"COD, of course," the hellephant said anxiously.
"We don't need no usual terms for no fifteen minute job!" Black yelled. "Fuck your COD! Make another offer."
But Klo had already come to her decision. "Yes, then. Usual terms. COD."
The hellephant made a motion like a bow. "Very good. Observe."
They observed. The creature faced about, stretched forth its trunk, harrumphed a few times, and began squirting hot liquid fudge against a section of the icewall. It was like the jet from a rusty fire hydrant. Brown fluid splashed away, but soon the heat and force of it ate a hole in the ice, and the hole grew steadily wider and deeper.
"I could have used that technique on the second branch," Prior murmured appreciatively. "But when does he suck it up? I never saw him inhale."
"Keep watching," Black said smugly. "The hellephant ain't no genius, but he's a good, honest craftsman."
The hole broke through the first rim, and the fudge disappeared down it, draining elsewhere inside that makeshift vagina. But the hellephant continued to blast it forth, still never taking a breath. Gradually the level of the pool subsided, revealing more of the elephantine body. The creature was squatting on the bottom, its hind end lowermost. It wore a G-string with a tiny patch in front. There was a turbulence around the base.
Finally the chocolate level dropped below the demon's torso, stranding the floating candle on a bar of brown ice. There was a horrendous sucking sound, as of three hundred bathtubs draining simultaneously: gunk, gunk, GUNK! Now Prior saw what was happening. The hellephant was sucking fudge into its rectum and spewing it from its trunk! No wonder the thing never took a breath! But the supply of hot liquid had been exhausted. There was only a bubbling puddle where the original hot spring operated, but it would take many days for it to fill the pool again.
The brown jet sputtered to a halt. The hellephant sucked wind, choked, then farted bellicosely from both ends, clearing its tubes. Caked chocolate shot out, the refuse from its filters, and plopped down like so many bushels of diarrhea. Clouds of chocolate-flavored mist enveloped demon and people. Prior gagged, knowing where it had come from, but he still had to inhale the stuff or suffocate directly.
"I believe the connection is complete," the hellephant said politely. "Do you wish to verify it before making payment?"
"We'll take your word," Klo said. She turned to the two men. "Well, I guess I won't be seeing you...."
"What do you mean?" Prior asked. "We have to stay together, or the robots will come and stop our mission."
"The robots'll never get past the hellephant," Black said. "The demon gets very fussy about interruptions, once it starts."
"Once what starts?"
"She agreed to the usual terms, despite my advice," Black said. "COD."
"Cash on Delivery," Prior agreed. "Sure. I'm not stupid. And I'll pay her back what it costs."
"You can't," Klo said.
"Not C.O.D., turd," Black explained. "COD. As in cod-piece. He's the cod, she's the piece. Only more so, in the case of the hellephant. Much more so."
"Precisely," agreed the demon, removing the eyepatch from its crotch. Underneath was a tiny penis, proportionately—no more than eight or nine inches.
"COD—Cunt on Delivery," Klo said. "Everyone knows that." She splashed into the pentagram, removing her chocolate caked clothing.
"The hellephant only fucks once a century," Black explained. "But he makes that one count. He prefers human females, because they're comfortable, they don't have frigid cycles, and they live a fair spell. Most animals only get hot every so often, and are pretty uptight when not in heat."
"Yeah, I saw two dogs stuck together once," Prior said. "If that's what you mean by uptight. So the hellephant's fornication kills them? With a trunk like that, I'm not surprised."
"Of course not. He doesn't use his trunk for that. The hellephant is always polite and gentle—that's why most female demons won't touch him."
"Makes sense," Prior admitted, remembering what bitches the female demons he had encountered were. But he still wasn't clear on the nature of the deal Klo had made.
Klo reached the creature and lifted her chocolate arms. The hellephant curled its trunk carefully around her body and brought her in close. She scissored open her legs, and the demon's little member pushed up and in, not stopping until it was completely embedded. There was no panting, no preliminary byplay; just that matter-of-fact coupling, lubricated by liquid chocolate.
"Well, let's move on before the pool fills up again and covers our tunnel," Black said.
"Right now? In a moment that intercourse will be over. He's already all the way into her."
Black laughed. "It'll be a long moment, whiteass. Why do you think I tried to warn her off? The hellephant fucks for life—and she could live to seventy or eighty."
Prior gasped. "You mean—they won't stop? Until she dies of old age?"
"That's what I was hinting at, pale-prick. She'll eat, sleep and shit right there—and that cock will never pull out." He watched a moment more, then shrugged, accepting it. "She made the deal. She didn't have to, so she must have wanted it that way. Actually, I hear it's a mighty comfortable living, for those who like COD. Cock onto Death, some call it. A pretty fair burial, too—the hellephant only comes when there's nothing left worth waiting for, when the fuck is falling apart, maybe two months after death. Then he creams up a storm and buries the bones in it. That's what I call a real sendoff—to be buried in your lover's cream."
"Yes indeed," Prior agreed, shaking his head.
They left the lovers to their stasis as the fudge spring bubbled up around them, starting the tedious business of refilling the pool.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The fudge had cooled and hardened, leaving an opaque tunnel into the bowels of the mountain. And bowel was what the brown-caked tube resembled! Despite the solid ice under the solid chocolate, the air was reasonably warm here, and by walking swiftly they were able to keep comfortable without clothing. Prior carried his sodden outfit in a wadded ball under his arm, hoping to rinse it eventually in some clear soda stream. Where there was one hot spring, there might be others.
No such luck. The passage debouched into a system of icy caverns. Red stalactites hung from the vaulted ceiling, and similar stalagmites rose to meet them, like sets of teeth slowly dosing. Prior broke the tip off a small one and touched his tongue to it. "Cherry," he said, noting the concentric rings of ice like the growth-rings of trees. "We're in the Orchard, all right."
"Well, get your rod hot," Black said, shivering. "Once we meet up with those three other branches—"
Prior nodded nervously. Fate kept impelling him forward into this challenge, despite his willingness to slide backward. He had vanquished the first two guardian demons—but how would he handle three at once? The moment he reamed one, another would be reaming him. But he had to make the effort, now that Klo had given her all for the cause. All her vagina.
The cavern passages led generally down, and fortunately they did not become killingly cold. Perhaps there were hot springs here, after all, melting new passages and imbuing the entire system with some warmth. But Prior didn't like the direction.
"How can we find the Tree, if we don't get to the top?" he demanded, trying to sound more upset than he felt. He didn't want to be trapped in here, but if they really couldn't find those malevolent demons—