Matt gave a curt nod, then headed back to his truck. I shut the door with a sigh. Not exactly the impression I’d wanted to give Matt, but it couldn’t be helped. Now to deal with Kade.
I decided I needed coffee before I took on the task of dislodging Kade from my home, and bypassed him as I moved into the kitchen and filled a mug for myself.
“Did you sleep all right?” I asked, thinking how weird it was to be making small talk with Kade and trying not to stare at his bare chest. My hormones started jumping up and down again when I caught a whiff of his aftershave.
“Sure,” Kade replied, his tone noncommittal.
And that was it for small talk. Deciding I needed some fresh air, I grabbed a blanket off the couch and went out onto the back porch. I loved sitting out there in the mornings. It was quiet and I could be outside without having to deal with the bugs. I sat down on the wicker couch, which had seen better days, tucking my feet beneath me and covering my legs with the blanket. The morning was a little chilly.
To my surprise, Kade stepped out, too, pulling a gray Henley over his head. I watched the muscles in his chest move as he dressed, briefly mourning the loss of the view, then he was taking the seat beside me. I inhaled deeply, but tried not to make it too obvious that I was smelling him, which would just be mortifying if he knew.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
I shook my head, blowing on my coffee to cool it before I took a sip. “Not right now. I’ll make something in a little while, if you want.”
Two squirrels were gathering nuts in the yard, chattering away at one another as they scampered up one of the trees. Birds were twittering overhead and a slight breeze made the leaves rustle. It was a beautiful, peaceful country morning, and I was acutely aware of Kade sitting so close that my arm brushed his when I raised my mug to my lips.
“Why did you come here?” Kade asked.
I watched the squirrels as I answered. “It seemed like the right thing to do. If I’d stayed in Indy, it wouldn’t have been fair to Blane. Both of us needed to move on. I know people here, have a history here. I thought it’d be a good place to raise—” The words our baby stuck in my throat. I swallowed, then took another sip of coffee.
“So let me ask you now,” I said after a moment. “Why did you come here?”
Kade breathed a sigh, reaching an arm back to rest on the back of the couch. His sleeve brushed the back of my neck, causing the hairs there to stand on end. I was so acutely aware of him, it was almost painful.
“To talk you into marrying Blane.”
Well, at least he was being honest, though I couldn’t pretend those words didn’t bring a lump to my throat. He’d rather me marry Blane, have our child raised by his brother, than be with me himself?
When I knew I could talk without my voice breaking, I said, “So is that why you were being such an asshole to me last night in the bar?” Kade didn’t respond, which I took to mean I’d guessed correctly. I should’ve known. He’d always been nastiest to me when he was trying to push me away. I gave a weary sigh. “There’s nothing you can say.”
“How about if I told you that Keaston’s likely to kill you if you don’t?”
Senator Keaston. I should’ve known I hadn’t heard the last of him.
“He should be happy,” I said. “I’m out of Blane’s life for good. You’d think he’d be ecstatic.”
“Not if he thinks you’re carrying Blane’s child.”
That made me jerk my head around to look at Kade. His gaze met mine, with his black lashes so thick and his eyes such a beautiful blue, it made me want to drown in them. I pushed the thought aside.
“And why would he think that?” I asked.
Kade just looked at me.
“But it’s been months since Blane and I . . . I mean, you and me happened after . . .” This was getting awkward. “Did you tell him the truth?” I asked instead.
“Nope.”
“Why in the world not?”
“Because you and me should never have happened,” Kade said firmly. “It was a mistake.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. If Kade had slapped me, it would’ve hurt less. The look on my face must have betrayed my dismay, because Kade cursed. I barely noticed as he took the coffee cup from my trembling hand and set it aside.
“How can you say that?” I managed, my voice a near whisper.
“Because I am the absolute worst thing for you,” Kade replied. His voice was harsh with bitterness and anger, but it wasn’t directed at me. “I’m the stuff nightmares are made of, princess. I’m not the kind of man who gets the girl. We both know that.”
Of course. Kade and his damn inferiority complex when it came to him and Blane.
“I’m not a machine,” I said. “You can’t just tell me how to feel and expect me to obey. I’m not going back to Blane. It’s not fair to him, or to me, or to our child.” I got to my feet. “So you’re wasting your time. You can stay for breakfast, if you want, or leave now if you’d rather. But I’m not going anywhere, no matter what Keaston does. I have a gun, and I know how to use it, so he’d better think twice before sending someone after me. This is my home and if he wants me dead, he’ll have to come do it himself.”
I didn’t give Kade a chance to respond, just walked past him into the house. My stomach was growling and based on the limited experience I’d had so far, I needed to eat right away while I was hungry.
Grabbing eggs and a packet of bacon from the fridge, I loaded some bacon on a cookie sheet into the cold oven, then turned it on. While that started cooking, I scrambled several eggs in a bowl, adding a little half-and-half to make them creamier.
Kade walked in while the frying pan was heating, so I decided to treat him the way I would any other friend by asking him to hand me the loaf of bread from the cabinet.
I poured another cup of coffee and sipped it while I slowly stirred the eggs in the hot pan. Kade put a few pieces of bread in the toaster and searched the cabinets for plates. We didn’t speak as the food cooked, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. I was trying real hard not to think about him leaving, or what he’d said to me. I’d wait until later to dwell on it and have another crying jag.
The aroma of bacon filled the kitchen as I pulled the cookie sheet from the oven. I scooped the scrambled eggs onto two plates, added liberal portions of bacon, and snagged the toast when it popped up. I set the plates and a couple of napkins on the table, then grabbed two forks.
Some things just taste better when you’re pregnant, I’d realized, and bacon was one of them. I’d taken to buying it in bulk, since it was a protein my stomach didn’t seem to mind. Whereas beef was a definite no-go.
With food in front of me, my hormones took a backseat, and I made short work of the meal. I was buttering my toast when Kade caught my eye. He was watching me.
“What?” I asked, immediately self-conscious. “Do I have something on my face?” I picked up my napkin and wiped my mouth again, just to be sure there weren’t some lingering crumbs.
Kade shook his head. “It’s good to see you eating again—that’s all.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just finished off my toast. He must’ve been hungry, too, because his plate was also clear.
He helped me clean up, bringing dishes to me to load into the dishwasher. It was too quick, and then breakfast was over.
I stood, my back pressed against the counter, twisting a dish towel in my hands. I was determined not to cry. This was what he wanted and there was nothing I could do or say to change it, just as there was nothing he could do or say to make me marry Blane.
It was a sad way to end things. No one, except maybe Kade, had gotten what they wanted. There was no happily-ever-after, for any of us. Kade had been right after all.