through the courtyard, I used the garage entrance to come and
go, not that I went anywhere much. I found myself often watching
Hailey in the courtyard from my window as she walked Fuzzy.
She’d bounce the ball for a while, but Fuzzy would take it and
drop it in a flowerbed before returning to rest her head on Hailey’s
knee. Even Fuzzy seemed to be sad.
It was a wet and miserable day, so I was surprised to see Kalen
letting herself into the courtyard on a dismal Saturday morning.
As she made her way up the walk, I saw Fuzzy dart toward her.
My heart thudded when Hailey came into view, and Kalen shook
her hand while pointing up to my window. I stepped back when
Hailey looked in my direction.
A little while later, I opened my door to Kalen, who stalked
past me. “I picked a shitty day for a walk.” Kalen started to strip
away her wet things in the middle of my living room. “Do you
have some sweats I can borrow? I’m soaked to the bone,” she said
through chattering teeth.
“Take a shower and thaw out.” I pushed her toward the
bathroom. “You didn’t walk al the way from your house, did you?”
“I had Todd drop me off a few blocks from here.” Kalen pulled
off her shirt, revealing a slight pooch in her belly. “It started to
rain on the last block.”
I reached over and patted her stomach. “Is this the baby
showing already?”
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Robin Alexander
“No, that’s fat,” Kalen said with a sob. “I’m gaining weight so
fast, but I can’t stop eating.” She grabbed me by the shoulders with
tears on her cheeks. “Let’s eat pizza. Todd has been following me
around with fruits and vegetables. If I’m going to puff up, I want
to at least enjoy what I’m eating.”
“I’ll order it right after I find you something to wear.”
Kalen hugged me tightly and went back to tugging off her
wet clothes.
After I found something for her to put on and ordered the
pizza, I warmed some milk for hot chocolate. Kalen looked better
when she came out of the bathroom. We took a seat on the sofa,
and she told me about vacillating between wanting to throttle
Todd one minute and cuddle the next. “It’s like I have multiple
personalities. I think he’s afraid of me.”
I would’ve agreed with her if she didn’t look so serious.
Kalen rubbed her stomach. “Do you think I’ll be like this
through the whole pregnancy?”
“You’ll have to ask Mom about that. I have no clue.”
Kalen smiled at me. “I think you’d be so cute pregnant.”
“I do not.” I jumped up when my cell phone rang. “Pizza’s at
the gate, I’ll be right back.” I answered and told the delivery guy
that I’d be right down. I took the stairs instead of the elevator,
kidding myself that the exercise would combat the calories I was
about to inhale. I trotted through the courtyard and opened the
gate. A teenage boy balanced the pizza in one hand while he
petted Fuzzy. I looked up to see Hailey making her way slowly
toward us.
As I paid for the pizza, Fuzzy bumped my leg with her ball. “I
missed you,” I said in a whisper as I scratched her behind the ears.
Hailey held the gate open for me. “How are you?” she asked
when I moved past her.
I wanted to say empty and depressed, but I mustered a smile
and lied. “Fine and you?”
I watched with sadness as Hailey’s lips twitched. “I’m okay.”
Neither of us seemed to know what to say as we walked
toward the building. Fuzzy circled us as we went, sniffing the air
around the pizza box. “Does she like pizza, too?”
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Hailey shooed her away when she got too close. “She thinks
she does, though she’s never had it.” Hailey opened the door and
held it for me and Fuzzy. “Enjoy your dinner,” she said as she and
Fuzzy took the stairs.
When I entered my apartment, Kalen was standing in the
window with her arms folded across her chest. “She’s pretty.” She
walked over to the coffee table where I set the pizza and dove in
without waiting for a plate. “I met her in the courtyard earlier.”
“Yeah, she is,” I said quietly as I poured a couple of glasses
of tea.
Kalen had already polished off one piece and was going after
another when I slid a plate onto her lap. “You’re seeing her, aren’t
you?”
“No, she broke it off with me.” I met Kalen’s glance. “She was
upfront and said she didn’t want anything serious.”
Kalen bit into her pizza, watching me. “This is why you’ve
been hiding yourself away lately,” she said after she chewed.
“I’ve had a lot of work to catch up on. Atlanta put me behind.”
After one slice, I was full. I put my plate on the coffee table and
sipped my tea. Kalen dipped into the box for another piece.
“You can’t give up, Shannon, just because this didn’t work
out. There are still a lot of nice women out there.”
“I know, but right now, I’m not interested.” I toyed with the
string on my sweatpants, aware that Kalen had stopped eating
and turned her full attention on me. “I can’t go out with someone
else while I’m thinking about her.”
“She watched you the whole time you were paying the pizza
guy.”“That’s not helping.” I tossed my napkin onto the table. “I think
she wants to be with me, but she’s as scared of me as I am of her.”
“You know the saying, ‘once a cheater always a cheater.’ You
have to let her go.”
I wanted to argue the point. Dad would’ve been the example,
but that would’ve devastated Kalen even after all these years.
“You don’t think there are people that realize the terrible mistake
they’ve made and resolve never to do it again?”
“Not from what I’ve seen. Remember Meredith’s husband?
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Robin Alexander
She’s caught him so many times that she’s just given up. The only
reason she stays is because of the kids. There’s not a day that I
don’t go to work and hear that someone’s husband was caught
running around.”
“I think Hailey’s case is different. She didn’t cheat because
she couldn’t keep it in her pants. She was coming to terms with
the fact that she’s gay.”
Kalen looked at me squarely. “That doesn’t give anyone the
license to cheat.”
I was growing weary of the conversation. “It doesn’t excuse
anything, but her reason sounds a hell of a lot better than just
some horny man or woman doing it for the thrill.”
Kalen pivoted and stretched her legs out on the sofa, making
it clear she didn’t have any plans to leave soon. “You only have
her word to go on. We don’t know anyone she knows, so we can’t
get another perspective.”
“Candace knew her cousin, but she left out the part that Jackie
had a temper that one day will land her in jail if it hasn’t already.”
I threw my legs out alongside hers. “There’s no need to discuss
this any further, anyway. She dumped me, remember?”
Kalen put her hands behind her head and grinned. “Okay,
next topic. What was it like kissing Angela?”
I know she saw my shocked expression before I could hide it.