“So what made you decide to trust him?” I asked. “Did it just take time or did something happen?”
“He almost got himself killed because of me,” Kade answered, “and he didn’t have to. He could’ve just let it go, let me go, but he didn’t.”
Kade didn’t offer any more to the story and I didn’t ask, only nodded. I wasn’t surprised. Blane was a good man. I looked back down at the picture. “So why don’t you two hug more?” I asked idly, my thoughts still dwelling on what Blane had gone through to reach Kade.
“I don’t like guys touching me.”
Kade’s answer surprised me, as was the vehemence with which he’d said it, and I glanced up at him. His expression was utterly blank.
“It’s creepy,” he added with a dismissive shrug.
And I suddenly realized what Kade would probably never tell me, what had most likely happened to him when he was young that had made him so averse to men touching him.
I felt the blood leave my face and I looked away, hurriedly standing to replace the picture on the shelf, my hands trembling slightly. Tears blurred my vision and I quickly blinked them back. I knew Kade. Any sign of pity would not be welcome, nor would he want to know that I’d guessed what he hadn’t said.
I bought some time to regain my composure by drifting around the room some more, studying knickknacks here and there, probably placed by Mona, and a stack of magazines. I smiled a little. Some men might have a pile of Playboys; Kade had a hoard of techie publications.
“I’m hungry,” Kade said, getting up. “You want anything?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m good. I think I’ll just take a shower.”
Kade nodded and headed out the door. I walked into the bathroom attached to his bedroom and stripped.
I took my time, trying not to think about Kade as a little kid because when I did, I started crying. Breathing deeply, I pushed away the images my mind drew, instead focusing on the present. I was Kade’s future, as was the baby I carried. The past was the past and there was nothing I could do to change it. All I could do was love Kade and build a life for us together.
When I emerged from the bathroom, Kade still hadn’t returned. I tightened the towel around me, wondering if our conversation had upset him more than he’d let on. I opened the bedroom door and stepped into the darkened hallway.
“There you are.”
I spun around, a startled cry on my lips, and I recognized the man who stood there immediately.
James.
He thrust his hand at me, something hard in his grip, and pain arced through my body. Then I knew nothing.
My eyes fluttered open, a headache pounding in my skull. I slowly became aware that I couldn’t move my arms or legs.
“Waking up, I see.”
I focused my eyes with effort. James stood over me looking more unkempt than I’d ever seen him. Two days of beard growth shadowed his jaw, and he wore a wrinkled shirt and slacks. His hair was rumpled and he looked like he hadn’t slept in a while.
“What are you doing?” I asked. I raised my head and saw that I was naked, my towel gone, and that James had tied me spread-eagled to Blane’s bed. The sharp tang of fear rose in the back of my throat.
“Did you think I was gone for good?” James asked, his calm voice belying the wild look in his eyes. “Or were you too busy fucking Dennon while Kirk’s out of town to bother thinking about me?”
That’s when I caught sight of Kade and my breath left me in a rush. James had duct-taped him to a chair. He was unconscious, his head lolling on his chest, a gag in his mouth. At least, I prayed he was unconscious. If he was dead, I reasoned, James wouldn’t have bothered restraining him.
“I’ve lost everything,” James continued. “But you know that, don’t you. Now that Kirk’s going to slide into a senate seat, everyone’s scrutinizing how I pushed for his arrest in Kandi’s murder.” He swallowed. “I’ve been forced to resign. My career’s over.”
“I didn’t have anything to do with that,” I said, desperately trying to reason with him. “Why are you doing this to me?”
James started unbuttoning his shirt. “You could say I’ve had an epiphany,” he said, his gaze unblinking as he stared at me. “Ever since I met you, my life has gone to shit.” He tugged the shirt off and dropped it to the floor.
I shook my head. “I didn’t do anything to you, James.”
“And I realized,” he continued as though he hadn’t even heard me, “that all this time, you were trying to keep me from a dark path, the path I was on. Only I was too stupid to see it. Just like Dennon. That’s why he keeps you with him. To save himself from the demons inside his head. The same demons inside me.”
A noise made me jerk my head toward Kade and I saw with a sinking knot in my gut that he was awake. His eyes blazed with rage as he stared at James, every muscle in his body straining against the bonds that held him. But even as I prayed he’d be able to save me, I knew that there was no way Kade would be able to break free. No one could.
James was looking at Kade, too, then to my horror, walked over and punched him. Kade’s head snapped back from the force of the blow, but his eyes were no less filled with fury as he looked back at James. James hauled back and hit him again and blood spurted from Kade’s nose.
“Stop! James, please!” I cried out. I couldn’t stand watching him hurt Kade.
James turned to look at me.
“Please,” I begged. “Don’t hurt him any more.”
He seemed to consider this, then glanced back at Kade. “He killed my father,” he said. “He should be punished for that.” His fist clenched like he was going to hit Kade again.
“Your father tried to kill me,” I said quickly. “He wasn’t a good man, James.”
After a moment and to my relief, James turned away from Kade and walked back over to me. “You’re right,” he said. “I should listen to you.” He reached out and I flinched as he drew his fingers through my damp hair.
“How could I not have known?” James said, his words so quiet it seemed he was talking to himself more than me. “You’re beautiful, an angel. How could I not have seen that you were sent to save me, just like you saved Kirk?”
His words were crazy, as was the way he was looking at me, his gaze drifting from my face down my body. Fear sent a dose of cold adrenaline through my veins.
James unbuttoned his pants, then continued shedding his clothes until he was naked. I dared not look at Kade again and tears leaked from my eyes to trail down the sides of my face, wetting the bedding underneath my head. Was James going to rape me? Kill me? All while Kade watched?
The horror of it made me nearly pass out, which I knew wouldn’t help me at all. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep, shuddering breath. I would survive. I had to. For Kade’s and the baby’s sakes. I had no doubt that if James killed me, Kade would be utterly lost to the darkness inside him.
When I opened my eyes, James was naked and holding a revolver.
“Put the gun away, James,” I said, my eyes wide. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just put the gun down.”
He ignored me, emptying the chamber of bullets. I watched in confusion and saw him put one bullet back in, then spin the chamber and lock it in place.
“Me and you,” he said, kneeling next to me on the bed. “We kept coming together like magnets. You see the scar you gave me?” He indicated the long white line on his chest. “It’s your brand on my skin, forever marking me as yours.”
James reached out, his touch almost reverent as his fingers trailed from my cheek and down my neck to between my breasts.
“I still see the mark I gave you,” he mused, tracing the faint outline of the J he’d carved into my skin. “See? We’re tied together in blood.” He flattened his palm over the mark.