All three women stared directly at Seri, like it was her fault. What the hell was she supposed to do? She didn’t tell her to do that.
“What do you want me to do?” Seri whispered to Monica.
Monica only nodded, telling her to accommodate. “Are you sure you don’t mind, Ms. Rimmer?” Monica asked.
“No. Not at all,” Liz politely lied. She did mind. She wanted her and Seri both to leave. She was never going to bond with Aquilla with Seri there. She was like a security blanket to her. She wanted to be her security blanket.
“Your grandmother has made up a basket of the most delicious vegetables for you,” Liz said, walking into the room with Quill. “We’re going to grill out later with some of your family. I explained to her how you wouldn’t want the hamburgers and hotdogs,” she added with a smile as she moved her long blonde hair to the back of her shoulder.
Why did she keep doing that? Aquilla didn’t want her to touch her. She smiled a fake smile and took a step back and thanked her.
“Do I have time to go for a walk?” she asked.
“You sure do,” Monica chimed in, “And I am going with you. We’re going to talk.”
“Great,” Aquilla smirked.
Seri stayed behind and Monica and Aquilla walked around the lake. Monica observed her, watching her pick up stones and toss them to the lake. Aquilla finally turned to look at her.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“You insisted on tagging along because you wanted to talk. Remember?” she asked, with raised eyebrows.
Monica smiled and blew out a small puff of air. “Tell me what you think of all of this. How are you feeling?”
Aquilla laughed. She couldn’t help it. Was this chick for real? “How do you think I feel about all of this? Is that the best you could come up with? How many years did you have to go to school for that?”
“I can answer that. I think you are feeling more pissed off than anything. I think you should be pissed off. I would be. I also think you are using Sarah for a crutch to keep from dealing with any of it.”
“Maybe I’m in love with her,” Aquilla offered.
“Are you?” Monica asked, alarmed. She wasn’t expecting that. How the hell did she handle that?
Aquilla laughed. “You sure you have a degree in psychology? You’re not very good at it. I just threw some off the wall shit out and you believed it. Relax. I’m not in love with Seri.”
Monica breathed a sigh a relief. Thank heaven above. “But you are in love with this Julius character?”
“I’ve known Julius my whole life. Of course I love him.”
“There’s a difference in loving someone and being in love with him. When did you fall in love with him?”
Aquilla hummed and shrugged her shoulders. “A long time ago, I just didn’t know it until I was around 14.”
“So about three years ago?”
“No, four, I’m 18,” she insisted. She knew where Monica was going with this.
“You’re not 18, Quill. And you’re not Quill. You are Shelby Rimmer.”
“I am Aquilla Chavez. That is all I have ever known, and I refuse to be called something that I had no control over just because everyone else thinks that way.”
“What do you mean that you had no control over?”
“I didn’t choose to be kidnapped. I didn’t choose for Seri to come and fuck everything up, and I sure as hell didn’t choose to come here and live with the Brady bunch.”
“Do you even know who that is?”
“No, I just heard Seri say it,” Aquilla smiled over at her.
“Quill, what do you want?”
“You mean in a perfect world, a parallel universe?”
“Yeah, I guess so. What would make you happy?”
“Julius,” she answered with one word.
Monica knew that would be the answer before she ever asked. “Why? What is it about Julius that makes you so sure you would be happy with him?”
“Like I said, I’ve known him my whole life. I was always happy with him, well, maybe not always.”
“What do you mean? Let’s sit,” Monica offered with an open palm to the freshly mowed green grass.
“There was about a year that we couldn’t be around each other for five minutes without screaming at each other.”
“Why?”
Aquilla shrugged her shoulders again. She couldn’t believe that she was talking to her like she was. She had been telling herself for almost a week that she would be closed lipped and refuse, and here she was blabbering her whole life. What the fuck?
“I guess we were both fighting feelings that we were unsure of, trying to keep them in their place, afraid of what would happen if were around each other too much.”
“When did it change? How did it change?”
“I don’t know. I guess at my graduation and birthday party. I got drunk and Julius did some things while he thought I was passed out. I knew after that night that he did want me as much as I wanted him.”
“He did sexual things to you when he thought you were passed out?”
“No not really, but he was fighting hard with it. He helped me undress and slid my panties to the side. He didn’t touch me, well, not really. I did purposely move, trying to get him to, but he freaked out and left.”
“He never touched you until you were 18?”
“Nope, it was after my birthday before we ever did anything.”
“Is it love, Quill, or is it more like lust?”
Aquilla was biting her tongue as she pulled a hand full of grass from the ground. “That’s a really dumb question. Didn’t you see those guys looking at me when we walked over here? I’m pretty sure if I just wanted sex I could get it. What the hell are we talking about Julius for anyway? I thought you were supposed to help me accept my fucked up destiny.”
“I just want you to realize that there are lots of men out there that would treat you better than Julius did, and go to work at normal jobs, not training sex slaves or dealing drugs.”
“They weren’t sex slaves. They chose to be there. Nobody was ever forced to be there. And furthermore, I don’t want any other guys. I’m sure none of them could fuck like Julius.”
“That’s not true. How do you know if you insist on selling yourself short?”
“I don’t think I am selling myself short at all. Just ask Seri. She fucked him. She fucked him right in front of me.”
Aquilla smiled at the sudden stiff posture. She was sure that Seri hadn’t offered that information either. Seri was going to kill her.
“And you’re okay with that?” Monica asked.
“It was his job. He thought she was a chattel.”
Monica shook her head in disbelief. This girl was so Stockholm syndrome it was pathetic. She was going to be with this girl for months. She could feel it in her bones.
“Aquilla, they kidnapped you. They took you from a family that loves you very much. Are you not the least bit pissed about that?”
“Not really. And Julius was ten. Julius did not kidnap me. You don’t know my father. He may have done some bad things, and yes, he took me away from my family. I get that. However, he was always good to me. I loved him, and no matter what you or anyone else thinks, I will always be grateful for having him in my life.”
Monica got absolutely nowhere with her that day. She was tight and sticking to her guns. She wanted Julius and insisted that she was getting the hell out of there, first chance she got.
Chapter 13
Aquilla ate her vegetables and tried her best to be sociable while they ate outside at the picnic table. Her grandma and grandpa asked her questions about school, sports, grades, and anything else that they could think of. Word vomit. That’s all it was, and she wanted them to shut up.
Monica closed the bedroom door to Seri and Quill’s room when Seri went in to get clothes for a shower.