sounded like it was going well.
I leaned against the sink and thought back to the kiss that
we’d shared the night before. Those same lips had told me that
she could only offer friendship, but when they met mine, they
conveyed an entirely different message. One that said behind the
guise of friendship burned a passion that would burn us both to
embers if unleashed.
I cleaned up after dinner. It took an argument to get Mom
and Kalen to go sit down and leave me to it. I figured they needed
time to relax, and I just wanted time alone to wonder what Hailey
would tell me when I returned home. Would she give us a chance,
or would she keep me at arm’s length again?
Kalen was the first to go to bed. Mom had showered and
found me in the den flipping through the channels. “Tell me
about these two women Kalen mentioned,” she said as she took a
seat next to me.
“Actually, it’s just one woman. I’m not going to see the other
one anymore.”
“Was that your choice?”
I nodded. “I didn’t think it was right to lead Marci on because
Hailey is the one I really want to get to know.” I looked into Mom’s
Pitifully Ugly
dark eyes. It surprised me how much she and Kalen had begun
to look alike. Her dark and wavy hair damp from her shower was
pulled back away from her face, and though she was tired, she
still looked a lot younger than her sixty-three years.
She rested the side of her head on the back of the sofa and
looked at me. “Your sister would’ve dated them both until she
made up her mind,” Mom said with a grin. “How did you meet
Hailey?”
“She moved into my building. There’s just something about
her—a connection that I can’t explain.”
Mom gave my arm a squeeze. “I look forward to meeting
her.”“I hope it’ll go that far.”
Mom touched her finger to my nose. “I’m happy that you’ve
found someone that makes your eyes sparkle the way they are
now.”“I’m sparkling?”
“Yes, and your sister is glowing.” Mom yawned. “It means so
much to me to have you girls here now.”
“Dad scared you half to death, didn’t he?”
“He sure did. There are days that he’s a complete pain in my
ass, but I can’t imagine life without him. When you find the right
one, there’s a bond that makes you feel whole. I know that one day
you’ll understand exactly what I mean.”
I thought I was beginning to.
“I have The Glass Bottom Boat in the DVD player in my
room. Want to curl up like we did in the old days and watch it
until we fall asleep?” Mom asked.
I managed to make it to my favorite part when the vacuum
cleaner ate Doris Day’s slipper. Mom had long been asleep when
I switched the movie off. I put my phone on to charge and sent
Hailey a message telling her good night and thanked her again
for taking care of me. Her response was, Anytime and sweet
dreams.
I lay down then and studied my mother’s face as she slept.
I wondered what she was seeing behind her closed eyes. What
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made her brow furrow even in slumber? I remembered a time
long ago, the first time we watched movies in bed together and
seeing her face look the same way.
I think I was around six when my parents had a party. Kalen
and I were tucked into bed, but I could hear the laughter coming
from the patio and couldn’t sleep. I slipped out of bed and watched
the grown-ups through our window, drinking their drinks and
talking in groups around the yard. I wanted to be grown, too, and
drink the drinks they were mixing in the blender.
I remembered that there was a big tray in the kitchen loaded
with sandwiches with the crusts cut off just like I liked them. I
sneaked out of the room and moved quietly down the hall. I was
about to make my move for the tray when I heard a woman’s voice
coming from the den.
“Roger, it’s too risky.”
And then I heard my father’s voice whispering something I
couldn’t make out. The woman laughed. It wasn’t my mother’s
laugh, so I leaned around as far as I could. She was facing Dad,
but I could see his hand on the small of her back, and they were
kissing just like my mom and dad did.
I shrank back against the wall when I heard the kitchen door
open. Uncle Jimmy was muttering something about ice.
“What are you doing up?” my mom whispered behind
me. She glanced into the den and put her finger to her lips as
she took me by the hand and led me back down the hall to her
bedroom. She picked me up and sat me on the bed and knelt in
front of me. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes. Though I didn’t
understand it then, there was pain. “What are you doing out of
bed, Shannon?”
“I wanted a sandwich with no crust.” As if it would make it
better, I held up my stuffed cat. “Scratchy wants one, too, he’s
very hungry.”
Mom’s eyes watered when she smiled. “I’ll get you and
Scratchy a sandwich, stay right here.”
“Mommy, who was that lady kissing daddy?” I asked as she
stood to go.
She knelt down again and patted Scratchy on the head.
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Pitifully Ugly
“That’s your daddy’s special friend. It’s a secret, and only me and
you know about it. Can we keep it that way?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Mom sniffed and kissed me on the head. “I’ll be right back.
You stay here, okay?”
That was the very first time Mom and I lay in bed together
watching Doris Day. It took me a while to understand what Dad’s
special friend was and why my mother looked the way she did
that night. But when it all dawned on me, I secretly resented
my father and worried that one day we wouldn’t all be a family
anymore. I kept the secret, though, telling no one, not even Kalen.
In adulthood, I realized that Mom had somehow found it in her
heart to forgive him. I eventually did, too, in secret.
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Chapter 15
Cat on a hot tin roof.
“You have to take them, Roger.”
We weren’t out of the parking lot, and my dad was already
bitching about having to take more pills. I was glad that I was
behind the wheel, and I could use the excuse that I needed to
concentrate on driving if he tried to get me to take his side.
“Dad, you have to stay healthy,” Kalen said. “You remember
why, don’t you?”
That silenced the argument.
“Are you gonna name him after me?” Dad asked.
“It very well could be a girl,” Mom said. “You need to prepare
yourself for that.”
Dad huffed. “Todd has two brothers. Boys are predominant
on his side, so it’s gonna be a boy.” When Mom opened her mouth
to argue, he piped up. “Don’t get my blood pressure up, Jill, you
know what the doctor said, ‘easy does it.’”
“And I suppose you’re going to play that card every chance
you get,” Mom shot back.
Dad laughed. “Are you kidding me? That’s my ace in the hole.”