Thinking about it infuriates me. I blame so many people. I blame your mother for not strapping you into that stroller. I blame the thousands of people that stood around while my father walked you right out of the country. I blame your real father for not being there to protect you. I blame my mother for taking off her seatbelt to hold Quill. But, the only people to really blame here is my father, and maybe even me.
Although I couldn’t have done anything at the age of ten, I could have later on. I could have reported your whereabouts once I was older. I didn’t for my own selfish reasons. I loved you too much to ever let you go. You were the shine in my sun, and I didn’t want to live without you. I know it was self-centered, and I wish now that I would have. I know that if you are reading this, you are alone and scared. I’m with you, baby. My heart will always be with you. You are secure in my arms, always baby.
Aquilla slammed the laptop shut on that note. She had an aching in her chest that she had never felt before. And, of course, the tears had to surface. Fuck. She didn’t want to answer to Seri or this Monica bitch.
“Quill?” Seri said in a question, seeing her wipe her eyes and stare out the window, avoiding eye contact.
“Leave me alone,” she demanded.
Seri looked to Monica. She was the one with the PhD. She didn’t know what the hell to say to her. Monica shook her head, telling her to leave her alone.
Seri did leave her alone until they saw the little trailer that Liz had mentioned up ahead.
“Quill, do you want an eggroll?”
“No!”
“Come on, Monica and I are going to have one. Let’s get out and get lemonade and something to tie us over until supper.”
Monica pulled off the side of the road.
“You coming?” she asked, turning around to look at her, sitting slumped with crossed arms.
“No. Seri, stay here for a second,” Aquilla answered, wanting to be alone with Seri.
“Order us both a couple eggrolls and lemonade,” Seri requested.
“What’s going on, Quill?” Seri asked, turning to her.
“Seri, you’ve got to help me get out of here. I don’t belong here. I don’t want to be here. I have to find Julius. Please, Seri,” She pleaded.
Seri took a deep breath. She couldn’t imagine what she was going through, but what the hell was she supposed to do? Where did this even come from? She was fine when they left.
“Quill, please give this a chance. You’ve only been here for three days. Monica is going to help you work through these feelings.”
“I don’t want Monica. I want Julius. Can’t you understand that?”
“Quill, you can’t have Julius. You don’t even know where he is. Do you really think that he is somewhere sitting around waiting for you to find him? He’s probably already training someone else.”
“Fuck you, Seri. He’ll find me, you just wait. He’ll fine me.”
“Julius is not coming for you, Quill,” Seri assured her with the cold hearted truth.
Whatever, she would see. She didn’t need Seri or anyone else. She would find him, one way or another. She would.
“Everything okay?” Monica asked, as she entered with the greasy smelling food and tray full of drinks.
“Yup, just fucking great,” Aquilla replied, turning her attention back toward the window and away from bitch face Seri.
Monica looked over to Seri, wondering what the hell just happened. Seri shrugged her shoulders and took the drinks.
Aquilla, of course, didn’t want food or drinks and thought the eggrolls looked disgusting. Seri and Monica ate theirs and loved them. Liz was right. They were delicious.
The GPS coming from the dash informed them that they would turn right in 19 more miles. Seri looked back to Quill, still contemplating whatever was on her mind.
“Monica, Quill needs to get stoned before we get there,” Seri blurted out.
Aquilla perked up. Hell yeah. That was exactly what she needed. It relaxed her and the last time she did it, she had figured out how to break Julius’s code. Maybe something would come to her that would help her locate him. Talin sure wasn’t any help, her so-called friend never even texted her back. She knew why though. She knew that her father had picked up and moved them away as soon as he got word of the raid at her house. She didn’t have that cellphone anymore. Her father would have made sure of that.
Monica almost swerved off the road. Surely her best friend hadn’t just suggested what she thought she had. She looked into the rearview mirror at Quill, miraculously in a better mood all of a sudden and then over to Seri with disbelieving eyes. Fuck. She was going to get them both fired.
“Sarah, what the hell are you talking about?” she asked with a look that told her to stop, like right that second.
“She’s smoked it before, Monica. It’s fine, and I really don’t want to deal with this attitude for the next five days.”
“Fuck you, Seri,” Quill called from the backseat.
“See,” Seri said, gesturing to the back seat with an open palm.
“Sarah, what the hell is wrong with you? You don’t give someone with issues a mind altering drug.”
“She is sitting right behind you, and she doesn’t have issues, just a fucked up life. I’m not going to tell anyone. I am a good secret keeper, just ask Seri, here,” Aquilla guaranteed.
“What is she talking about, Seri -- I mean Sarah? Oh fuck. This is bad. This is so bad. How is it that you seem to always land us in these messes?”
“Nothing,” Seri, replied, giving Aquilla a death glare.
“No. It’s not ‘nothing.’ I’m here to help her. You guys can’t keep secrets from me. What is she talking about, Sarah.”
“Let’s burn this before we get there,” Seri said, derailing the question that she was now going to have to answer, thanks to A-fucking-Quilla.
“This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy,” Monica chanted, over and over, watching Seri light the joint and hand it back to Quill.
Aquilla hit the joint next and held it between the seats. “You hitting this, Mo?” she asked, holding the smoke in her lungs. Seri smiled at her calling her Mo. Seri had called her Mo since the day she had met her.
“Of course I am. If I’m going to lose my job, I may as well do it in style,” she decided, taking the skinny joint from Quill.
Quill and Seri both felt better, Monica, not so much. She was freaking out. She couldn’t believe that they had just smoked weed with a 17 year old. She was going to kill her friend, first chance she got. She was dead.
“Okay, you’re both stoned off your ass. Quill’s mother is going to know that we are all high, and we’re both going to be looking for new jobs. Tell me what the big secret is,” Monica demanded.
Aquilla scooted up and hunched between the two seats. “Well, you see, Mo,” Aquilla started and then laughed when Seri cut her off.
“You sit back and shut your mouth. I curse the day I met you,” Seri said in a loud tone.
“The day you met me or the day you tasted me?” she asked, and then burst out laughing. Shit, this weed made everything funny.
“I’m warning you. I will leave with Monica and leave your skinny ass to fend for yourself.”
“Fuck that. If you leave me, I’ll be gone in a heartbeat,” Quill promised.
“Just freaking tell me,” Monica commanded again.
“It’s nothing really, just Seri here licked my twat when I was only 16,” Aquilla blurted out, still laughing. She couldn’t help it. The look on Seri’s face was epic.
“I fucking hate you. You’re such a little bitch,” Seri scolded with a scowl, which of course sent Aquilla into another laughing frenzy. “You’re never smoking weed again,” she threatened.