Finally, it got too late to work any longer. But by then, I was so keyed up from talking, so restless and high-strung that my nerves seemed to be standing on end. So instead of going home, I sneaked over to Amy Mason's house.
We went back into the bedroom. She held me off for a minute, kind of cold and peevish-actin', and then she seemed to change her mood suddenly. And we went to bed.
It happened pretty fast, considering how wore out I was. But afterwards my eyes drifted shut, and I seemed to sink down into a deep dark pit, and-
"Wake up!" Amy was shaking me. "Wake up, I said!"
I said, "Huh, whassa matter, honey?" And Amy said again that I was to wake up.
"Is that how little I mean to you? That you can fall asleep like a hog in a wallow with my arms around you? Or were you saving yourself for your precious Rose Hauck?"
"Huh? What?" I said. "For gosh sake, Amy-"
"Rose is staying at your place, is she not?"
"Well, sure," I said. "But just on account of her husband's death and buryin'. She-"
"And why didn't you tell me she was staying there? Why did I have to find it out for myself?"
"But, looky," I said. "Why the heck should I tell you? What's it got to do with us? Anyways, you already knew all about me an' Rose, an' it didn't seem to bother you none."
She stared at me, her eyes sparkling with anger, and suddenly turned her back to me. Then, just as I was about to put my arm around her, she turned and faced me again.
"Just what do I already know about you and Rose? Tell me!"
"Aw, now, honey," I said. "I-"
"Answer me! Just what do I know about you?! want to know!"
I said I'd just made a slip of the tongue, and there wasn't anything to tell her about Rose and me. Because of course, she didn't want to know about us. No woman that sleeps with a man wants to know that another woman is doin' it, too.
"I was just referrin' to the other night," I said. "You know, when you was teasin' me about Rose, and I told you there wasn't nothing between us. That's all I meant when I said you already knew all about us."
"Well-" She was anxious to believe me. "You're sure?"
"O' course, I'm sure," I said. "Why, my gosh, ain't we the same as engaged to get married? Ain't we goin' to go away together just as soon as we figure out what to do about my wife an were sure there am t any kickbacks from them two pimps I killed? That's right, ain't it, so why would I be fooling around with another woman?"
She smiled, her lips kind of trembly. She kissed me, and snuggled up in my arms.
"Nick… don't see her anymore. After she's gone home, I mean."
"Well, I sure don't want to," I said. "I sure don't aim to, anyways. I sure won't see her, Amy, unless I just can't noways get out of it."
"Yes? And just what is that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, she's Myra's friend," I said. "Even before Tom got himself killed, Myra was always after me to give Rose some help, an' I felt sorry for her so I usually did. So it'll look awful funny if I stop all of a sudden, without even waitin' until she can hire a farm hand."
Amy was silent for a moment, thinking things over. Then her head moved in a little nod.
"All right, Nick. I suppose you will have to see her-one more time."
"Well, I'm not sure that'll be enough," I said. "I mean, it prob'ly will, but-"
"One more time, Nick. Just to tell her that she'd better employ some help because you won't be seeing her again. No,"-she put her hand over my mouth as I started to speak-"that's it, Nick. Just once more, and never again. If you want me, that is. If you want to keep me from being very, very angry with you."
I said, all right, that's the way it would be. There just wasn't much else I could say. But what I was thinking was that Rose was going to have something to say about this, and I could get in just as much trouble by not heeding her as I could Amy.
Amy just wasn't giving me a chance, god-dang it! I was just as anxious to be shet of Rose as she was to have me. But it would take time and if I didn't have the time, if I could only see Rose once more
"Nick, darling… I'm still here."
I said, "Yeah, danged if you ain't." And I hugged her close and kissed and petted her, putting a lot of enthusiasm into it. But I tell you frankly, I didn't feel much. And it wasn't just because I was so tired I could hardly lift a finger.
I'd been almost on the point of hitting on a plan, something that would not only take care of Rose without me seeing her more than once, but would take care of Myra and Lennie at the same time. And then Amy had spoke up, and the pieces of a plan had scattered every which way. And I knew I was going to have a heck of a time putting 'em together again, if I ever was able to.
"Nick!"-she was beginning to sound cross again- "you're not going to sleep again, are you?"
"Me?" I said. "Me go to sleep around a pretty thing like you? Now, what do you think?"
She let me out the door, so drowsy herself she could barely keep her eyes open. I sneaked back across town, and believe me, sneakin' is the word, because I was plumb wrung dry an' there wasn't enough juice left in me to wet a whistle.
I got to the courthouse, and slipped off my boots at the foot of the stairs. I sneaked up the stairs and got to my room, and got out of my clothes. Then, I slid into bed, careful as I could to keep the springs from squeaking. And I sighed and thought Oh, Lord, how long, god dang it? One cross is bad enough, but I hadn't ought to carry a whole god-dang lumberyard around with me!
Rose grabbed me. She swarmed all over me, and it was like her body was on fire.
"Goddam! What the hell took you so long, Nick?"
I tried to keep from groaning. I said, "Look, Rose we can't do this, honey. It's already Sunday morning."
"Crap on Sunday morning!" she said. "Who gives a damn what day it is?"
"But-but this ain't nice," I said. "It just ain't nice to fornicate on Sunday morning. Now, you just think about it, an' you'll see I'm right."
Rose said she didn't want to think about it, she just wanted to do it. "Come on, dammit!" she panted. "Come on! I'll show you whether it's nice or not!"
Well, I just couldn't, you know. At least, I thought I couldn't. And I guess the only way I managed to was because the good Lord gave me strength. He seen I was in a heck of a spot, like He naturally would, because if He'd noticed something like a sparrow fallin', He'd just about have to see the predicament I was in.
So He gave me strength, I reckon. Which-an' I don't mean to sound ungrateful-was about the least He could do.
19
Rose went to church with Myra and me, Lennie staying at home because he didn't always behave too well in crowds. After the services, Rose and Myra went on home to get dinner ready, and I hung around to do a little handshakin' and baby-pattin' and backslappin'.
Sam Gaddis was doing the same thing, a grayhaired middle-aged fella with a dignified look about him. The minister had given him a kind of indirect boost in his sermon, which was about casting stones and judge not lest ye be judged, and now he seemed to be getting a better reception than I was. People would turn their heads to look at him, while they were shaking hands with me. I'd slap 'em on the back and they'd sort of take it as a shove toward Sam. And there was one woman that yanked her baby away just as I was about to kiss it, so that I danged near kissed my own belt buckle.