Cait eased back in her chair. “God…”
“You were always working, Cait, especially our senior year—and that is not to put anything on you. That was the way we were. It’s just … you were always so busy, and I was busy, and then one night … you went to visit your parents for Presidents’ Day weekend because they were finally home for a little while? I was sitting in our quad, Teresa was out, Greg was gone … and I don’t know what … exactly it was, but I got up and put my coat on, and I walked across campus at ten o’clock at night. I went to the library that night, and she was there. And that was … what happened. About two weeks after that was when I spoke with you. Margot and I had not been together by that time, but I knew where things were headed, I knew that … Christ, Cait, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”
“I believe that,” she said hoarsely. “I do.”
“And you know, the reason I called you before we announced, and why I’m calling you now? I’ve embarrassed you enough. I don’t want you to ever be on the receiving end of unexpected news again—at least not that has to do with me. Even though it was how many years ago, I’ve never gotten over that whole thing with us, Cait. It was a blessing to meet Margot, but a curse, too. She’s my other half, but I had to hurt … you.”
As tears welled, it wasn’t from grief. More from a sense that in reality, they had both hurt each other, in their own ways. And though she had never wished him ill per se, the idea that he hadn’t waltzed away into the arms of some hot new love free and clear made her feel like it was more equitable, somehow.
“I’m really glad you called,” she said. “I truly am.”
Thom exhaled long and slow. “I’ve wanted to explain myself for a long time. But not from a self-serving point of view, more because I honestly still care about you. And I always will.”
Cait smiled sadly, remembering how the two of them could spend hours studying side by side. They had been the perfect companions, and she’d been looking for stability back then. But was that true love?
Not like he’d found with Margot.
“You take care of yourself, Thom.”
“You, too, Cait.”
As she ended the call, she stared at her phone.
It was good to know he was as decent as she’d thought he was. He’d avoided his truth for a good year … and then it had just been his time, she supposed. And yes, the whole thing had been heartbreaking, the trauma of losing what she’d planned her life to be, that artificial structure she had created herself but called destiny, absolutely crushing. But she had always wondered whether or not he had been the man she’d assumed she knew.
He was.
The only thing that could have been worse? Learning that all along, through the course of their relationship, he had been nothing but a lie.
Plus, now that she had met Duke? She understood what Thom meant. Sometimes … you just crossed paths with someone irresistible, and depending on your circumstance? It could be devastating.
In her case? She was single, and that was a good thing. How would she have felt if she’d run into the likes of Duke … and been in a relationship?
On that note, Cait glanced at her clock. Four thirty-nine.
For most of her life, she would have forced herself to sit still for the remaining six minutes. Now? Screw that.
It was time to get ready.
Shutting down her workstation, she headed for the second floor, and it was as she threw on her shower and let all her clothes dump on the floor again that she realized … yes, in fact, she was probably going through exactly what had happened to Thom.
For years, she hadn’t been prepared to cut him any slack. And when he’d called to say they were pregnant? She had turned to her diet and the gym to crush all the emotions that had come up.
But now? After talking to him downstairs?
A weight had been lifted off of her, and the relief she had been seeking in all kinds of other outlets settled through her, a balm that ushered in with it the sort of peace that had seemed impossible to achieve.
Interesting. She and her mom and dad disagreed about a lot. But if this was the forgiveness they advocated? It was freedom from your own pain.
And that was a very, very good thing.
Cait tried not to be on time. Unfortunately, old habits died hard, and she was three minutes early. After eyeing the Riverside Diner’s parking lot, she decided to drive on by and waste some time going around the block for a while.
Six ten. That was her sweet spot. Not too early, not too late.
At the allotted moment in history—not that she was blowing this out of proportion or anything, she pulled her SUV into the parking area and found a spot. It was kind of a surprise to be so nervous as she looked around for his truck.
Not in the lot: From what she could see thanks to a combination of streetlights and the fading glow of the sunset’s last gasp, there were ten or twelve vehicles and a couple of motorcycles. No trucks.
Maybe he was fashionably late, too.
Getting out and locking up, she headed for the entrance, her stomach doing that butterfly thing she’d heard about, but never experienced before. And like her brain didn’t want to be left out of the flutter-party, all sorts of random nonsense were jumping through her head, none of the thoughts sticking, her skull like a child’s bouncy castle filled with balls.
Pulling open the doors, she walked into a traditional fifties diner, red Naugahyde booths going down one side, a counter with stools across the aisle, a serving setup and flap doors into the kitchen behind that.
Duke wasn’t in the booths, although several men looked up at her arrival and did a double take—something that had happened on campus today as well. Yup, blonds definitely got more attention, but she wasn’t sure about the fun, especially if tonight’s date ended up not happening. Which would be two evenings in a row. Although at least there was a good chance she wouldn’t get chased into an elevator—
There he was.
Through the arches that led into the other dining room, he was at a booth by the back exit, facing out, staring right at her.
He didn’t smile. Or wave. Or sit a little straighter.
But his burning eyes ate her up, the impact of that stare flushing away everything that was between them—the tables, the waitresses, the other patrons, the distance across a red carpeted floor.
It was just as it had been when they’d looked at each other in the café parking lot.
As Cait walked over to him, she found that her body moved differently, a sensual feeling infusing her legs and hips and breasts with a slow-boil heat that she wanted to turn up.
“Hi,” she said, her voice deeper than usual.
“You look good.” His eyes dipped down her. “Really good.”
“Thanks. You, too.” Although he could have been wearing a seventies lounge suit and she probably would have drooled over the polyester.
Sliding in opposite him, she took off her coat and was acutely aware of the way her breasts moved against the fine material of her blouse—and so was he. Now he changed positions, moving around as if impatient.
Or maybe uncomfortable thanks to an … um, yeah.
And that was totally hot.
Without further conversation, he extended his hand across the tabletop, palm up, and in reply, she put hers on top of his immediately.