"I guess you mean just the opposite of what you're sayin'," I said. "Just what do you think I should have done, Robert Lee?"
"Why, you should have arrested Hauck, of course! Thrown him in jail! I'd have been delighted to prosecute him."
"But what could I arrest him for? I sure couldn't do it for whippin' a colored fella."
"Why not?"
"Aw, now," I said. "Aw, now, Robert Lee. You don't really mean that, do you?"
He looked down at his desk, hesitating a moment. "Well, maybe not. But there are other charges you could have got him on. Being drunk in a public place, for example. Or hunting out of season. Or wifebeating. Or, uh-"
"But Robert Lee," I said. "Everyone does those things. A lot of people, anyways."
"Do they? I haven't noticed any of them being brought into court for prosecution."
"But I can't arrest everyone! Pretty near everyone."
"We're talking specifically about one man. One mean, no-good, drunken, shiftless, lawbreaking wifebeater. Why didn't you make an example out of him for other men of his type?"
I said I just didn't rightly know, since he put it that way. I just didn't know; but I'd do some studyin' about it, and if I came up with an answer I'd tell him.
"I already know the answer," he said curtly. "Everyone with a lick of sense knows it. You're a coward."
"Now, I don't know as I'd say that, "I said. "I ain't sayin' that I ain't a coward, but-"
"If you're afraid to do your job by yourself, why don't you hire a deputy? The county provides funds for one."
"Why, I already got a deputy," I said, "my wife. I deputized Myra, so's she could do my office for me."
Robert Lee Jefferson stared at me grimly.
"Nick," he said, "do you honestly think you can go on doing as you've been doing? Absolutely nothing, in other words. Do you really think you can go on taking graft and robbing the county, and doing nothing to earn your money?"
"Why, I don't see how I can do much else if I want to stay in office," I said. "I got all kinds of expenses that fellas like you and the county judge and so on ain't bothered with. Me, I'm out in the open all the time, brushin' up with hundreds of people whereas you folks only see one once in a while. Anyone that's put in trouble, why I'm the fella that puts 'em there; they don't see you until afterward. Anyone that needs to borrow a dollar, they come to me. All the church ladies come to me for donations, and-"
"Nick…"
"I throw a big barbecue every night the last month before election. Come one, come all. I got to buy presents when folks has a new baby, and I got to-"
"Nick! Nick, listen to me!" Robert Lee held up his hand. "You don't have to do all those things. People have no right to expect them of you."
"Maybe they don't have a right," I said. "I'll go along with that. But what they got a right to expect, and what they do expect ain't exactly the same thing."
"Just do your job, Nick. Do it well. Show people that you're honest and courageous and hard-working, and you won't have to do anything else."
I shook my head, and said I couldn't. "I just plain can't, Robert Lee, and that's a fact."
"No?" He leaned back in his chair. "And just why can't you, pray tell?"
"For a couple of reasons," I said. "For one thing, I ain't real brave and hard-workin' and honest. For another, the voters don't want me to be."
"And just how do you figure that?"
"They elected me, didn't they? They keep electing me."
"That's pretty specious thinking," Robert Lee said. "Perhaps they trusted and liked you. They've been giving you every chance to make good. And you'd better do it very quickly, Nick." He leaned forward and tapped me on the knee. "I'm telling you that as a friend. If you don't straighten up and do your job, you'll be out of it come fall."
"You really think Sam Gaddis is that strong, Robert Lee?"
"He's that strong, Nick. Every bit that strong. Sam is just about everything you're not, if you'll excuse my saying so, and the voters like him. You'd better get busy or he'll beat the pants off of you."
"Uh-hah! " I said. "Umm-humm! Would you mind if I used your phone, Robert Lee?"
He said go ahead and I called Myra. I told her I was going out to Rose Hauck's place to help her do her chores, so that Tom wouldn't beat her up when he got home. Myra said that was just fine, her and Rose being such good friends-or so she thought-and she told me to stay as long as I liked.
I hung up the phone. Robert Lee Jefferson was staring at me like I was plumb out of my mind. "Nick," he said, waving his hands, "haven't you heard a word I said? Is that your idea of doing your job-to go out and chore around the Hauck farm?"
"But Rose needs help," I said. "You surely ain't sayin' it's wrong to help her."
"Of course, I'm not! It's nice of you to want to help her; that's one of your good qualities, the way you're always willing to help people. But-but-" He sighed and shook his head wearily. "Aaah, Nick, don't you understand? It isn't your job doing things like that. It isn't what you're paid for. And you've got to start doing what you're paid for, or Sam Gaddis will beat you!"
"Beat me?" I said. "Oh, you mean the election?"
"Of course I mean the election! What the hell else have we been talking about?"
"Well, I've been thinking about that," I said. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about it, Robert Lee, and! think I've thought of an angle that will beat ol' Sam."
"An angle? You mean some kind of trick?"
"Well, you might call it that," I said.
"B-But-but-" He looked like he was about to explode again. "But why, Nick? Why not simply do your job?"
"Well, I thought a lot about that, too," I said. "Yes, sir, I really did a lot of thinking. Almost had myself convinced for a while that I actually should get out and start arrestin' people, and start actin' like a sheriff in general. But then I did some more thinkin', and I knew I hadn't ought to do nothing of the kind."
"But, Nick-"
"Because people don't want me to do that," I said. "Maybe they think they do, but they don't. All they want is for me to give 'em some excuse to vote for me again."
"You're wrong, Nick." Robert Lee wagged his head. "You're dead wrong. You've got away with tricks in the past, but they won't work this time. Not against a truly fine man like Sam Gaddis."
I said, well, we'd just have to wait and see, and he gave me a sharp look.
"Have you got some idea that Sam Gaddis isn't a good man? Is that it, Nick?! can tell you right now that if you have some idea of digging up some dirt on him-"
"I got no such idea," I said. "I couldn't dig up no dirt on Sam if! wanted to, because there just ain't none to dig."
"Good. I'm glad you realize that."
"No, sir," I said. "I know Sam's as good a man as they come. That's why I can't understand how all these stories about him got started."