Effrom has having trouble breathing. His chest was growing tighter with each breath. He slid off the bed to the floor.
“Don’t die, old man. I have questions for you. You can’t imagine how pissed I’ll be if you die now.”
Effrom’s mind was a white blur. His chest was on fire. He sensed someone talking to him, but he couldn’t understand the words. He tried to speak, but no words would come. Finally he found a breath. “I’m sorry, Amanda. I’m sorry,” he gasped.
The monster crawled into the room and laid a hand on Effrom’s chest. Effrom could feel the hand, hard and scaly, through his pajamas. He gave up.
“No!” the monster shouted. “You will not die!”
Effrom was no longer in the room. He was sitting on a hill in England, watching the shadow of death floating toward him across the fields. This time the zeppelin was coming for him, not the base. He sat on the hill and waited to die. I’m sorry, Amanda.
“No, not tonight.”
Who said that? He was alone on the hill. Suddenly he became aware of a searing pain in his chest. The shadow of the airship began to fade, then the whole English countryside dissolved. He could hear himself breathing. He was back in the bedroom.
A warm glow filled his chest. He looked up and saw the monster looming over him. The pain in his chest subsided. He grabbed one of the monster’s claws and tried to pry it from his chest, but it remained fast, not biting into the flesh, just laid upon it.
The monster spoke to him: “You were doing so good with the gun and everything. I was thinking, ‘This old fuck really has some gumption.’ Then you go and start drooling and wheezing and ruining a perfectly good first impression. Where’s your self-respect?”
Effrom felt the warmth on his chest spreading to his limbs. His mind wanted to switch off, dive under the covers of unconsciousness and hide until daylight, but something kept bringing him back.
“Now, that’s better, isn’t it?” The monster removed his hand and backed to the corner of the bedroom, where he sat cross-legged looking like the Buddha of the lizards. His pointy ears scraped against the ceiling when he turned his head.
Effrom looked at the door. The monster was perhaps eight feet away from it. If he could get through it, maybe… How fast could a beast that size move in the confines of the house?
“Your jammies are all wet,” the monster said. “You should change or you’ll catch your death.”
Effrom was amazed at the reality shift his mind had made. He was accepting this! A monster was in his house, talking to him, and he was accepting it. No, it couldn’t be real.
“You’re not real,” he said.
“Neither are you,” the monster retorted.
“Yes I am,” Effrom said, feeling stupid.
“Prove it,” the monster said.
Effrom lay on the bed thinking. Much of his fear had been replaced by a macabre sense of wonder.
He said: “I don’t have to prove it. I’m right here.”
“Sure,” the monster said, incredulously.
Effrom climbed to his feet. Upon rising he realized that the creak in his knees and the stiffness he had carried in his back for forty years were gone. Despite the strangeness of this situation, he felt great.
“What did you do to me?”
“Me? I’m not real. How could I do anything?”
Effrom realized he had backed himself into a metaphysical corner, from which the only escape was acceptance.
“All right,” he said, “you’re real. What did you do to me?”
“I kept you from croaking.”
Effrom made a connection at last. He had seen a movie about this: aliens who come to Earth with the power to heal. Granted, this wasn’t the cute little leather-faced, lightbulb-headed alien from the movie, but it was no monster. It was a perfectly normal person from another planet.
“So,” Effrom said, “do you want to use the phone or something?”
“Why?”
“To phone home. Don’t you want to phone home?”
“Don’t play with me, old man. I want to know why Travis was here this afternoon.”
“I don’t know anyone named Travis.”
“He was here this afternoon. You spoke with him — I saw it.”
“You mean the insurance man? He wanted to talk to my wife.”
The monster moved across the room so quickly that Effrom almost fell back on the bed to avoid him. His hopes of making it through the door dissolved in an instant. The monster loomed over him. Effrom could smell his fetid breath.
“He was here for the magic and I want it now, old man, or I’ll hang your entrails from the curtain rods.”
“He wanted to talk to the wife. I don’t know nothin’ about any magic. Maybe you should have landed in Washington. They run things from there.”
The monster picked Effrom up and shook him like a rag doll.
“Where is your wife, old man?”
Effrom could almost hear his brain rattling in his head. The monster’s hand squeezed the breath out of him. He tried to answer, but all he could produce was a pathetic croak.
“Where?” The monster threw him on the bed.
Effrom felt the air burn back into his lungs. “She’s in Monterey, visiting our daughter.”
“When will she be back? Don’t lie. I’ll know if you are lying.”
“How will you know?”
“Try me. Your guts should go well with this decor.”
“She’ll be home in the morning.”
“That’s enough,” the monster said. He grabbed Effrom by the shoulder and dragged him through the door. Effrom felt his shoulder pop out of its socket and a grinding pain flashed across his chest and back. His last thought before passing out was, God help me, I’ve killed the wife.
21
AUGUSTUS BRINE
“I found them. The car is parked in front of Jenny Masterson’s house.” Augustus Brine stormed into the house carrying a grocery bag in each arm.
Gian Hen Gian was in the kitchen pouring salt from a round, blue box into a pitcher of Koolaid.
Brine set the bags down on the hearth. “Help me bring some of this stuff in. There’s more bags in the truck.”
The genie walked to the fireplace and looked in the bags. One was filled with dry-cell batteries and spools of wire. The other was full of brown cardboard cylinders about four inches long and an inch in diameter. Gian Hen Gian took one of the cylinders out of the bag and held it up. A green, waterproof fuse extended from one end.
“What are these?”
“Seal bombs,” Brine said. “The Department of Fish and Game distributes them to fishermen to scare seals away from their lines and nets. I had a bunch at the store.”
“Explosives are useless against the demon.”
“There are five more bags in the truck. Would you bring them in, please?” Brine began to lay the seal bombs out in a line on the hearth. “I don’t know how much time we have.”
“What am I, some scrounging servant? Am I a beast of burden? Should I, Gian Hen Gian, king of the Djinn, be reduced to bearing loads for an ignorant mortal who would attack a demon from hell with firecrackers?”
“O King,” Brine said, exasperated, “please bring in the goddamn bags so I can finish this before dawn.”
“It is useless.”
“I’m not going to try to blow him up. I just want to know where he is. Unless you can use your great power to restrain him, O King of the Djinn.”
“You know I cannot.”
“The bags!”
“You are a stupid, mean-spirited man, Augustus Brine. I’ve seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.”
The genie walked out the door and his diatribe faded into the night. Brine was methodically wrapping the fuses of the seal bombs with thin monofilament silver wire designed to heat up when a current was applied. It was an inexact method of detonation, but Brine had no access to blasting caps at this hour of the morning.