The surface under her buttocks seemed to get warmer. She wiggled, realized the heat was all over, and undid her parka, only then noticing that everyone else had already done the same. A steam or mist seemed to be rising all around them, hiding the people on the other end of this crescent. She didn't think the body heat of even so many people could have such an effect on this huge cavern.
Sean was watching her, a half smile curving his lips as if he expected, and was pleased by, her actions.
"So? What now?" she asked, leaning into his strong shoulder so that only he heard her.
"Relax, Yanaba. Just take it easy, and take it all in. We're including Petaybee in the latchkay and introducing you. In a moment the planet will respond-just accept it, okay?" His lips barely moved, but she heard each word distinctly. His fingers flicked out in a subtle gesture.
That was when she became aware of the change in the lighting. Whether it was a trick of the mist or not, the lambency had taken a deeper, golden hue, and through her tailbone she felt a vibration. Conversations died off, and a respectful silence spread. Clodagh seemed to elongate from coccyx to poll. Bunny, too, straightened her spine. Much as she wanted to, Yana could not turn her head to see if Scan was responding, for she herself was caught up in whatever it was. And what was it? she asked herself, as she felt each vertebra in her back stiffening. Vibration and warmth pulsed up her spine to her brain stem. Then she was taking deep breaths, inhaling from the gut, filling her lungs-lungs that could now expand to full capacity with neither pain nor wheeze.
She had the weirdest sensation that her brain was expanding, too, the scalp lifting from her head bones-not at all an uncomfortable feeling; more as if she was lightening up all over. Of their own accord her eyes closed-so that she could concentrate on these internal expansions. She was aware, too, of her blood flowing in her veins, juices moving throughout her organs, as if some agency was cleansing her inside out-the way one inflated a mattress, a survival bubble tent, or the tire of a ground-effects machine. There was no pain or discomfort involved-only this sense of being filled in every physical crevice and bodily cavity, this lightening.
She was then inexplicably aware of a different sensation: one of completeness, one of belonging, one of perception and acceptance beyond her physical self. She fought that briefly, lost, and was rewarded with a euphoria she had never experienced even in her closest moments with Bry. It was like, yet unlike, orgasm; inexpressibly satisfying and rewarding. She exhaled slowly-for the lightening feeling had apparently occurred during the course of her one deep inhalation. Immediately she pulled air into her lungs again, wishing to achieve that almost vertiginous state of full extension, that delicious lightening, that… quasi-mystic belongingness.
Something very gentle, like a feather flicking dust from a delicate surface, flowed across her mind, chiding her for being greedy. All she really needed would be given.
Yana blinked her eyes open, for the thought was alien to her: it had been implanted in her mind. She blinked again. The mist had dissipated. And so had the people who had accompanied her to the cavern. Clodagh was gone, Bunny and Diego, Sinead and Aisling! Before she could panic, there was pressure against her right shoulder.
"I'm here," Sean said, a ripple of laughter in his low voice. When she turned her head, his silver eyes caught hers and then he nodded. Exhaling a totally worldly sigh, she let herself sag, no longer upheld by whatever had had her in its thrall. She felt a shaft of regret for what was no longer in touch with her.
"How long?" she asked Sean, gesturing about her.
"How long did it feel?" he asked, taking her hand in his warm one.
"Like one deep breath."
He nodded again, his eyes slightly hooded, but his smile was full of satisfaction. Then he held her hand up, examining it closely before he turned it palm up and kissed it. She could not control the shudder that crackled up her spine. He laid her palm against his warm cheek and made eye contact.
"It was more than one breath, wasn't it?" she asked.
He nodded, and she could tell from his caution that the time that had passed had been much longer than he felt it safe to admit, before gauging her reaction.
Slowly, carefully, sorting through her memory of the experience and her reactions, reaching the logical conclusion of something that defied logic, she asked, "You people weren't just being poetic when you said Petaybee is alive, were you? It is, isn't it? And it-it hypnotizes you or puts you in a trance or something. Like Diego?"
Sean nodded. "Most of the time it's like it was for you and for Diego, but for those too rigid to accept the possibilities, it can be extremely traumatic-induce shock, madness, even death. Not just with outworlders. You may have noticed young Terce, the other snocle chauffeur?"
Yana nodded. She hadn't seen much of Terce since she had arrived, but she remembered Bunny saying the boy wasn't too bright.
"He didn't react well to this experience. Most children easily accept it, but Terce… Maybe he just had too linear a turn of mind or something, but it terrified him and he's never tried again. He sometimes lurks on the edge of the latchkays but he won't join in. But there was no malice involved-just a… lack of communication." He shrugged. "There's much more to this planet than instrumentation can detect, Yanaba. You've experienced a central part of it tonight."
"A rite of passage?" She wanted to sound skeptical or cynical or even facetious, but that wasn't the way her words sounded even in her own ears. She dropped her voice to a whisper. "I passed?"
Scan laughed with such real mirth that she had to grin. Then he pulled her against him, arms tightly cradling her body to his chest, rocking both of them back and forth.
"What do you think?" he asked teasingly.
"I don't know what to think. I'm not exactly the religious type…"
"Religion has nothing to do with it, Yana. We weren't worshiping. The planet is alive. It's only courteous to communicate. There's-a relationship involved," he said, quite lightly and happily. She realized that he was more relieved than he cared to admit that she had come through her-introduction-without trouble. He continued his rather nonchalant explanation while draped around her, nibbling her ear. "The company wants us to think that everything on the planet came from them, but that's not the case.
This planet has a mind, and has developed resources, of its own. Living here, most of us know that and accept the gifts, the protection, and in return, we offer it companionship and-I don't know, expression, I suppose."
"But why? Why does it not only accept you but give you so much? If it really is a living, thinking being, it could as well resent you for occupying its surface. What does the planet get out of you-us-being here?"
He smiled lazily again and ran his finger the length of her spine. "Scientifically speaking? I haven't a clue. But I do have a theory: I think that the reason probably is-maybe-that Petay-bee likes us."
"That's it? It provides for you, lets you live here and allows you this…" She searched for a word. "This blissful form of communication just because it likes you?"