“Any federal bureaucrat that fails to comply will be considered a traitor to the Constitution and subject to detention. To enforce the will of the people, I have called up the people’s watchmen: the mighty Florida National Guard. Our brave men and women in uniform stand prepared to restore the honor of America by any means necessary!”
Except for those confused and incredulous, “brave men and women in uniform,” most of the state cheered. Governors in other states were infuriated that their Florida counterpart beat them yet again to central prominence on the national political stage.
Within hours, a dozen states would follow through with similar proclamations, but these Jonny-come-lately’s wouldn’t get the same level of news saturation Florida bathed in. Their government shutdowns were only hot air. Who would go so far as actually mobilizing troops to back such a bluff, like Florida promised?
No, there was only one story worth following for the national media, and it was a story they latched onto like a deer tick.
In a corner of that large White House meeting room, Senator Dimone conferred in whispers with his handlers. One of his people flashed him some hasty poll results. Results so fresh the pollsters were still on the phone with many of the interviewees.
The sitting president ignored Dimone’s team and lectured the room. “Ok, what an interesting show, but it changes nothing. His symbolic actions are blatantly illegal and won’t stand up in court. Just like all of his stunts. Let’s get back to work. We are agreed then, yes? Dimone will bow out of the race and Pierce will take over. After his first term, Pierce will not run for reelection and will throw his support behind Dimone four years down the road.”
No one nodded, but no one shook their heads either.
“The Senate will also fast track all of Pierce’s appointees in exchange for help with certain legislation Dimone sponsored, well, you two already worked out the details there. Finally, my vice president, cabinet and myself will resign immediately. Tomorrow morning.” He seriously looked relieved when he added, “Thank God, this stuff won’t be my problem any longer!”
No one showed any satisfaction with the arrangement, which only proved how great their 11th hour compromise was. With all sides pissed off, it must be a fair deal.
Actually, one person in the room could still smile. Senator Dimone stood tall, rolled his sleeves back down and tried to hide his excitement. His entourage followed suit.
He purposely avoided the term, “Mr. President,” as he looked him straight in the eyes. “Sir, in light of the current situation I cannot, in good conscious, ignore my responsibilities to the American people. I’m afraid I will not abdicate my duty to assume the presidency upon your removal from office.”
“That’s not going to—”
Few people interrupt the president, but then again, even fewer try to take his job. “Sir, I’ve been invited to attend an emergency impeachment vote, which will likely turn out differently than the previous ones. I hope there are no hard feelings; this is nothing personal. It would be classy of you to attend my swearing-in ceremony tomorrow.”
The president was not so easily shaken. “Come on, you can’t hang your hat on that rhetoric. Governor Rhett talks a good game, but some games aren’t about talk. Something he hasn’t figured out yet. That speech was a plateful of warm disaster with a side dish of stupid. We have a deal that you agreed on. It’s time to end this self-imposed crisis and get the country back to normal!”
“Then follow the will of the people and resign, sir. You’ve already split our party; stop this stubbornness before you split the nation. I await your decision. Good night, gentlemen.” He and his people left without another word.
The other two supposed presidents continued arguing inconclusively throughout the night, ignoring everything going on down south. The only thing they agreed on was to have Congress exercise their 23rd Amendment power and officially extend the president’s term an additional week. It at least held off the legal grounds for the president’s impeachment a little longer. Kicking the can down the road was the strongest agreement they could reach.
Few in Washington paid any attention that night to the swamp rats down in Florida. Let them play their games. What could it harm?
Chapter 2
Florida National Guard Headquarters
St. Augustine, Florida
Within hours of the governor’s “historic” announcement, hundreds of National Guard troops fanned out across Florida to lock down high profile government offices. Being a Saturday, calling up the men wasn’t easy, but the confused part-time soldiers still carried out their senseless operation with surprising speed. The Florida Guard colonel running this circus nearly burst with pride. Not over his soldiers, of course, but over his exceptional leadership skills and farsighted planning.
For such a self-centered man, he did have a gift for guessing what made others tick. He instinctively knew which subordinate leaders needed firing up with pep talks about defending their freedom from tyranny. He sweetly reasoned with the quiet skeptics that someone had to keep the mobs at bay and protect federal lives and property. The scared, he buoyed with assurances of how quick and bloodless this deployment would be. The veterans groaned at that bad luck curse, but they soldiered up anyway.
Colonel Beauregard alone made the decision to fully equip and arm each soldier as if this were a real campaign. What a striking figure he made giving a rousing speech while personally helping to distribute live ammo to his confused troops. If only those pricks at the Pentagon could see him now.
Beauregard never forgot all their conspiring to keep him from getting promoted to general or all those bullshit accusations and then easing him into the Guard when he refused to take it quietly. Oh, he was going to show all his imaginary enemies. Once this silly crisis passed, who would be the most famous, soon-to-be general in America?
It didn’t matter much that the governor, let alone anyone in his chain of command, had never given permission to launch this “mission.” His orders were to simply mobilize his forces and pose for the cameras. No, Patton had it right: “Audacity, audacity, always audacity.” Fortune favors the bold and all that jazz.
Since Beauregard was some type of Caesar/Patton reincarnated hybrid super leader, it required ever-larger feats of daring to maintain his ego’s sense of self-worth. What else could a man like him do when presented with such a unique opportunity?
His leaders in Tallahassee asked themselves a similar question. Telling him to stand down was an embarrassing admission of losing control, if not signaling outright defeat. The news clucked over hordes of anti-government protestors, already fired up by the governor’s rhetoric, hitting the streets with even more fury after the Guard call up. In the high octane, low responsibility world of American politics it was better to be seen as crazy than weak.
While privately cursing Beauregard, state politicians and senior Guard officers fell over each other publically praising him. They all tried even harder than the last to claim credit for forcibly shutting down the “illegitimate” government. To millions of sympathetic viewers, the National Guard’s hawkishness offered a positive, realistic chance to halt government overreach. To millions of others, this unified front offered a shocking glimpse into the flaming abyss of anarchy.