I found it strange he wanted to stay, but could tell he had something on his mind. Once the others cleared the room, I gazed over at him. He seemed to be calmly mulling something over in his head. Everything had happened so fast after he’d arrived I hadn’t even mentioned anything to him about Chief Swanson. “I’m sorry about your brother.”
He nodded a thank you.
“I met him once…a long time ago. In Houston, where I lived with my mom. He pulled me out of a fire. I was only six at the time.”
Ned grinned at that. “I know. You’re Anna Weber.”
My eyes widened. “Y-yes,” I replied, confusion lighting my voice. “How did you—”
“Ted told me about you years ago. He was a rookie back then, fresh out of training, and you were the first person he’d ever saved. Said it made him feel like a hero.”
“He was a hero.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.” He ran a hand over his wry face. “But he was also a jackass.”
I glanced over at him, not sure how to respond to that.
He grinned in amusement at my blank expression. “I know that sounds heartless, especially coming from his twin brother who just found out he died. But that’s not the way I remember him.” He shook his head. “Ted may have been a hero to you, and probably many others, I’m sure…but, to me, he was a wife-stealing, no-good sonofabitch.”
“You mean, Janet?”
He lowered his head as the pain smeared across his face. “We were married only a few short months when I caught them together. She was the only woman I ever loved. And I guess Ted must’ve loved her, too, since he was willing to forgo our family ties to be with her.” He raised his head and his eyes narrowed. “But I didn’t know that dumbass was going to end up cheating on her with that…monster of a woman.”
His reference to Mandy made me cringe, but I remembered things Cowboy told me and wanted to be completely honest with him. “I don’t know for sure, but from what I heard, the affair started after Janet left. Technically, Janet and Chief…er, I mean Ted, were still married, I guess, but when she came back into the picture and they got back together, he must’ve told Mandy it was over between them.”
“And that’s what drove her insane? Crazy enough to kill two people?”
I shrugged. “It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
Ned sighed and pulled an envelope from his pocket. “After I got the message from your boyfriend, I had to know what this letter said.”
He held it out and motioned for me to take it. I did, though I wasn’t sure why he was showing it to me. I slipped the paper out and unfolded it to read the chief’s final words to his brother.
I may have been a hero once, but I haven’t done a heroic thing since. I’m sorry about Janet. I didn’t deserve her.
“My brother is…was a damn fool. When it came to women, he was always playing with fire.”
After Ned left, I laid my head back and allowed my eyes to drift closed. The others hadn’t returned from the cafeteria and the nurse said it would be a while before they moved Cowboy to a room. But as sleep claimed my tired body, I became restless and hyper-aware that my tangible surroundings had changed, morphing into something that resembled a young girl’s bedroom.
It was dark.
A door creaked open, and then closed again, followed by the light sounds of slow breathing and the soft padding of bare feet across the wooden floor. I cringed, knowing what was coming next. It was always the same thing.
When the scratching started, I tried to hide under the covers only to have them ripped away from me. Whimpering, I drew myself into a ball and wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my face into my knees.
I didn’t want to look up, afraid of what I’d see: the thing that scared me the most. But I did anyway because, deep down, I knew the scratching wouldn’t stop until I saw the explosion with my own eyes. It happened so often, almost nightly…and still, I was afraid.
This time, the scratching sounded only twice when the light burst in front of me, temporarily blinding me to anything else. The overwhelming sulfuric odor filled my nostrils and made me gag. But this time, something was different. As I jerked away from the fire, my consciousness returned to my body and my limbs stiffened from the vision.
It felt like a dream. The same one I’d had for years. But this time everything had been much clearer. Maybe it was because my subconscious was paying attention. As if a fog had been lifted.
That’s when I realized that it wasn’t a dream at all. It was a deeply embedded memory. One where I was five years old and witnessed matches being lit in front of my face while I tried to go to sleep.
Normally, I couldn’t see the person’s face, only knew they were there. The horrendous monster who would torture a scared little girl in her pink canopy bed. But this time was different. I recalled all the times that this very incident had happened to me, recollections I’d apparently blocked to keep myself from the pain of seeing the face of my tormentor.
But this time, I opened my eyes. And with that one innocent look, horrific, deep-seated memories rushed back to me at once. Memories a little girl had blocked to save her sanity. But as an adult, she’d never be able to push them back again.
As I opened my eyes, the haze cleared. A figure moved across the room and sat in the chair beside my hospital bed. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”
Recognizing the voice immediately, my body stiffened. I slammed my eyelids closed and clenched my jaw, not knowing what to say.
“Don’t be afraid, baby girl. I’m not going to hurt you.” My heart squeezed at the term of endearment I remembered from my youth, but I didn’t respond. “Your friends are just outside the door. I asked them if I could speak to you alone.”
I blinked several times to clear the fogginess in my eyes, but wouldn’t allow my gaze to meet his directly. “And I guess they were okay with it…since you’re here?”
“Not really. Two of them patted me down to make sure I wasn’t armed, while the other did a federal background check on me. Once they realized I wasn’t here to harm you, they let me in. You’ve got protective friends. I like that.”
I didn’t respond. Instead, I concentrated on pushing away the blinding pain and anger in my heart that waged war on the memories of my mother.
“I’m sorry I scared you the night you caught me standing outside your house. I wanted to talk to you then, but I was afraid if you knew it was me, you would run before I had a chance to explain.”
I sighed. “Explain what? What do you want, Stuart?”
He winced a little at the use of his first name. “For you to finally know the truth.”
I squeezed my eyes shut tight to keep out the images that tried to squirm their way back inside my mind and released a ragged breath. The face I’d seen behind the match replayed over and over in my head like an eternal loop. “I…I already know the truth.”
“No, that’s the thing, honey. You’ve never known the truth about what happened that day. But that’s my fault. I was only trying to protect you. But you’re twenty-eight years old now. I think it’s time you found out and got the answers you deserve.”
Something landed in my lap and I opened my eyes. It was a thick, leather-bound journal, filled with tattered pages. “Look through this,” he said, his voice wavering.
Hesitantly, I put my hand on it. “What’s in it?”
“An explanation. Letters I wrote to you that I never mailed. Notes on things you can research. Other crucial pieces of information that will convince you I’m not the monster you think I am. My cell number is written on the inside. After you look through it, I’m sure you’ll have questions. Even if you don’t, but just want to talk, I’m here.” He headed for the door, but turned back as he reached it. “I’m not going to push you, Anna. You’re a smart girl. You know the truth about what happened.” He smiled lightly. “I’m glad you’re okay, baby girl.”
Then he disappeared.
I lifted the journal and heaved it across the room. Papers fell out, fluttering to the floor. I didn’t need to read the contents of that damn journal to know what was in it. It wouldn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. And it wasn’t something I’d soon forget, since I had the physical and mental scars to remind me daily what had happened.