“What the hell are you talking about? Have you completely lost your mind?” Sydney asked.
“He’s Bone Harder, Sydney. He’s not a fucking PA.” Dawn pointed at Jason, then at Richard. “Bone is more popular than Richard. The only way a PA would ever happen between them is if they’re both fucking it for the big screen.”
Sydney went pale, and Jason worried about her. She turned toward him. “Is this true?”
“I can explain.”
“Explaining is not necessary. Is it true?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“You’re a porn star?”
“Yes.”
“Bone Harder?”
“Yes.”
“I laughed at your name, and you laughed along with me.”
“Yes.”
“And you don’t know if he’s been working while he’s been seeing you,” Dawn said.
“No, I haven’t.”
“Please, you’ve got new videos posted every single week.”
“I’ve not cheated on Sydney. I’ve not touched another woman since I’ve met her,” Jason said. He couldn’t fucking bring himself to do it. It was why his professional life was in the toilet.
“Ha, you’re a fucking porn star. Your entire life is about cheating on the woman you’re with,” Dawn said.
“Is it true?” Sydney asked.
“Of course it’s true, Syd. You can see the truth staring at you in the fucking face.”
“That’s enough,” Sydney said, glaring at her sister.
“Syd?”
“No, Dawn. I’m not going to do this in front of you. I think it’s better if you leave.”
Silence fell onto the group, and Jason couldn’t look away from his woman. She looked so incredibly hurt. His heart was breaking for her.
“Okay, I’ll go, honey.”
Sydney closed her eyes. Richard left along with Dawn, neither speaking as they made their way out of Sydney’s home.
“What is going on?” Sydney asked, looking at him. Tears had welled up in her eyes, and it was like a kick to the gut, staring at her.
This is what he’d been trying to avoid for the longest time. Gripping the back of his chair tightly, he stared across the table. Neither of them was sitting. They were both standing.
“It’s true what Dawn said. I’m a porn star, and I’ve been a star for the last ten years.”
She gasped, touching her stomach.
“It’s true?”
“Yes.”
“Bone Harder is you?”
“Yes.”
Each admission of his lies was twisting him up inside. She turned away from his gaze, pressing her fingers against her mouth as if she was trying to keep in her cries.
“You lied to me?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not Richard’s PA.”
“I’ve never been a PA in the whole of my life. I don’t know the first thing about being a PA.” He took a deep breath, hating what he was saying.
“Why did you lie?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to admit the truth of what I am.”
“You’re ashamed?”
“No.”
“Why wouldn’t you admit the truth of who you are unless you’re afraid?” She wiped away the tears that were falling of their own accord. Each tear that fell was cutting him so deeply.
“A lot of women expect something out of me. You weren’t like that. When you asked what I was, I panicked, and I didn’t want to ruin something that hadn’t begun.”
“I had sex with you without a condom. Am I safe?” she asked.
He winced. “Yes, you’re safe.”
“Are you sure? How many women have you fucked without a condom? I don’t expect to be singled out,” she said.
“Baby.” He moved around the table about to take her into his arms.
“No. I don’t want you to touch me. I can’t trust you. I can’t be with you.” She shook her head. “It’s lies.”
“I love you.”
“No, everything you’ve ever told me has been built on lies, Jason. How can you expect me to even believe you?” she asked.
He didn’t know how to tell her that everything else about him had been the truth. Dropping his hand, he looked around at the food. “I fell in love with you, Sydney. You’re the first woman who has ever made me feel anything.”
“Get out.” The two words were spoken softly. Her head was bent over, and she refused to look at him.
“Can’t we talk about this?” he asked.
“I want you to get out of my apartment. I don’t want you near me. Get out.”
“Sydney.”
“Get out!” She screamed the two words at him, finally looking at him. Her eyes were bright red from tears.
She needs time.
“I’ll leave.” He held his hands up in surrender.
Stepping back, he made his way out of her house, closing the door behind him. Dawn was sitting on the step by the door. Glancing over at his car, he saw Richard was leaning against it.
“Don’t ever come back,” Dawn said.
He glared back at her. “You can think all you want to about me. I did what I had to every single fucking day to get by. I never cheated on her. I’ve never fucking looked at another woman since I’ve met her.” He stopped seeing it was useless to even try to reason with Dawn. “Take care of her.”
Jason didn’t stay to listen to Dawn cursing him.
Walking to his car, he climbed into the passenger side. Richard was in the passenger seat by the time he was moving away from the curb.
He wasn’t in the mood to talk right now, and Richard gave him the space he needed.
Driving to his apartment, he wasn’t surprised when Richard followed him up.
Once inside, Jason left closing the door to Richard, while he went straight for the freezer where he kept his vodka. He needed a stiff drink.
Grabbing a shot glass, he poured out a measure, then tipped the glass to his lips.
Richard stood in front of him.
Pouring a second, then a third glass, he drank it all down, not caring that he was going to have the world’s worst hangover tomorrow.
“Today didn’t go well,” Richard said.
“No shit.” He stared at his friend, drinking down his fourth drink. The burn had stopped, and he rested his palm over the glass where it rested on the counter. “It’s fucking over. I fucked up, and this is what you get for lying.”
“Shit, man, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“I encouraged you to lie,” Richard said.
“No. You gave me the idea of lying. You didn’t exactly order or force me to lie to Sydney. I had so many moments when I could have told her the truth. I didn’t, and now I’m paying the price for that.” He poured more vodka out, laughing. “The first woman I fall in love with, and I’m the one to fuck it up. I can’t believe it.”
He shook his head. There was no point in trying to find a positive. He was in love with Sydney, and now he had nothing, not even his work.
****
The clattering of plates echoed around the room as Sydney stacked the dishes up. Every now and then she wiped at her tears, angry with herself. Her heart was crushing inside her chest, making it hard for her to breathe.
Jason had lied to her. He’d lied to her about everything.
She heard his car pull away from her drive, and she didn’t care.
Liar. You’re breaking apart inside.
“Good riddance,” Dawn said, coming into the house.
The sound of her door closing was like the last nail in the coffin. She dropped the plates she’d been holding, and they smashed around her feet. Not caring, Sydney held her stomach as she bent forward, throwing up what she’d eaten before her life went to shit all around her.
“Shit, honey,” Dawn said, rubbing her back, and pulling her hair out of the way.
When she was finished, Sydney left her sister’s side, grabbing everything to clean the mess up.
“Sydney, talk to me.”
Ignoring her, she got to her knees, and started to clean everything up. Throwing the broken plates into the trash, she soaped the carpet. Tears blurred her eyes as everything seemed to crash down around her.