really gets to me. I’ve learned to look at it like a mechanic does
when they’re working on a car. If something isn’t functioning
correctly, I try to find out why and correct it.”
I watched Marci as she talked about tending to sick and
wounded animals. Her compassion was obvious. She was kind
with a generous heart. I should’ve felt like the luckiest girl in the
world, and I despised myself for not being able to.
After dinner, we walked to Marci’s car. I thought she was
about to open the door for me, but she turned suddenly and leaned
against it, pulling me into her arms. “It’s a beautiful night, and
it’s still early. Would you like to go dancing? Besides, I feel like
I should at least buy you a drink since you insisted on paying for
dinner.”
1
Robin Alexander
She had me around the waist and was holding me tightly
against her. It felt wrong. I fought a wave of claustrophobia as
I put my hands on the side of her car. She looked at me oddly,
clearly expecting me to give into the embrace. “You seem kind of
distant,” she said as she released me.
I winced. The doorway to honesty was wide open, and I owed
it to her to take that step. “I’m having a bit of a problem. I find
myself torn, and I’m not sure what to do.”
I took a step back as Marci narrowed her eyes and looked at
me. “My neighbor, the one I mentioned earlier…I find myself
attracted…to her.”
Marci inhaled deeply as her arms dropped to her sides.
“I don’t want to end up hurting you, but I have to be honest
and tell you that I’m really conflicted right now.”
“Thank you for telling me the truth,” she said. “I’ve been
there before, I know how if feels.”
“You’re a wonderful person, and if I’d met you sooner, I don’t
think I’d be where I am emotionally right now.”
“That’s sweet of you to say,” Marci said somberly. I felt ill.
She surprised me by reaching over and taking my hand. “I’d
really like to get to know you better, but I think it wouldn’t be fair
to either of us to continue like this. I think you should concentrate
on sorting your feelings. If things don’t work out, give me a call,
and if I’m available, I would love to try again.”
All I had to offer was friendship—just like Hailey had offered
me. It sucked to be on either end of that offer.