"Ten downs down the road," he said, "have jsut declared war on Turia. A great hunt is on. They are looking for fellows from Turia."
"What for?" asked Petrucchio, alarmed.
"I am not sure," said Chino. "It was hard to make out, for all the shouting and the clashing of weapons. I think it was something about frying them in tarsk grease or boiling them alive in tharlarion oil, I am not really sure."
Petrucchio began to quake in terror.
"I see that you are trembling with military ardor," said Chino.
"Yes," Petrucchio assured him.
"You are welcome to come with us, of course," said Chino. "The warding off of bloodthirsty troops and maddened, hostile mobs, with bulging eyes, would be nothing for you."
"True," asserted Petrucchio, "but I am in spite of my fierce appearance sometimes a gentle fellow, one who is often hesitant to wreak broadcast massacre too impulsively, particularly on so balmy a day. Too, only this morning, as luck would have it, I cleansed my sword from my most recent slaughters and I am accordingly loath to immerse it so soon once more in baths of blood."
"You may actually spare, then, the maddened mobs and the town militias, the assembled soldiery of the district?"
"Perhaps," said Petrucchio.
"It is a lucky day for these lands then," said Chino.
"Dispose of the puddings," said Petrucchio. "I shall wait here."
"It may be difficult to make it back through the war zone," said Chino. "Too, it may be dangerous to remain here."
"Dangerous?" asked Petrucchio.
"Yes, for the mobs and soldiers," said Chino. "They are scouring the countryside, looking for Turians. If they should find you here, it would be too bad for them, even in all their numbers."
"Certainly, certainly," said Petrucchio, looking anxiously about himself. "What do you suggest?"
"I wonder what all that dust is over there," said Chino, looking off in one direction.
"I do not see any dust," said Petrucchio, anxiously.
"It was probably just my imagination," said Chino.
"Perhaps you could give me something now," said Petrucchio.
"We are very short on cash," said Chino.
"But you have the gold," said Petrucchio.
"You do not wish to be paid in false gold, or stolen gold, do you?" asked Chino, disbelievingly.
"No, of course not," said Petrucchio.
"Perhaps we could have a wager," said Chino, drawing out a coin. "Do you wish top or bottom?"
"Top," said Petrucchio.
Chino flipped the coin, looked at it, and tucked it back in his wallet. "Bottom," he said.
"I did not see the coin!" said Petrucchio.
"There," said Chino, fishing out the coin, and pointing to it. "Bottom," he said, indicating the coin's reverse.
"You're right," said Petrucchio, dismayed.
"Would you care for another wager?" asked Chino.
"Yes," said Petrucchio.
"I am thinking of a number between one and three," said Chino.
"Two!" cried Petrucchio.
"Sorry," said Chino. "I was thinking of two and seven eighths."
"Captain Petrucchio," cried Rowena. "May I speak!"
"Of course," said Petrucchio.
"Do not let these rascals trick you," she cried. "I assure you we are truly free women."
"Are you?" asked Petrucchio, now that he had lost he wagers apparently being willing to reconsider that matter.
"Yes," she cried. "Do not be beguiled by our brazenly bared flesh, our degrading positions, our neck chains, forced upon us by men!"
"I wonder," mused Petrucchio.
"You know the nature of Gorean masters," she said. "Do you think that if we were truly slaves, we would not be branded and collared? Gorean masters are not that permissive, not that indulgent, with their women!"
"You will soon learn, Lana," said Chino, "and more clearly and vividly than you can even now begin to imagine just how true that is."
She groaned.
"I am perplexed," Petrucchio informed the crowd. "Yet I think that I, as a soldier, must be prepared to take prompt and decisive action." He then turned to Chino and Lecchio. "Hold, rogues!" he cried. "I suspect chicanery here, for which I intend you shall sorely answer. Tremble! Shudder! Quake in terror, for I, Petruccio, draw upon you!" He then began to try to pull his great wooden sword from its lengthy sheath, dragging behind him. As was not unoften the case it seemed to be stuck. Chino, and then Lecchio, too, helped Petruccio, bit by bit, to free that mighty wooden blade. "Thank you," said Petrucchio. "You are welcome," said Chino and Lecchio.
"Now, craven sleen," cried Petrucchio, flourishing that great blade, freed at last of its housing, "be off!"
"Very well," said Chino. "Come along, girls."
"Hold!" cried Petrucchio.
"Yes?" asked Chino.
"Surrender to me these poor wronged women!"
"Wronged women?" asked Chino.
"These are not slaves," cried Petruccio. "They are free women!"
"But all women are slaves," said Chino. "It is only that some lack the collar and brand."
"Save us!" cried Rowena.
"They are not yet legal slaves!" said Petrucchio.
"Even if they are not yet legal slaves, for the sake of argument," said Chino, "that detail can be rectified by sundown."
"Surrender them to me," demanded Petruccio, grimly, resting the point of that sword on the platform, its hilt now, in his hand, over his head. With his other hand he characteristically twirled a mustache. "If you surrender them promptly, without a fight, I may be tempted to spare your miserable lives."
"That sounds fair," said Lecchio.
"We would be happy to surrender them," said Chino, paying his partner no attention.
"Good," said Petrucchio, transferring his sword to his left hand, that he might now twirl his mustache with his right hand.
"But unfortunately," continued Chino, "we cannot, according to our caste codes, do so without a fight."
"What?" asked Petrucchio, paling.
"I am very sorry," said Chino, "but the codes of cloth workers are very strict on such matters."
"Oh? asked Petrucchio, wavering.
"Yes," said Chino. "I am very sorry, but we must engage now, it seems, in a blood melee."
"Are you sure?" asked Petrucchio.
"Yes," said Chino. "But do not blame me. It is not my fault. You know how uncompromising the codes are."
"Do we have enough combatants on hand for a melee?" asked Petrucchio.
"Doubtless much depends upon definitions," said Chino, "but we must make do as best we can."
"I really do not think we can muster the numbers necessary for a genuine melee," insisted Petruccio.
"Then," said Chino, "we must substitute a duel to the death."
"To the-death?" inquired Petruccio.
"Yes, I am afraid so," said Chino. "It seems that only one of us can leave the field alive."
"Only one?" asked Petrucchio.
"Yes," said Chino.
"That is not very many," said Petruccio.
"True," granted Chino.
"But you have no weapons," said Petrucchio.
"There you are mistaken," said Chino.
"I am?" inquired Petruccio, anxiously.
"Yes," said Chino, drawing forth from his pack a large pair of cloth-workers shears.
"What are those?" asked Petruccio, alarmed.
"Fearsome engines of destruction," said Chino, "the dreaded paired blades of Anango. I have never yet lost a fight to the death with them." At this point he snipped the air in his vicinity twice, neatly. "Though to be sure," he said, moodily, "I suppose there could always be a first time. There is seldom a second in such matters."
"The sun glints hideously from their flashing surfaces," said Petrucchio.