A Fresh Start
by rlfj
Book Six: Politics
Chapter 105: Vacation
Tuesday, November 6, 1990
I should have expected what happened next, but I didn’t. Brewster’s cell phone rang and he held it up to his ear, and then his eyes got wide. He grabbed my shoulder and said, “Come on, back to the room!”
“What’s up?”
He slipped the phone back into his holster. “The President is going to be calling.”
I stared at him for a moment. “The President? You mean, the President?”
McRiley began dragging me out of the room, and the other pros and Marilyn followed me. Out in the hallway, where it was quieter, he said, “Yes, that President! Not the President of the Baltimore Elks Club, the President of the United States! He calls all the new Congressmen and congratulates them.” He kept hustling us back to the suite.
Once inside, I looked over at my wife, who looked as shocked as I did. For all my money and ‘power’, I had never even seen the President at any kind of event, only on television, and certainly never talked to him. Brewster’s cell phone rang and I jumped at the sound. I whirled to face him and he was speaking into it, and then he passed the phone to me. “Is it him?” I whispered.
He shook his head. “No, it’s Gingrich. Say hello.”
I took the phone. “Hello?”
“Carl, it’s Newt Gingrich. How are you doing tonight?”
“Pretty good, sir. Thank you for calling,” I replied.
“Congratulations on your victory. That was one nasty campaign. I’m glad you kicked his butt.”
“No more glad than Marilyn and I are. I think she was even angrier than I was.”
I could hear a chuckle. “When you come to Orientation, I’ll want to meet her, so she can tell me how bad it was. I’ll want to meet you again as well. We’ll need to figure out how to boot out some more Democrats.”
“You can count on me, Congressman.”
“I’ll let you go, Carl. You’ll be getting a lot of congratulations tonight. We’ll talk soon.”
I gave a good-bye and the phone call ended. I handed it back to Brewster. Almost immediately it rang again, and his eyes raised as he answered it. Then he looked over at me. “Is that him?” I whispered again.
He answered in a normal voice. “No, but it’s the White House switchboard. I’m under orders to keep the line open for the next ten minutes and he will pick up at some point. Don’t run to the bathroom in the meantime.”
I suddenly had an incredible urge to pee! Oh Christ! I ran across the room and went into the bathroom, dropped my trousers and pissed and took a dump. What if I missed the president of the United States because I was in the bathroom!? As soon as I could, I wiped my ass and pulled my pants back up, and flushed as I raced back out to Brewster. Marilyn was laughing her ass off against the wall. McRiley simply handed me the phone. “Here, you hold the damn thing! He hasn’t picked up yet.”
I stared at it and held it up to my ear, but got nothing but some Muzak. After a few minutes more a woman came on the line and said, “Hello?”
“Yes?”
“Please be prepared for the President to be on the line in one minute.” At that I got some more Muzak.
I swallowed hard and damn near came to attention. Then there was a click on the line and I heard George Bush — only he wasn’t talking to me! “Okay, which one is this one?” he asked, like he was talking to someone else, and there was a muffled reply.
Major buzzkill!
He came back on the line. “Congressman-Elect Buckman, this is George Bush. Congratulations on your victory tonight!”
I stood a little straighter, which I have since learned is pretty normal, and answered, “Thank you, Mister President.” I looked over at Marilyn and mouthed ‘The President!’ and pointed at the cell phone. She just laughed at me.
We spoke for just a couple of minutes, if that. Apparently it’s a tradition that the President calls every newly elected Congressman and Senator, so he probably had a bunch of calls to make. He made a pro forma comment about looking forward to working with me, and a few other pleasantries. I finished with, “It will be an honor and a privilege to work with you, sir. Thank you, sir.”
Brewster McRiley was giving me a big smile at that. “Laying it on a bit thick there, Carl?”
I smiled but shook my head. “That was the President of the United States, Brewster. It will be an honor and a privilege to work with him.”
“You really are a true believer, aren’t you?”
I had to laugh at that. “Very much so, I’m afraid.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll beat that out of you,” he replied. I laughed some more.
I also got congratulatory phone calls from Bob Michel, the Minority Leader, and Lee Atwater, the Chairman of the RNC. Even William Donald Schaeffer, the Democratic Governor of Maryland, called to congratulate me. I smiled to myself afterwards. If my mother knew I was being congratulated by the Democrats, she’d disown me all over again!
It’s a good thing I mentioned to Brewster that we were running off to Hougomont for the rest of the week, because he immediately began protesting loud and long! Wednesday he had a full schedule already planned for me! This involved two things, going on television and talking to reporters, and calling back everybody important and thanking them. He would allow us to vacation starting Thursday, but only after talking to every other human in the Ninth District before then.
It was after midnight when we got home. George Tilden had gotten one of his patrolmen to station himself at our door with a breathalyzer. He was pretty good natured about it, and we only had one guy get mouthy. We loaded him in a taxi and took away his keys. I kept an eye out for people and a few got sent home with somebody else driving. Interestingly, I was tested as well, and I passed, but Marilyn failed, which got her to giggling. The cop and I just rolled our eyes at that, and I loaded her in the car and took her home.
We went inside to find both her parents sleeping in our recliners. The only question I had was whether they fell asleep before or after the announcement. It was more than possible that they had fallen asleep ahead of time and didn’t know that their son-in-law was a congressman-elect!
Dum-Dum woke up and madly scrambled over, so I grabbed her leash and took her outside. The ruckus woke up Big Bob, and he started climbing out of his chair as I went outside. Dum-Dum didn’t take too long to do her business, and then we went back inside. She wandered back to Charlie’s room to sleep. Harriet was lumbering up out of her chair.
“You win?” she asked.
I smiled over at her daughter. “Let me guess. You two fell asleep before the announcement?”
Big Bob laughed and nodded. “I think so.”
“I won. I’ll be the next Congressman from the Maryland Ninth,” I told them.
They stared at me for a moment. “Huh. You know, it’s kind of hard to believe. I don’t know as I’ve ever met a Congressman before,” he replied.
“We’re pretty normal, Bob,” I said, grinning.
Marilyn laughed hard at that. “Don’t push your luck, Carl. You haven’t been sworn in yet!” Then she yawned.
“I need to get some sleep. Come on, Mother, let’s go to bed. See you in the morning. Congratulations.” He led Harriett down the hallway.
I followed my wife into our bedroom. “When do we have to be at the airport?” I asked. Marilyn had sorted it out with Taylor. “Oh, that’s right, we aren’t going to the airport.”
“As soon as we wake up, I’m calling Taylor and sorting it out,” Marilyn replied.