Blane didn’t follow me, which I thought was a good thing overall, though I fiercely missed his presence and my body craved his touch.
I lay under the covers and stared out the window for hours, unable to sleep, until the room was flooded with early sunlight. I dreaded facing Blane and had no idea what I was going to say to him—or why he’d done what he had. I’d told him how I felt, that he and I were over. Did he think we’d work it out now that Kade was out of the picture? Is that what I wanted?
I loved Blane and I wasn’t going to kid myself into thinking that we couldn’t have what we’d once had, given enough time. He was a good man—a decent, honorable man—who loved me. We’d had our problems, but if last night was any indication, I had it in me to fall back in love with him.
But I was having a baby . . . and it wasn’t Blane’s. That changed everything.
Once I was dressed and as ready to face Blane as I’d ever be, I headed downstairs. As I’d expected, he was in the den. He looked up when I cautiously knocked on the partially open door.
“Come in,” he said, beckoning me. He was dressed in jeans that hugged his hips and a steel-gray button-down shirt that matched his eyes. The cuffs were turned back and his hair was still slightly damp from the shower. “We need to talk,” he said.
I bit my lower lip, my knees practically knocking together. Was he mad at me?
“I’m really sorry,” I managed. “About last night—”
“This isn’t about that,” Blane interrupted. “Well, maybe it is, but not directly.”
“Okay.” My nerves started jangling at that. God, what else did he have to tell me? Had Kade called? Based on Blane’s tone, whatever he had to say couldn’t be good. “Then what do you want to talk about?” I asked.
“The future,” he said simply.
My breath caught and my eyes widened. I couldn’t do this right now. I’d just gotten my equilibrium back yesterday, after my panic attack. If I started thinking about everything, I might fall to pieces again—and I didn’t want Blane to see me like that. It was bad enough that he’d already seen me fall apart more than once.
“I don’t know—”
“Just hear me out,” Blane interrupted. “I know you’re worried. I know you’re scared. But you don’t have to be.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” I replied softly.
“Kade didn’t leave you empty-handed,” he said.
I frowned and my stomach lurched. “What do you mean? Have you heard from him?”
“No, but he left this for you.” Blane slipped his hand into his jeans pocket. He removed a piece of paper and handed it to me. It had a bunch of numbers scrawled on it.
“What’s this?” I asked, confused.
“It’s the number of an account in Cayman National, a bank in Grand Cayman. It’s your account now. I checked it. Kade put ten million dollars in it for you.”
I nearly choked, shock hitting me hard. I stared at Blane, my jaw agape.
“He didn’t want you to have to worry about money,” Blane continued.
The ache in my chest was back, slicing through wounds that had only just stopped bleeding. Kade would give me a fortune, money he’d sold his soul to acquire, but he wouldn’t give me himself.
“So, I guess that’s the Kade-equivalent of leaving some money on the bedside table.” Bitterness edged my voice. “I don’t want his money.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Blane said. “You need it. The baby needs it.”
That shut me up. I’d been trying not to think of that word. Baby. It was easier, less personal, for me to just think pregnant.
“Oh God.” I sank onto the sofa, my elbows resting on my thighs as I covered my face. I couldn’t look at him. Kade’s acceptance had helped me hold my head up when I’d had to tell Blane. But his leaving had me feeling ashamed. Embarrassed. Rejected.
“Hey,” Blane said softly, prying my hands away from my face. “I told you that you’re not alone, and I meant it.”
I made myself look at him.
“I love you, and this baby shares my blood, too.” His hand lifted to cup my cheek. “Stay with me. Marry me. You loved me once, you can love me again. I promise that I will never leave you. We’ll be together. Always.”
I was speechless. The enormity of what Blane was offering overwhelmed me. Safety. Security. His name. His love.
Blane slowly leaned forward, his gaze dropping. I had plenty of time to move away, but I didn’t. His mouth met mine with a tender reverence that made my heart skip a beat. His lips moved coaxingly and his tongue softly brushed mine. His hands curved around the back of my neck, his fingers buried in my hair.
I pulled back, my emotions chaotic and my thoughts in a turmoil.
“I made a promise to Kade,” Blane said, resting his forehead against mine. “When he was shot. I promised that if something happened to him, I’d take care of you. And I want to. God, I want to.”
I jerked away, my eyes wide. “You made a promise?” I repeated in disbelief.
I stood and started pacing. “Don’t you see how messed up this is?” I asked, an edge of hysteria in my voice. I gripped the sides of my head in frustration.
“Why is my making a promise so ‘messed up’?” Blane had risen, and he approached me without making a sound.
“I don’t believe you, Blane,” I said baldly. “I can’t.”
“You don’t believe that I love you?” Blane’s expression was forbidding, his jaw clenched tight. “You think I’d say that to just anyone?”
“Blane, your sense of duty, of honor, is such that I wonder if you even know if you really love me,” I said sadly. “And I can’t do this anymore, to either of us.”
“What do you mean?” he rasped.
“I can’t hurt you like this!” I cried, tears streaming unheeded from my eyes. “I’m in love with Kade. I’m having his baby. You don’t deserve that! And my staying around is only going to hold you back.”
He stiffened, his eyes narrowing. “What do you mean?”
The words were nearly impossible to get out. “I mean I’ve got to let you go.”
Blane said nothing, but his face grew pale.
“It’s not fair to you,” I managed to say through my tears, “for me to keep holding on, keep needing you. You have to get on with your life.” I swallowed. “And so do I.”
I turned away, moving to grab my purse, but Blane was there in an instant, blocking me. His hands pressed against my cheeks, his fingers tangled in my hair as he forced me to look at him.
“Don’t go,” he said desperately. “Please—” His voice broke. “Kat, I’ve never begged a woman. Ever. But I’m begging you. Stay. For me. Please stay.” Blane’s eyes were a brilliant green.
“You’re a good man, Blane Kirk,” I whispered through my tears. “You mean so much to me. Which is why I can’t.” I placed my hand over his, turning my face to press my lips against his palm.
This time, he didn’t try to stop me when I turned and walked out the door.
Driving away from Blane’s house was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, and tears I couldn’t control blurred the streets as I drove. Everything in me screamed for me to turn around and go back to Blane, but I knew I couldn’t.
Somehow, I made it home. I was fumbling with my keys to unlock my door when Alisha’s door flew open.
“Kathleen! I’ve been so worried!” She launched herself at me, wrapping me in a huge hug.
“I’m sorry,” I said, hugging her back. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”