“Delicious,” he said, after swallowing. “Ginger, stop begging.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Reminds me of my mother’s cooking.”
“Yes, it is a rather goyishe meal.” Rina turned red. “Oh my goodness, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Decker grinned, threw Ginger another piece of fat. “You meant it. You just didn’t mean to say it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize. You must be in a goyishe mood.”
Rina didn’t answer. Hannah started throwing peas. Decker said, “Young lady, we eat peas. We don’t use them for target practice.” He offered her a legume. “Eat.”
Hannah took it and threw it.
“She’s totally spoiled,” Jake said. “No discipline.”
“You threw peas, too,” Rina said. “Once, you put one up your nose…or maybe that was Sammy.”
Sam made a face. “Do we really have to talk about this?”
Hannah threw another pea. It landed on Jake’s shirt. “Eema, c’mon. Do something.”
Decker pushed the plate beyond his daughter’s reach. Hannah started squawking. “Are you going to behave?”
“I behave.”
“No throwing peas?”
“I no throw peas.”
“All right then.” Decker kissed her forehead and pulled his plate within her grasp. She reached for one, but stopped herself. “I no throw peas.”
“Very good, Hannah Rosie. You’re a very good girl.”
Within minutes, Decker’s plate was empty. Rina gave him seconds. “It’s nice that you’re home with us. Right, boys?”
Sammy smiled. “Thrilling.”
“That was very disrespectful,” Rina chided.
“It was a joke, Eema.”
Decker said, “It’s okay, Rina-”
“No, it’s not okay. Apologize, Shmuel. Right now.”
“I’m sorry.”
Decker said, “It’s fine.”
Sammy said, “What got into you?”
“Nothing got into me,” Rina snapped. “Look how you talk to me. You’re makbid on everything except the fifth commandment.”
The baby scooped a handful of peas and tossed them at Jacob. He jerked his chair back. “She is so disgusting.”
“Can you just have a little patience?” Rina yelled. “What is wrong with you two today? I spend thousands of dollars giving you both yeshiva educations and you both have the derech eretz of animals.”
Jacob sat back in his chair, opening his arms in protest. “What am I doing? I’m sitting here and she’s throwing food at me. Talk about derech eretz of animals.”
“She’s two and a half, Yaakov. You’re fourteen-”
“I don’t like food thrown in my face, do you mind?”
“Yes, I mind when you say she’s disgusting. I mind that a lot. She’s a baby, for goodness’ sake.”
Jacob sighed. “She’s not disgusting. She’s very cute.” He leaned over and gave his sister a kiss on the forehead. “You’re very cute.”
“I’m a good girl,” Hannah said proudly.
Jacob smiled. “Yes, you are a good girl. But you still shouldn’t throw peas.” He pushed his chair back and stood. “I’ve got homework. Thank you, Eema. Thank you, Dad. Excuse me.”
He walked away. Hannah threw a pea at him. Rina said, “Hannah, enough.”
Decker stood. “How about we set you up with a video, sweetheart?”
“Silly Songs.”
“Fine.”
“I’ll do it.” Rina relieved Decker of the baby. As soon as Rina turned her back, Sammy gave Decker a questioning look. Decker put his finger to his lips. A few minutes later, Rina returned, sat down, and started eating.
Sammy asked, “Are you all right, Eema?”
Rina looked up. “I just wish you kids would act more respectful. What would your-” She shoveled mashed potatoes into her mouth, then abruptly got up and went into the kitchen.
Decker said, “She’s had a hard day.”
“Obviously.” Sammy looked at his dirty plate. “Why is she thinking about Abba? It’s not his yahrzeit.”
Decker blew out air. Why did he get all the fun jobs? “She went to a funeral of a friend of his.”
“A friend of Abba’s died?”
“No, no.” Decker shook his head. Talk about Freudian slips. “His father died. The friend’s name is Abram Sparks.”
Sammy thought a moment, shook his head. “Don’t remember him.”
“He’s a priest.”
“Oh…” Sammy sat up. “You must mean Bram. I remember Bram. He was a real nice guy.”
“Who was?” Rina said.
“Abba’s friend Bram.”
Rina glared at Decker. He said, “You want to be mad, be mad. I think he’s entitled to know what’s going on, okay.”
Rina barked, “Why don’t you just-…have some more pot roast.”
Decker stifled a smile. “Thank you, I think I will.”
Rina smiled and sat down. “Fine! So will I!”
“You two are so strange sometimes,” Sammy said. “I know, I know. Honoring your parents. Kibud av v’aim. I’ll work on it. So Bram’s father died. That’s too bad. Should I send him a card or something?”
Rina stared at her son as if he had uttered Greek. “That would be very nice, Shmueli. I think he’d like that very much.”
To Decker, Sammy said, “He went with us to Disneyland for my…sixth birthday?”
“What a memory you have,” Rina said.
“Yeah, it was the high point of that year.” Sammy’s voice cracked. “You know, I always meant to ask you this, Eema. I remember having a fit because you wouldn’t let me have a hot dog.”
“Yes, I remember that well.”
“I mean, I really had a fit.”
“Yes, you had a very big one.”
“Then…like a couple hours later…after I forgot all about it…you got me and Yonkie…like a dozen hot dogs. Where’d they come from?”
Rina’s eyes turned soft. “Bram went back into town and got them at the kosher deli.”
Sammy said, “He went from Anaheim to L.A., then back again to Anaheim just for hot dogs? That’s like an hour-and-a-half trip.”
“Closer to two and a half hours with traffic,” Rina said. “It was your birthday. He wanted you to be happy. If he had told me his plan, I would have said no. But he didn’t tell me. Just took the car and said he’d be back later.”
She smiled.
“I was furious with him for disappearing. I was left alone for over two hours with two very cranky boys. Demanding this and whining about that-”
“We weren’t that bad,” Sammy said.
“It wasn’t your fault. I was cranky, too. By that time, I was so exhausted, I just wanted to go home. Lunch had been long eaten and we were all starving. Bram was nowhere in sight. Then all of a sudden…”
Rina let out a small laugh.
“I see this guy walking toward us, wearing a cassock.”
She laughed again.
“You’re not allowed to bring food into Disneyland. Bram had changed into a cassock so he could conceal the hot dogs under his skirt. He figured no one would stop and frisk a priest. Even though he had grown an enormous stomach and was reeking of garlic.”
“That’s right…” Sammy squinted, trying to recall the image. “That’s right. He was wearing normal clothes when we started out.”
“I was ready to kill him,” Rina said. “But the sight of him walking toward us with this pregnant belly was so comical. He brought me into a corner, pulled out the hot dogs…like he was selling me drugs.” She paused. “I almost forgot to wash, that’s how hungry we all were. We ate and ate and ate and ate. Plus, we got real A-one treatment after that. The ride lines parted for us like the Red Sea. The boys were thrilled.”
Decker said, “Respect for the clergy.”
“Now I know why people impersonate police officers or priests. One woman there…” Rina laughed again. “She pulled Bram aside, told him she needed to make an on-the-spot confession. Nothing could dissuade her. Since Bram hadn’t taken his orders, he wasn’t allowed to hear confession. He didn’t know what to do.”