He tsked. “Jesus Christ, when did you get so naive?”
Instead of slamming her head against the brick wall of profitability, Jessica changed tack. “My readers aren’t going to care after the election results come in tonight. It’s the hot topic at the moment, sure, but the outcome changes nothing. What does it matter who’s president anyway? Everyone says the same thing. Congress is just going to sit on their collective do-nothing asses. The figurehead occupying the Oval Office is small change.”
“Jessica, this has nothing do with the individual candidate. This, like everything else, is all about money. Do you have any idea how much has been spent on these two campaigns? Add in the PACS on top of the direct donations and we’re at two billion dollars for each contender. Wars have been fought and nations conquered for less than this election cost. Do you really think people, especially the power-brokering types involved here, are just going to write off a multi-billion dollar investment without a fight? I don’t know how it’ll all go down, but my gut says the real campaign is just beginning.”
He downed his coffee like a shot and hooted.
“I’m telling you, this is going to be an epic story and it’s going to happen with or without you. Will you be a part of it, or just watch on television like everyone else?”
As disgusted as she was, Jessica was still a professional. She kicked his desk and grunted. “Fine. When do I leave?”
Los Angeles
The experts on the bi-partisan panel were in top form. Each talking head was carefully screened to ensure only the most radical pundits were available. The famous talk show hadn’t climbed the charts by indulging in moderation. The producer’s last minute change to the lineup, by replacing that boring constitutional law professor with a more media savvy ex-politician made the difference. Ratings were up a good two points higher than expected.
“The election results are neither unconstitutional nor without precedent. As I wrote in my new book, the Dark Side of Power, available at all major retailers for only $29.99, this has happened twice before in American electoral history. In 1800 and 1824, neither candidate won a majority in the Electoral College. In accordance with the 12th Amendment, the House of Representatives chose the next president, just like they’ll have to do now.”
The debate moderator didn’t bother pointing out that no one claimed the election outcome was either unconstitutional or new. It wasn’t his job to keep the talking heads grounded. Only to keep them arguing. He stoked the coals some more.
“So, a Republican will be chosen by the Republican majority in Congress and the Democrats just have to take it?”
A disgraced former congressman gesticulated the loudest, which meant he got the camera close up. “Absolutely not! Senator Dimone might not have won the electoral majority, but he received far more votes than Scott’s running mate. We cannot allow the Republicans to upturn democracy and install Mr. Pierce into the Oval Office against the will of the voters. This is the defining moment of our age. My fellow Democratic colleagues have a mandate from the people to make sure the right-wing fascists can’t steal this election like they have so many others. We’ll fight tooth and nail for the honor of our republic!”
An ultra-conservative, ex-politico turned reality TV star grabbed the spotlight. “Reallly? That’s exactly why we need to have faith in our conservative leaders. We can’t let these iddy biddy, left-wing communists derail the democratic process. The government has been lying and spying for eight years now. I say it’s time for freedom to stop dying and time for Washington to start crying!”
The debate moderator wasn’t sure what the hell she was talking about, but it got a standing ovation from the audience regardless. He tried to give her time for another sound bite when the unthinkable happened. Despite his reputation as a kook, the old Libertarian masquerading as a Republican dropped some buzz kill bombs.
“This whole argument is irrelevant anyway. This decision won’t be decided along party lines. The Republican majority was always pretty slim. The swing votes will be coming from the dozens of incoming congressional members. By the Constitution’s rules, only the new Congress gets a voice. This all-important vote will be their first taste of power. You can bet the outgoing politicians will be bitter, and oh boy, how! They’ll do whatever they can to influence this historic decision they legally can’t make. Mark my words, this will be a ‘corrupt bargain’ the likes of which our country has never seen. Democracy will be the loser, regardless of who wins the White House.”
The moderator was totally unprepared for this onslaught of reckless logic. He expected the old man to babble on about gold or the banking system or something. Thankfully, the producer in his control booth was always ready. He cut the uncomfortably accurate “crazy” man’s mike and switched the camera to the conservative, but feisty ex-vice president. The audience went back to cheering or booing while the experts grew even more provocative.
The show was saved.
Washington, DC
Jessica kept her smile and pretended not to understand the congressman’s not-so-subtle sexual innuendo. This was her fourth interview with a House member in the last week. She was getting used to the gentle harassment by now. Her curves and not being part of the usual Washington reporter crowd greased the wheels of exclusive access. The downside was looks and novelty attracted these Type A personalities like buzzards to road kill.
“That’s nice, sir, but let’s go back a bit. It’s just that many people are shocked to see the House select Congressman Scott’s running mate for president. Pierce is a Libertarian, after all. This would be the first third-party president since the 1850’s. During the campaign you yourself spoke, shall we say… critically about him. You accused his deceased predecessor of selling out the party. I think my readers are confused. Why the sudden change of heart, sir?”
The young man’s well-rehearsed lines still came off naturally. He was good, she had to give him that much. He tore his eyes from her legs and poured on the dimples. “In times of crisis, our leaders must put aside partisanship bickering and do what’s right for the country. We’ve reached a grand compromise that looks after the interests of both parties and best serves the American people. If only Senator Dimone would accept that and respect the will of the people. His continued legal challenges are an affront to democracy and are dangerous attempts to usurp the lawful transfer of presidential power.”
Jessica let him drone on about the other candidate for a few minutes. You couldn’t interrupt an interviewee of this caliber. She had to admit, the whole thing was a masterful display of public oratory. He stayed 100 % on message, never deviating from the talking points and buzzwords his media people vetted in focus groups, yet he still twisted a display of “bipartisanship” into a diatribe about the opposition. Impressive, even if it gave no real information.
“Yes sir, all of your colleagues have given me the same reasons. Verbatim. I was hoping you might be able to speak more… frankly. With all due respect, this is your first term. You’ve been in office barely two weeks. You don’t have the, ah, political entanglements of some veteran members. Far from losing any political capital, you stand to gain the respect of the nation if you could shed some light on the behind-the-scenes negotiations that went on.”