'Just some tricksters at the Virgin. Their usual ghastly clientele-'
'The Virgin?' I had forgotten the name. Festus would have thought it a great joke. 'Is that where we ended up?'
'It's a terrible place.'
'That part I remember.'
'I'd never seen them before.'
'It must be quite near here. Do you still hang around there?'
'Only if somebody pays me to go.' Marina was as frank as her winsome child.
'Have you ever seen those artists again?'
'Not that I recall. Mind you, if I was desperate enough to be in the Virgin, I was probably too tipsy to spot my own grandmother.'
'Or you wouldn't want your granny to spot you.' Even at eighty-four Marina's old granny would have made a good Praetorian Guard. She liked hitting first and asking questions afterwards. She was three feet high, and her right upper-cut was legendary.
'Oh no! Granny drinks at the Four Fish,' Marina solemnly put me right.
I sighed, gently.
XX
Helena could see I was growing exasperated at the way this conversation jerked about.
'What we need to ascertain,' she intervened, in a tone so reasonable I felt my left foot kick out angrily, 'is whether Didius Festus was contacting somebody in particular on his last home leave. Somebody who can tell us what his plans were. Why are you asking about the artists, Marcus? He could have been arranging business at any time during his leave. Was there really something special about his last night-and about that group?'
Suddenly Marina declared, 'There certainly was!' I started to feel hot. She was oozing indiscretion, though it did not come immediately. 'For one thing,' she said, 'Festus was jumping like a cat on a griddle. You noticed that-you just said so, Marcus. That wasn't like him. Normally he breezed into places and stirred everyone else up, but he let the excitement flow over him.'
'That's true. And he could hardly wait to drag us on from one bar to the next. Normally once he got comfortable he wouldn't shift. That night he kept dodging on to new squats every five minutes.'
'As if he was looking for someone?' suggested Helena quietly.
'For another thing,' Marina pressed on inexorably, 'there was the little matter of him sending me off with you!'
'We don't need to resurrect that,' I said. Well, I had to try.
'Don't mind me,' smiled Helena. The knives were out all round.
'Suit yourself,' sniffed Marina. 'But Marcus, if you really want to know what he was up to that evening, I think this little incident needs considering.'
'Why?' Helena asked her, bright with unhealthy interest.
'It's obvious. It was a blatant fix. He annoyed me over the brunette, then he got up sunshine's nose as well.'
'Doing what? What offended sunshine?'
'Oh I can't remember. Just Festus being himself, probably. He could behave like a short-arsed squit.'
I said, 'Looking back, I can see he was trying to get rid of both of us-despite the fact it was our last chance of seeing him, maybe for years.'
'You were both very fond of him?'
Marina threw up her hands elegantly. 'Oh gods, yes! We were both planning to stick to him like clams. He had no chance of keeping secrets. Even getting us to leave the Virgin was not safe enough. We would both have been back. Well, I would. If I had gone home and he hadn't turned up soon afterwards, I would have stormed out again looking for him-I knew where to look, too.'
Helena glanced at me for confirmation. 'Marina's right. Festus was often elusive, but we were used to it. She had dragged him away from drinks counters in the early hours of the morning on many occasions. It was their natural way of life.'
'What about you?'
'As it was his last night, once I sobered up a bit I might well have gone back to toast his health again. I knew his haunts as well as Marina did. If he wanted any privacy, then he had to shoot us off somewhere, and make it stick.'
'So he annoyed both of you deliberately, then threw you together?'
'Obvious!' Marina said. 'Marcus had always been jealous of Festus. This loon had been eyeing me up for years-so why did Festus suddenly present him with the goods after all that time?'
I felt surly. 'I seem to be coming out of this as weak, cheap, and sly.' They both looked at me in silence. 'Well thanks!'
Marina patted my wrist. 'Oh you're all right! Anyway, he owed you enough; no one could say otherwise. What about that business with your client?'
She genuinely puzzled me with that one. 'What client?'
'The woman who hired you to find her dog.' I had forgotten the damned dog. The female client now returned to mind quite easily-and not only because she was one of the first I ever had after I set up as an informer.
'It was a British hunting hound,' I told Helena hastily. 'Very valuable. Superb pedigree and could run like the wind. The daft creature was supposed to be guarding the woman's clothes at some bathhouse; a slave stepped on his tail accidentally and he ran off like stink down the Via Flaminia. The young lady was heartbroken:' It still sounded an unlikely tale.
'Well you've been in Britain!' Helena Justina said gently. She knew how to cast aspersions. 'I expect you have a special affinity with British dogs.' Oh yes. Lovely work for a professional; every informer ought to learn how to call 'Here boy!' in at least twelve languages. Five years later the jobs I was taking on seemed just as motley. 'Did you find him?' Helena pressed.
'Who?'
'The dog, Marcus.'
'Oh! Yes.'
'I bet your lady client was really grateful!' Helena understood more about my business than I liked.
'Come off it. You know I never sleep with clients.' She gave me a look; Helena had been my client once herself. Telling her she was different from all the others somehow never carried weight.
The woman in search of the lost doggie had had more money than sense and astounding looks. My professional ethics were of course unimpeachable-but I had certainly considered making a play for her. At the time big brother Festus had convinced me that tangling with the moneyed classes was a bad idea. Now Marina's words cast a subtle doubt. I gazed at her. She giggled. She obviously assumed I had known what was going on; now I finally saw the reason Festus had advised me to steer clear of the pretty dog owner: he had been bedding her himself.
'Actually,' I told Helena gloomily, 'it was Festus who found the bloody dog.'
'Of course it was,' Marina piped in. 'He had it tied up at my house all along. I was livid. Festus pinched it from the baths so he could get to know the fancy skirt.' My brother, the hero! 'Didn't you twig?'
'Ah Marcus!' Helena soothed me, at her kindest (not so kind as all that). 'I bet you never got your bill paid either?'
True.
I was feeling abused.
'Look, when you two have finished mocking, I have things to do today-'
'Of course you have,' smiled Helena, as if she was suggesting I should hide in a barrel for a few hours until my blushes cooled.
'That's right. Repolishing my grimy reputation won't be a quick job.' It was best to be straight with her, especially when she was sounding facetious but looking as if she was trying to remember where she last put the vial of rat poison.
I kissed Marcia resoundingly and gave the child back to her mother. 'Thanks for the hospitality. If you remember anything helpful, let me know at once. I'm due for the public strangler otherwise.' Helena stood up. I put my arm round her shoulders and said to Marina, 'As you see, my time should really be being taken up by this lovely girl.'