—Capital Confessions blog
Blair
I stared at the screen, regretting the decision to create an email alert to let me know anytime my last name was mentioned. Thanks to Capital Confessions, it was becoming an increasingly frequent occurrence. Especially, where my father was concerned.
I hadn’t heard from either one of my parents since my phone call with my mother, so I had no clue how much of the stuff was even true, but he was definitely in the blog’s crosshairs. Whatever my father had expected, it appeared that his reelection had bought him a heap of trouble.
My phone lit up with an incoming text message.
Want to ride to the Thanksgiving dinner together?
My heartbeat picked up as I read his name above the text. I hadn’t seen Gray since the basketball day, also known as the day I discovered that he had ink on his bicep and an even better body than I’d imagined under his suit.
How did you get my number? I texted back.
He’d put his number in my phone weeks ago, but I definitely hadn’t done the same.
Class roster.
My lips curved. Why was I not surprised?
Is that really appropriate?
My screen lit up again. I think appropriate went out the window a long time ago. You in?
And then my phone lit up again and my mouth went dry.
This is me getting off the fence.
Oh my god.
I wasn’t sure if we were talking about riding together or being inappropriate together, but either way at the words, This is me getting off the fence, my answer was the same.
Yes.
Times one million. Plus one.
Where are you? he texted me.
Library.
I sent him the location of my study carrel, the small corner of the law library that had become my private haven.
My phone lit up again.
Be there in a few.
We were supposed to be at the middle school in two hours and I was still catching up on outlines for my con law final. The preferred method of studying for finals was to create mammoth outlines based on everything we’d learned in the course. The idea was that creating the outlines themselves would be an effective study aid, in addition to the time spent studying them.
At this point, I was seventy pages into what would likely be nearly a one-hundred-page outline, and I had no clue how I was even going to finish it, much less find time to study. Not to mention my three other exams. Luckily, legal research and writing had been a series of assignments that we’d turned in during the year. I couldn’t imagine adding another three-hour exam to my plate.
I pulled my hair back in a tie I found at the bottom of my bag, belatedly wishing I’d worn something other than my ratty Hannover Law T-shirt and jeans. And then the moment passed. I probably would have cared more a few months ago, but this was the height of law school mania, and there were only so many fucks I could give.
A few minutes later, Gray tapped on the door to my carrel. I let him in, not sure if I was more glad to see him or the two cups of coffee he held.
My heart moved a little closer on the falling-in-love meter as the smell of pumpkin spice hit me.
Gray peered around me, his eyes wide, and then he looked back and grinned at me. “Now this is a familiar sight.”
It wasn’t pretty. The desk in my carrel was covered in different colored highlighters, my con law book, the stupid supplement that I’d decided I needed another supplement just to understand, my laptop, and a mess of papers. I was normally a neat person, but I’d descended into exam chaos. Thank god I’d thrown away the box from the pizza I’d ordered earlier. This place was a step away from a sty.
I shot him a pleading look. “Kill me. Just kill me now. At this point, I want to be put out of my misery.”
He chuckled, his eyes going soft, his voice a husky purr. “Come here.”
He took my coffee out of my hands, setting both cups on the only available space on my desk.
Before I realized what he intended, he’d wrapped his arms around me, tucking me against his body. I stiffened for a moment, surprised by the contact, trying to remember if I’d forgotten to put on deodorant this morning.
Shit.
“Relax,” Gray whispered, his hand stroking my hair.
I felt disgusting after a day spent hibernating in the library like a hermit. Of course, he looked gorgeous in a green sweater and dark jeans, smelling faintly of cedar and spice.
He held me against him, his body propping me up in the face of the exhaustion seeping through my bones. He kissed the top of my head, his arms tightening around me. I relaxed. He didn’t talk, didn’t do anything but let me lean on him.
His heart beat against my cheek, the steady thump lulling me into a deeper sense of calm. My lips brushed against his shirt, fighting the urge to press against the beat there.
I lost.
His chest jerked as I put my mouth to it, his cotton sweater between my lips and his heart. He shuddered. I waited for him to move away, wondering if I’d pushed things too far, too fast. His arm came around me, holding me tighter, crushing me against his body.
Minutes passed while we stood like that, and then we both seemed to pull back at the same time, and his hand threaded through my hair, massaging my scalp, and his head bent, his mouth meeting me halfway, his lips pressing against mine softly, his mouth coaxing me to open.
It was a completely different kiss from all the ones we’d shared before. It was soft, slow, lazy. It was sweet. He kissed me like he knew I didn’t have it in me for passion, that I needed his easy caress to soothe my frazzled parts.
It was the best kind of kiss—the one I needed—and my heart tumbled even further in love.
Gray
She looked like she could barely stand. I remembered those days, the feeling that you’d pushed your ability to exist on limited sleep and junk food to the brink. The feeling that your mind couldn’t possibly expand to accommodate one more piece of information.
I’d brought the coffee because I’d figured she needed it. The kiss had been a bonus. A big one.
I kissed her with all of the softness I had inside me—whatever little amount was left or had ever existed at all—giving her all the feelings that had come rushing through me the second she’d touched her mouth to my heart. Each time I saw her, she gifted me something new, some part of herself that I wanted to protect.
Each time I saw her she pulled me deeper.
I released her, grabbing the coffee off the desk and handing it back to her, my fingers linking with hers for a moment.
A smile played at her lips.
“Caffeine and kisses, huh? Is that the secret to getting through your first semester of law school finals?”
I grinned. Even rumpled and exhausted, she looked adorable. Her face was free of makeup, her hair in a messy bun, her clothes more casual than any I’d seen her wear, and she still looked stunning.
“Best method I could think of.” I gave her the rest, because I didn’t want to keep screwing with her head. She’d accused me of being afraid of going after what I wanted, and she hadn’t been wrong.
Not anymore.
The semester was almost over, and then she wouldn’t be my student anymore. Maybe I didn’t deserve her, but I couldn’t pass up a chance to have her.
“I want to see where this goes.”
Blair blinked. “Where what goes?”
“Us.”
“So getting off the fence means you want to date.”
“I want a chance with you. I wish we’d met differently, wish we could date like normal people, but obviously things are complicated. For the sake of your law school career and my job, I think we should keep things quiet for a while.”