Nussle answered, “The GAO is about to issue a report that Congressmen are kiting checks through the House bank. I mean, a lot of checks! Thousands of checks! And hundreds of Congressmen are doing it!”
Well, that certainly opened my eyes. “Hundreds of Congressmen?” I glanced over at John, who was excitedly nodding. “Hundreds?”
“Hundreds!”
I whistled softly. It was beginning to come back to me now, as one of the first in a string of major Congressional scandals. There would be more to come. “Just how high does it go? And how big?”
“Pretty high, and it’s mostly the Democrats.”
“Huh.” I had to give that some thought. “Mostly is not the same as all. I am guessing there have to be some Republicans involved.” The other two nodded. “One word of warning — before we get involved with this, feel out Gingrich and Michel. They won’t be amused if we throw garbage on the Republican half of the House. I’m already in the doghouse with Gingrich as it is.”
“So, you want in on this?” asked John.
“Sure! Can you get me a copy of the report? Like I said, I’ve been out of town for almost a month. Like you said, this is the sort of thing Andy Stewart would have been up to his eyeballs in! It’s probably just the tip of the iceberg, too.”
Jim smiled and nodded. “I think you are very much right.”
“If we get you a copy today, when can we meet and talk?” asked John.
I thought for a second. “If we do it here, somebody is going to start wondering what we’re up to. We’ll meet at my house tomorrow evening. Sound feasible?”
They nodded and agreed, and then left. I let Marty back in, but didn’t answer his questions. Not just yet, anyway.
That afternoon a courier came over with a copy of the report, along with a one line note asking when we should meet tomorrow. I jotted down the address and 7:00 PM, and sent the courier on his way. Then I called the catering service and specified I needed coffee and tea and all the fixings for an evening meeting put into the kitchen by tomorrow evening. I wasn’t planning on a dinner party, but we would need something to munch on, I was sure.
That evening, when I flew home, I told Marilyn and the kids that I would need to stay in Washington Tuesday night, but I should be home Wednesday. Then I got the lowdown on what they were up to in school. Charlie was just starting the fifth grade and the twins were starting the second grade! When the hell did they grow up?!
Tuesday I left the office around five. I went to the house on 30th and tidied up a bit, and changed out of my suit into khakis and a sport shirt. Then I went downstairs and cooked a couple of hot dogs and warmed up some Michigan sauce and put that on them, for supper. I had already warned the security people that I would be having guests over, and they didn’t need to screen everybody coming in. I had the place cleaned up by the time the bell rang. I went to the front door and opened it up, to find Jim Nussle and Rick Santorum standing there. They both were still in their suits. “Hey, you found us. I won’t have to launch flares,” I said. “Come on in. You come together?” As I let them in, I noticed another car pulling into the driveway, so I waved at the newcomers and motioned them to come in.
I turned back to find Jim and Rick staring around at things, taking it all in. Well, it was a pretty nice place, as small mansions go. I smiled to myself and just shook my head, and then went back to the door. Next through were Charles Taylor, Frank Riggs, and Scott Klug. I let them in and the reaction was much the same. I led them into the den, where I planned to host the meeting. “Well, make yourselves at home. I’m a bachelor for tonight, so we won’t have my wife or kids around. I have coffee and tea and soda, and whatnot through there, in the kitchen. I picked up some snacks, too. I hope everybody had something to eat already, since I didn’t cook anything.” Everybody was assuring me they would be fine, and then the doorbell rang again, and I had to answer it.
It was John Boehner, and he had a surprise guest with him — Newt Gingrich. “Newt, good to see you. John, glad you could come.”
“Thanks for hosting us. I was trying to get John Doolittle here, but he had something else he had to be at. We can fill him in tomorrow.”
“This is a lovely house, Carl,” commented Gingrich, looking around at the place.
“Thank you. We wanted a place where the kids could run around the yard, and large enough to entertain in. It’s a school night, though, and Marilyn and the kids are back home.”
“Yes, John was commenting that you fly home some nights.”
I nodded. “I’m only about forty-five minutes that way, although we’re thinking about putting a landing pad in the backyard. That will cut fifteen minutes out.” I grinned at them. “I might wait until I get re-elected for that.”
I led the way into the den, where I found several of the men had already availed themselves of coffee. I told John and Newt about the stuff in the kitchen, and then headed there myself, to pour some iced tea. I also brought a plate of chocolate chip cookies that Holly and Molly had made. “Okay, gentlemen, official Buckman Brand chocolate chip cookies. My seven year olds made them for me. Hopefully their mom was doing quality control. Otherwise, John you asked for a meeting place. You want to open things up?” Everybody took a cookie and commented approvingly on them. They were actually pretty good, too. I’d have to ask for some more!
John looked around the room and said, “By now, everyone here has read the draft copy of the GAO report on the House Bank. That’s going to be published by the end of the month. We need to use this to shake things up. If we just leave this up to the Democrats, it will be buried so deep that dynamite and a bulldozer won’t dig it out!”
Nussle piped in at that, “Foley and Gephardt won’t even allow this to be discussed! I heard that Gephardt wasn’t even going to allow the Ethics Committee to look at it.”
“What about Bill Gray?” asked Santorum, referring to William Gray, the House Majority Whip, the same position that Gingrich held.
Newt answered that. “Forget him. He’s out of here tomorrow. He’s resigning his seat to become President of the United Negro College Fund. Dave Bonior is taking over for him.” I hadn’t heard that, but I shrugged, as did a few others. It didn’t really matter, though, since nobody on the other side wanted to highlight this. There were a lot more Democrats in Congress than Republicans, so it was bound to be the Democrats who would take the heat.
Jim Nussle spoke up and said, “We need to use this to get control of the House! We should be able to use this information to do that.”
I made the time-out motion and spoke up. “Hold it, let me ask a question or two. First, the way I read the report, the most obvious thing involved was House members being overdrawn on their paychecks and other checks, correct?” There were some nods and murmurs of agreement. “Okay, what about the Republican members of the House? Before we start throwing mud, how much is going to get splattered on us? I’m not saying we shouldn’t do this, but if we don’t ask now, somebody will be asking later!”
All of us looked over at Gingrich, who was sitting there like Buddha, wise and benevolent and somewhat chubby. “Yes, people will be asking, but the way I was reading the names in the report, the Democrats involved seriously outnumber the Republicans, and the level of overdrafts involved with the Democrats really outweighs the Republicans. It is going to hurt them much, much more than it is going to hurt us.”
I nodded. “Okay, so has anybody here overdrawn their checking account? You know, the pot calling the kettle black and all that.”
Everybody around the room said no, but Newt commented, “I don’t know. It’s hard to say. The system is so screwed up I’m just not sure. What about you, Carl? You know, the pot and the kettle and all.”