Next I went for the drawers, pulling them out of the dresser completely and holding them upside down to dump the contents of each into my suitcase. My undergarments spilled out, only half of them actually landing in the suitcase. The rest had fallen every which way and some even ended up on the floor. But I didn’t have time to stop and pick them up. I closed the lid and zipped it up.
Reaching under the bed, I slid out a small black tote and threw the strap over my shoulder. The new identity inside would get me out of the country and the cash I’d stockpiled would keep me on the move until I found a good place to hide. I lifted the suitcase from the bed and headed to the kitchen, where my keys still sat on the counter. Just as I reached for them, a knock sounded at the door. My heart stopped and my stomach dropped. Setting my bags down quietly, I tiptoed to the door and peered out through the peephole.
Oh, no.
Cowboy stood on the other side of the door with a smile on his face. My body surged with guilt and remorse. I hadn’t planned to tell anyone—including him—I was leaving. Not even when my six months were up, and certainly not now when my time had run out early.
After a few moments, his smiled disappeared and he knocked again. Harder this time. I couldn’t pretend like I wasn’t home. Surely, he had noticed my car in the driveway. But I couldn’t bring myself to open the door, either, even when he banged on it a third time.
“Anna, I know you’re in there. I can hear you breathing.”
Figures.
I lowered my head, thunking it against the door as I let out a slow calming breath. All the running around I’d done had put my respirations in overdrive, and even though I was only softly panting, apparently it was audible. But I needed to get it under control if I were to face Cowboy without alarming him. I held my head up high, pushed a loose strand of my hair out of my eyes, and opened the door a few inches.
“Hi,” I greeted cheerily, straining to keep my voice from cracking. He started to move forward, as if he were going to come inside, but I held my position and barred his entry. “I’m sorry, Cowboy. I’m going to have to cancel on you tonight. Something sort of came up.”
I thought I’d done a great job keeping my tone controlled and light, but apparently it wasn’t enough. He raised one eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’ve just been rushing around like a mad woman trying to get some stuff done. I had a busy day at the library and have things to take care of.”
“What’s this? You brushing me off?”
I shook my head. “No, I just…” Eager to escape the way he was looking at me, I tried to hurry the conversation along. “Look, I’m feeling a little strange about what happened between us and I need some time to process it all. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“No, it’s not fucking okay.” He scowled. “If this is your way of sending me packing, then I want to know why.”
“I don’t want to talk right now. I just want to—hey!”
Without my permission, he shoved open the door and stepped over the threshold. His eyes took in the disheveled room until they finally zeroed in on the luggage I’d placed on the floor next to the kitchen counter. His green eyes flashed to me, but his expression was unreadable. “Going somewhere?”
“I…” My heart thumped against my rib cage. “Yes, I’m leaving town.”
“You weren’t even going to tell me?”
I cringed at the harshness of his tone. “No.”
His mouth settled into a disapproving, grim line. “Why?”
“This is all happening too fast. You and me. I told you before we were too different. Our relationship is based solely on sex and I don’t want—”
“Stop it, Anna. If you’re going to stand here and give me a line of bullshit, then don’t bother. This has nothing to do with us and you know it. So either tell me the truth or don’t waste my fucking time.”
“I…I don’t want this, okay?” My voice warbled unconvincingly. God, I was such a bad liar. “I only want to be left alone to live my life as I see fit. I don’t need the complication of a relationship.” At least that part was true, but I knew it would take more than that to make him leave. “You’re never going to be anything more than a playboy and I refuse to be another Kelly Deter.”
“Kelly Deter? Who the hell is… Wait, the girl from camp?”
At least my eye roll was genuine. “I’m surprised you even remember her name at all.”
“Well, why wouldn’t I? She’s the bitch who told everyone that she and I slept together the night of the bonfire. All I’d done was ask her out. I hadn’t laid a finger on her. The next day, when I found out she spread the rumor among the other counselors, I called the whole thing off.”
“But you weren’t at the bonfire,” I said, shaking my head furiously. “I didn’t see you there.”
“I was on my way when I heard a commotion and ran to see what happened. I thought one of the kids had gotten hurt, but it was you. You were lying on the ground with all the kids standing around you as one of the other female counselors yelled for help. I picked you up and carried you to the nurse’s station, then waited outside until I heard you were going to be okay. They’d told me you had a panic attack and fainted.”
“Y-you carried me…” My heart squeezed and my eyes filled with blinding tears. I turned away from him. “I never knew. By the next morning, word had gotten around about what had happened and a few of the other counselors had started calling me ‘Sparky.’ I didn’t want to be reminded of how I’d panicked and fainted in front of everyone when they’d lit the bonfire, so I packed my things and left.”
“I know. I went to see you the following night to make sure you were okay, but Bobbie Jo told me you were already gone.” He paused, then his tone laced with anger. “Guess that’s what you do, though. You leave without saying good-bye.”
I swallowed hard.
“Take care of yourself,” he said solemnly. His boots clomped on the floor, the sound growing softer with distance as he made his way to the door.
Tears leaked down my face. I knew if I spoke again my shaky voice would tell him everything he needed to know. But despite everything I’d said, I wanted him. Now more than ever. He’d given me his trust. Maybe it was about time I did the same.
“I’m not,” I whispered.
He must’ve stopped at the door because suddenly I couldn’t hear his footfalls anymore. “Not what?”
It was a pivotal moment, dependent entirely on what words came out of my mouth next. Because if things went wrong… But I couldn’t bear to let him think he hadn’t been good enough for me. Even a guy with Cowboy’s reputation deserved better than that. “I-I’m not okay.”
“Anna…?” His voice registered concern.
I walked over to the counter and picked up the letter, not sure if I was doing the right thing. But now that I’d set the ball in motion, I couldn’t seem to stop it. I turned and moved slowly toward him, clenching the letter tightly in my grip. Once he knew everything, there would be no going back.
His eyes flickered with confusion as I handed him the letter. “Who’s it from? The Barlows?”
“Read it.”
He did as I asked and then glanced up at me. “Is this who you’re running from?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re afraid he might come after you?”
“I know he’ll come after me. He always has. Even in my dreams he won’t rest until he finds me.”
Cowboy’s eyes darkened with fury. “You know I won’t let him hurt you, don’t you?”
“That’s the thing. You won’t be able to stop him. No one can.”
“Who is he?” he demanded. “Your ex-boyfriend or something?”
“No. H-he’s my father.”
Cowboy’s eyes widened. “Why would your own father try to kill you?”
“Because my testimony is what kept him in prison for the past twenty-two years. He murdered my mother.”