31
"I fail to understand why this elected pretender is of consequence. To us, or to those with ambitions to the throne of the puppet President," Chiun said.
"Don't look at me. Junior started going on and on about committees in the Senate and I don't know what all," Remo said. "I gather this bunch of MAEBEs had got far- reaching plans to exercise control of Senate committees."
Chiun's parchment brow wrinkled. "For what purpose?"
"Make things happen." Remo shrugged. "They have to send a law through a committee of senators before it can go on to the floor and be voted by all the senators, I guess."
Chiun's eyes were hard with suspicion.
"I'm not making this up," Remo said.
"The big bunch of lawmakers deliberately divides itself into smaller bunches of lawmakers to vote on laws before the big bunch votes on laws?"
"I think that's how it works," Remo said, steering the SUV through D.C. traffic.
"You're a liar, Remo Williams!"
"I'm not lying."
"You can't be telling the truth. It is ridiculous!"
"It's the political system, I guess."
"It is not a system but a bureaucratic morass!"
"Can't disagree with you there."
"This nation never ceases to amaze me with its stupidity. Even the Chinese have a less convoluted government—and I am beginning to think one with a smaller population of degenerates, thieves, and bribe-takers."
"Also, there's some bad blood between Senator Coleslaw and Flicker," Remo said. "Believe it or not, that guy had a lot of power when he was press secretary. I guess he was a thorn in the senator's side and vice versa. Senator Coleslaw—"
"Whiteslaw," Chiun corrected.
"Senator Whatsislaw told the press he's gonna introduce a bill that will change the elections process just enough to roadblock MAEBE."
Remo parked the car eight doors down from the canopy over the sidewalk that advertised Daryl's On Durham Street.
"Why would the other senators allow the upstarts into their committees?" Chiun demanded, not letting up on the earlier ludicrousness.
"Guess they'd have to if there were enough MAEBEs," Remo said. "Otherwise, the MAEBEs
would fight everything the Democraps and Republicraps did. I guess it's a part of the checks and balances."
After a long moment, Chiun shook his ancient skull shortly. "Fah! This democratic system is even more asinine than even I had imagined, or your knowledge is flawed, or both."
"Never said I was an expert," Remo answered, his concentration on the faces of the guests entering and leaving the restaurant. "I'm basing all this on what I remember from high-school civics class."
"What is amazing is that you've blundered along like this and not been annihilated after 230 years."
"Sometimes it seems that long to me, too, Little Father," Remo answered mechanically.
"Not you, this nation of yours."
"Uh-huh."
"It needs a leader—and not one of those clownlike elected pretenders."
"They're not all that bad."
"Name a good one—from your lifetime!"
Remo was watching the restaurant.
"Well?" Chiun demanded.
"I'll think of one eventually."
"You thinking about anything could take another presidential pretender's term. Meanwhile I shall take action to preserve and enhance this undeserving nation," Chiun announced quietly.
"Not the marketing campaign again?"
Chiun said nothing, and Remo wasn't sure if it was
in his best interest to get involved or steer clear. He saw a huge truckload of annoyance spilled on either road he decided to go down, and he had other worries. "There's Senator Whatlaw."
"Whiteslaw," Chiun corrected impatiently.
"Real effective bunch of Secret Service he's got working with him," Remo noted. He turned to glimpse an armored stretch limo approaching from behind their rental. The senator's ride was a rolling cliché of black paint and dark windows. The driver was a stony-faced Secret Service agent in dark glasses and an earpiece.
Remo frowned.
Chiun glanced at him, then returned to watching the entourage as the agent performed a quick electronic scan of the interior and a pair of agents circled the limo in opposite directions with their handheld devices.
"What is bothering you?"
"I don't know," Remo said.
"The driver?"
"I don't think so."
Chiun was the one frowning now. For all his berating of his pupil, Chiun knew that, in fact, Remo had the second-sharpest set of eyes on Earth. Sometimes sharp eyes, and other heightened senses, picked up minuscule scraps of information that were difficult to identify immediately.
"Was there something wrong with the car?" Chiun demanded.
"Maybe, Little Father."
Remo watched the driver go through a high-level security check. Although the driver was likely a part of the same Secret Service group and well-known to the others, he was still questioned and required to provide his fingerprint. If the driver checked out, and if he was worth his paycheck, he would have stayed in the car and alert while the senator was inside having lunch. It was unlikely the car could have been sabotaged.
"Even if there was a trap their tricorders should find a bomb or anything," Remo remarked.
"Fah!" Chiun said. He had little faith in technology of any kind.
What was it? Remo couldn't put his finger on what was itching him. Had there been something wrong when he glimpsed the driver?
The limo pulled into traffic and Remo followed at a distance. The plan was to make their presence known to the senator when he was at his office, then hang out and watch what happened.
Remo was now worried about what would happen before they even reached the office. He kept seeing the brief video clip of the Senator's limo replay in his head. What was wrong with that picture?
Remo Williams knew he was no mental giant, but he also was pretty sure he wasn't the dull blade that certain over-the-hill Koreans said he was. He never claimed to have a photographic memory. But he kept seeing that glimpse. The driver. Damn—every time he pictured the driver again, the man morphed a little more
into Tommy Lee Jones from the Men In Black movie poster.
He gave up on the driver.
Only then did he remember the car.
What kind of car was that? A Lincoln? What kind of an ornament had been on the reinforced grille? Now, hadn't that ornament been a little too blobby to make a good car company insignia?
"Shit!"
"Done thinking?" Chiun asked.
"Me done thinking. Now me go driving."
"Not again," Chiun protested, but Remo stomped on the gas and sent the rental swerving through the heaving D.C. traffic. He closed only half the distance to the limo when the traffic locked him in.
"There is something to be said for urban congestion," Chiun commented.
"There's something on the grille," Remo said, holding up his fingers in a loop the size of a quarter. "Like maybe a plastique button or something like that."
"Even I know a thing so small cannot boom the senator through the hard shell of the car," Chiun said.
"I don't get it, either, but it's something." Remo lifted his upper body out of the rental to see over the stopped traffic. The senator's limo was near the front of the line at a traffic light. Nobody else seemed interested—federal government limos were a dime a dozen on the streets of D.C.
The traffic was heavy. Remo knew he wasn't going to catch up to the senator anytime soon in his SUV.
"Come on." He got out and began weaving through the stopped cars, skimming over the pavement, keeping himself out of sight while attempting to monitor the limousine and every other car and pedestrian in the vicinity, looking for someone who was also interested in the senator. He wondered if he was overreacting. What if the blob on the grille of the limousine turned out to be mud? Or pigeon fudge? Chiun would never let him hear the end of it.