“We need to get out of here,” she told Emily.
Emily, who was waist-deep into the hole, tried to hoist herself out of it, and groaned in pain. “I can’t.”
“Great,” Maggie muttered. “I get to save the woman who wanted to kill me. I better get points for this somewhere.”
She bent down, hooked her arms under Emily’s armpits and with great effort, and pulled her out of the hole. She started to drag a sobbing Emily through the woods but stopped when the gator advanced toward them.
“What’s wrong? Why are you stopping?” Emily asked between sobs.
“Our friend there thinks that you’re my prey and I’m dragging you off to eat. Which only makes you look more delicious to him.”
“Oh my God, I’m gonna die.”
“No you’re not. At least not here. Hopefully in the jail where you’ll be spending the rest of your life.”
“Forget it,” Emily cried. “I’d rather be eaten by the alligator.”
Maggie ignored her and thought for a minute. She and some friends had once gone camping in California’s Sequoia National Park. A park ranger warned the group, “If you’re confronted by a mountain lion, don’t act scared and run. Instead make yourselves appear as large as possible, then yell and scream and act like you’re the predators.” Maggie wondered if the same trick might work with an alligator. She dropped Emily, and pulled herself up to her full height, expanding her physical presence as much as she could.
“Yah!” she screamed at the gator as she waved her arms in a threatening manner. The gator stared at her, and Maggie began to panic that instead of telegraphing “Go away!” her actions were sending the message, “Come ’n get it!” But it was too late to take a different tack, so she continued to yell and stomp around like a lunatic. After what felt like the longest seconds of her life, the gator turned away and slowly slunk back into the water until he was completely submerged.
“You did it,” Emily said. “You got rid of him.”
“Yup,” Maggie said as she started off. “And now I can get rid of you. I’ll be back with the police.”
“Wait,” Emily begged. “Don’t. Let me go and I’ll give you whatever you want. I have money. Or one of the castles. I don’t need both; you can just pick one. They’re both awesome.”
“You have got to be kidding.” Maggie, furious, put her hands on her hips and bent down until she was face to face with Emily. “Can you possibly think that I’d be like, ‘Hey, she murdered two people but I get a castle, so no biggie?’ That is the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me in my life. How dare you think—”
Maggie’s diatribe was interrupted by the sound of shouting.
“Maggie! Maggie, where are you?”
She instantly recognized the voice. “Here, Bo! By the hole!”
Leaves crunched under the feet of someone running through the woods. Bo yanked some branches out of his way as he emerged from the trees with his gun drawn. Gaynell was right behind him. Both ran up to Maggie.
“Are you all right?” Bo asked.
Maggie nodded yes. “But she’s not,” Maggie said as she pointed to Emily, who was making a futile effort to crawl away. Bo trained his gun on her and she stopped. “Emily murdered Beverly and Debbie, and she was going to kill me too. We have to free Gran’. Emily locked her in the closet in the shotgun.”
She began running toward the shotgun, but Gaynell pulled her back. “Your Grand-mère’s okay,” Gaynell said. “We found her when we went to look for you. Bo used GPS to trace your phone to the shotgun house. Gran’s on the veranda having a Gin Fizz and sharing her story with anyone who’ll listen.”
“Thank God.” Overwhelmed, Maggie sunk to the ground, the drama and danger of the morning finally catching up to her.
Gaynell knelt down and put an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “You can relax. It’s over.”
There was the rhythmic sound of steps in the woods, and they all tensed up. Bo quietly circled, gun at the ready.
“Em?” a voice whispered. “Emily are you there?”
“Shane,” Emily called. “Help! I’m hurt and these people won’t let me go. They think I killed those women.”
Shane shoved his way through a tangle of trees and ran to Emily’s side. “What the hell? Boo Bear, what happened?”
Emily burst into tears that Maggie figured were at least half-real, given her busted leg. “It’s awful. Maggie accused me of murder and chased me into the woods, and I fell in a big hole and I think I broke something.”
Shane whipped around and faced Maggie. “I’m gonna sue your ass off.” Then he turned to Bo. “And have you thrown off the force for police brutality.”
Maggie snorted. “Nice act, Shane.”
Bo held the gun on Shane with one hand and pulled out a pair of cuffs with the other. “You’re both under arrest for the murders of Francine-slash-Beverly Prepoire Roubideaux Walker Clabber and Debra Stern.” He holstered his gun and turned back to Shane. “Hands behind your back.”
“You can’t do this,” Shane said as Bo cuffed him. “It’s false arrest. I’m gonna sue your ass off too.”
The others ignored him. “It’s going to be hard to get a stretcher through these woods,” Maggie said. She motioned to Emily. “Do you think we should carry her or let her put an arm around each of us and have her hop out?”
“Don’t you touch her,” Shane shouted. “She might be pregnant.”
“That’s right,” Emily said. Maggie could see Emily looking for a way to use this to her advantage. “Pregnant suspects need to be treated very carefully.”
“Sorry to break it to you, Emily,” Maggie said. “But we happen to know you’re not pregnant.”
“Yup,” Gaynell said. “We found the negative pee stick in your trash.”
Maggie saw the relief on Shane’s face. Unfortunately for him, so did Emily. And it really ticked her off. “The whole thing was his idea,” she cried out. “He forced me into it.”
Shane stared at her. “What?! Are you out of your mind? You’re the one who came up with the entire plan. You said I’d get my own golf course in Scotland.”
“He’s lying,” Emily sobbed theatrically. “He only wanted me to have a baby as insurance. That way we’d definitely have an heir.”
“No, no way, she’s talking crazy.” Shane’s voice and panic level rose simultaneously. “It was all about the golf course. And hunting. I could hunt in England and Scotland at my mansions, but I wouldn’t have to wear a skirt unless I wanted to, and then I’d have my own, one of those kilt things.” Shane devolved into babbling while Emily continued to hurl blame at him.
Maggie marveled at how quickly the couple had gone from sugary “boo bears” to selling each other out. Had they ever really cared for each other, she wondered, or was their connection solely based on a mutual desire to live out some warped version of a fairy tale replete with duchies and castles?
An ambulance siren wailed in the distance. A moment later, a police siren joined in. Shane turned to face Bo. “It was all her idea, I swear. I’ll tell you anything you want to know, just cut me a deal.”
“Don’t believe him, he’s full of it,” Emily said, her tone vicious.
The sirens grew louder as the ambulance and police cruiser drew closer to Crozat. “As easy as listening to you two incriminate each other makes my job, I’m really not interested in some lovers’ quarrel,” Bo said. “I just want to get your statements and hand you over to the DA.”
The sound of sirens was replaced by screeching tires and slamming doors. Someone called Bo’s name and he yelled back his location. Soon the area was overrun with EMTs and police officers. Bo and Cal Vichet led Shane to the black-and-white while Artie got in the ambulance to escort Emily, now officially under arrest, to the hospital.
“Let’s get you home for some rest and a shower,” Gaynell told Maggie.