The succubus ignored this intemperate outburst. She swished her long-nailed finger inside and brought it out dripping. She touched her tongue to it. "Neatsfoot oil," she announced.
"What?"
"Neatsfoot oil. Old standby to soften saddles and shoe leather."
"Saddle soap?" Prior gaped but saw she was serious. "It figures. A one-toke slot gets a lot of rough action. Probably has to be lathered up right or it hardens and cracks."
"Fuck it, eunuch!" the muffled voice pleaded.
"All in good time, ass," the succubus snapped, slapping a buttock.
"But does it have VD?" Prior demanded.
"No."
"Then we'd better try the tamponer," he said with relief.
"That's right! I forgot."
YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS TO COMPLETE YOUR BUSINESS, the sign warned.
"What happens if you don't finish in time?" the succubus asked, curious.
"It freezes up, and anything in there is stuck. Then you have to pay again, or have the fairy janitor pry you loose."
"Clever!" She shoved the box against the buttocks.
The filament came out and performed its exploration. "Stop that!" the muffled voice cried angrily. "Quit tickling and fuck it, you fuckin' impotent!"
A cigarette emerged and found loose lodging. "You forgot to stock it with those tampons you bought!" the succubus exclaimed, smiling. She evidently found humor in the situation, now that she was not the victim.
VIOLATION, the sign said, and a red flag popped up. The labia and buttocks closed around the cigarette and stiffened as though instant rigor mortis had set in. Any dawdling penis would have been in sorry straits.
"Serves you right, slowpoke!" the muffled voice chortled, thinking it was a pinioned penis.
Undismayed, the machine lit the cigarette, doused its light, and closed up shop. "Let's get out of here," Prior said, seeing the weed glow slowly down toward the oiled flesh. "Does neatsfoot oil burn? There could be an explosion. The management might not approve."
"Serves her right," the succubus said smugly.
They moved on to the next unoccupied booth. This offering was sunny side up, the spread thighs disappearing at an angle into the wall above. Prior found the coinslot and pressed in a token.
"Doesn't it stretch those twats?" the succubus inquired.
"No more than a turd does. The tokens aren't that big, and the mechanism is self-contained and shaped to the bowel. The same unit injects the flesh-stiffener and its antidote. A very efficient setup."
"I'd still call it dirty money," she muttered. "The management must have a ball collecting and counting it."
The vagina came alive. The succubus inserted her finger again and sampled it. "Jackpot! Syphilis!"
Prior's member acted as though he were turning into a succubus himself. He didn't like the sound of this. "Are you sure my—that it works on syph, too?"
"Of course I'm not sure! That's why we're here! If you die of syphilis I'll be generous enough to admit my theory was wrong."
Prior couldn't debate that reasoning, though somehow he was not reassured. He brought out his penis, and it tried to elude his grasp and hide. He hauled it out again, and it dangled like a decapitated snake. He massaged it, trying to work it into a suitable erection. The organ inflated only to half-mast, then began to subside.
"Hurry it up!" the succubus said. "Time is money."
"I thought you didn't care about money."
"I don't; you do. Get your midget pekker into the soup!"
But it shriveled like an embarrassed worm until it was largely absent. The VIOLATION sign came on.
"Oh for pity's sake!" she said. "Here—I'll take care of it. Come on over to the arcade section."
She led him to the sexview stalls, his fly still open and his little penis peeping out pitifully. No one noticed. The succubus seemed pretty knowledgeable for a creature who had never patronized a place like this.
Here, for a token, men and women could assimilate three-dimensional stereophonic odoriphorous semitactile eroticism.
Each item was rated on a sliding scale: guaranteed to bring a person to spontaneous climax within a specified period. If it failed to do so, his token was refunded. Of course he had to submit his genitals to a quick machine inspection to verify that his gun had not been fired within the past half hour, and the offer was void if certain suppressant drugs were employed. Men had been known to try to beat the machine by injecting Novocain into their erectile tissue to deaden all sensation. (It didn't work; the climactic stimulus acted on the brain, not the meat.)
Of course it was rumored that a sensitizing drug was injected by the arcade machine during its check for desensitizing drugs—but hardly anybody worried about that. An orgasm was an orgasm, after all, and a sexview orgasm was mighty good regardless.
Prior rammed in his token with more authority than his penis evinced, and passed inspection. He donned the helmet, settling the binoculars over his open eyes, the headphones over his ears, the nosecone over his nose, and the tactile band over his forehead and the back of his neck. The tape came on and the timer started.
The succubus watched his penis climb rapidly and achieve full turgidity. It quivered and thrust toward the collection basin, on the verge of detonation, while Prior's open mouth gasped and drooled. There was obviously quite a show going on in his head! Fifteen seconds had passed; five to go. (The price rose exponentially for emissions within twelve seconds, or for males under thirteen, or for frigid women.)
As the fit came over him, she hoisted her skirt, turned her torso about, and jammed her thirsty cavity onto the short pole, receiving the full ejaculation. It was a large one—a dozen jets—showing that he hadn't been tapped in some time. She smiled with satisfaction as she eased off the perch.
Prior removed the helmet. "Whew! That was so real it felt real!" Then he noted her position and remembered what they had come for. "You—did you—"
"Next time I incubate," she said as she straightened out, "I'm going to try one of those shows. This one sure lifted your counterweight."
"Incubate?" He was still groggy from the sexview presentation. Whoever had authored the script for the sequence he had just experienced must have had a hot jock and a sick mind. It was potent stuff!
"I'm succubating at the moment."
"Oh." Obviously. Apparently she didn't have to change sexes the moment she got her load on; she could do it at her convenience.
She set off for the slot section, metamorphosing in full stride. Still dazed, he followed her... him. Incubating, yes.
The incubus took a token and shoved it into the slot they had visited before. His gesture in doing so was obscene. As the buttocks loosened and the crack opened he plunged his eight-incher into the hole with a loud slurp. As he delivered Prior's load, he pinched the buttock with fingernails that resembled an old-time can-opener.
"Stop that!" screamed the owner's voice. "Go to the pervert department, you sadist!"
"I have just put my brand on this hair-pie," the incubus said matter-of-factly, withdrawing his spent tool. Even flaccid, it remained large. Prior stifled a siege of envy. "Or this harpy; maybe that version is better. So we'll know whether remission occurs."
Sure enough, a mystic symbol was now evident on the reddened skin. There would be no problem identifying this exhibit! Meanwhile, he agreed: hairpie equated nicely with harpy.
"Now I'll just go test out the sexviewer," the incubus said. "Take care of your box." He handed the tamponer back and walked away.
"You can't use it right after you've spurted—the guarantee's void!" Prior called. But the incubus was already out of hearing. Well, maybe he'd succubate, then try the show. Or maybe he had ways to fuck up this type of machine, too, just as she had been ready to do for the parking meter at the beach.