They read two whole pages about their sex together. Julius went into quite the detail, like he wanted her to remember it too.
“Jesus, Seri. I’m horny now,” Quill admitted.
Seri laughed. “Yeah, I could use that now too,” she agreed, reading the very explicit details of his and Quill’s sex life.
Aquilla sat up from her laying position when she started reading the last of Julius’s message to her.
“Quill, this is going to be as hard for me as it is you. I am presuming that if you are reading this, you are back in New York with your family. Quill, you belong there. I want you to promise me that you will make the best of your life there. Don’t spend your time trying to find me. I want you to find a man when you are ready that will always be there for you.
I need you to promise me, Quill. Don’t wait for me. I’m not looking for you. I’m letting you go. You deserve more than I am ever going to be able to give you. Be happy, Quill. Please, for me. I love you so much and you will always be my Quill, but I am done hurting you. I am done exposing you to the life that you don’t belong in.
I’ll never forget you, baby. Not as long as I live. You will always be my Quill. Please know that I am doing this for you. This is the single hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I love you, and I will never forget our time together. I will go to my grave loving you.
Goodbye, baby.
Aquilla hadn’t even realized that she was crying. He was letting her go? He wasn’t coming for her? He didn’t want her to find him? He said goodbye. Did he really just say goodbye to her? She suddenly felt like she had inherited her mother’s asthma. There was no air. She couldn’t breathe.
“Quill?” Seri tried, placing her hand between her shoulder blades.
Aquilla stood up and wiped her face with her shirt. “He doesn’t want me,” she sobbed.
“He didn’t say that. He wants you to have more.”
“Oh God, Seri, now what? I can’t stay here.”
“Quill, sit down.”
“No! I don’t want to sit down. I want out of here!” Quill wailed, with her head back screaming to the top of her lungs.
“Quill, stop it. You’re going to have the whole place over here,” Seri tried, coming to her feet.
Aquilla dropped to her knees and cried. She couldn’t help it. Her whole reason for existing was gone.
“What the hell happened?” Monica yelled with Liz, Reese, and her Aunt Kerri right behind them.
“Julius, we were talking about Julius,” Seri lied.
“Why? You’re not supposed to be talking to her about that stuff,” Monica yelled.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” Aquilla screamed when her mother tried to comfort her. “I have to get out of here. Seri, get me the fuck out of here!!!!” she screamed. She was crazy. She was hysterical.
Seri didn’t have a choice. She had to calm her down. She took her to the ground with flailing arms and legs. Quill gave up after a few moments and sobbed into the freshly mowed grass with Seri’s elbow holding her head down. Seri eased up and held her as Aquilla threw herself in her arms and cried.
Aquilla stayed locked away in her room for the entire day. She wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink and did nothing but stare into space, wishing her life was over. She couldn’t comprehend what was happening. She couldn’t comprehend the fact that Julius didn’t want her.
Seri had to spend 20 minutes lying to Monica about their conversation. Monica was pissed. She felt that they had made a lot of progress and Seri had ruined it. She would be back at square one with her.
Seri showered just before nine and joined her in the now dark room. “Go take a shower, Quill.”
“No.”
“What are you going to do, Quill? Are you just going to turn into a cocoon and wither away?”
“I hope so,” Aquilla replied and turned away from her.
“Go take a shower and I will burn one with you.”
Aquilla opened her eyes. Hmmm. She would like to do that. She sat up. “I don’t need a shower,” she said, but did want to smoke.
“Yes, you do. I’m not sleeping with you till you do. I’ll sleep on the couch, and I’m not smoking with you till you do. Go take a shower,” Seri demanded again.
“You’re such a bitch,” Aquilla blurted, grabbing clothes from her bag.
Seri was leaning against the headboard when Aquilla returned. She handed her the lighter and joint as she scooted beside her.
They never spoke while they passed the joint back and forth.
“What am I supposed to do, Seri?” Aquilla finally spoke after refusing the joint. She’d had enough.
“What do you want to do, Quill?”
“What I want doesn’t want me.”
“I don’t know how we read the same thing. That’s not what I heard at all. He’s letting you go because he loves you, Quill. He wants more for you,” Seri explained.
“Have you ever been in love, Seri?” Quill asked, turning to face her.
Seri thought for a second. “Nah, I don’t really do the love thing.”
“Why not? Don’t you want to find that one special person that you can’t live without?”
“No. I’m good in the love department.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, Quill. Monica says it’s a defense mechanism because I have lost so many people in my life that I loved. She says I have an array of shields covering me to keep from getting too close to anyone. I use men to my advantage.”
“For sex?”
“Yup,” Seri admitted. She knew she probably shouldn’t be disclosing this information to her. She needed guidance and direction.
“So you have sex on the first date?”
Seri snorted.
“What?”
“Nothing, Quill, we were talking about you, not me.”
“No. I want to know. I tell you everything. I even let you read about the things that Julius and I did. You have to tell me, Seri.”
“I don’t date either,” Seri honestly told her mater-of-factly.
“You don’t date, but you have sex with men? I don’t get it.”
“Look, Quill, I wouldn’t call myself normal in that department. I don’t date because I don’t want to know men on a personal basis, hell, I don’t even want to know their name.”
“You just want to fuck?”
“Yes. And don’t you dare tell Monica I confessed that to you. She is already furious with me because of your little meltdown earlier.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Just stay strong, Quill, I’ve never met anyone like you. You’ve got a lot going for you. You’ll find that special someone that you speak of. It doesn’t have to be Julius.”
Aquilla took a deep breath. She didn’t need that special someone. She would take Julius to her grave too. She wouldn’t love anyone like that, EVER. She’d be just like Seri. She would use them. That’s what she would do. Fuck…That would be her new love.
“What are you thinking about, Quill?”
“Nothing, you’re going to leave tomorrow.”
Seri smiled. “But I’m only a phone call away.”
“Are you still going to go after Julius?”
“I feel like Julius has somehow slipped through the cracks. He’s un-locatable.”
Aquilla laughed. “That is so not a word.”
“But it should be.
“Thanks, Seri, for everything. I can’t imagine going through this without you in my court. And even if I can be a bitch, I do appreciate all that you’ve done.”
“You’re welcome, Quill,” Seri smiled, sliding down into the covers. She hit Quill in the face with the extra pillow. “It was probably the orgasm, the fact that I brought you to your knees with a mind blowing orgasm,” she teased.
“Jesus, Seri. Stop doing that. You make me question my sexuality.”