Fern grimaced. The mixed blessings of medicine! It was the hardest lesson of being a doctor-that there were times when you just couldn’t win.
‘Do you know why he was out of his mum’s pouch?’ she asked gently. ‘Was his mum injured?’
‘I don’t know.’ Jessie was leading the way through the hospital corridor into the kitchen as she talked, ignoring Fern’s obvious reluctance. ‘Actually, they’re the babies that are the hardest ones to save-when there’s no obvious reason for them being abandoned. Even if I get them to adulthood, often I find something wrong-some defect that the mother sensed but I didn’t. This one may have been dumped for such a reason.’
‘So you’ve been awake nights for nothing,’ Fern ventured, seeing the deepening of the shadows on Jessie’s face.
‘I wouldn’t say that.’ Jessie stooped down and lifted the little wallaby Fern had helped Quinn feed from his pouch by the stove. ‘At least I tried. And I’m succeeding with this one. You don’t mind if I feed while I talk?’
‘Go right ahead.’ Fern sat down at the kitchen table and found herself immediately holding an armful of blanketed joey.
‘Quinn tells me you’re an expert already.’ Jess gave a forced smile. ‘If you feed Walter while I talk then I can prepare formula for my echidna at the same time.’ She handed over the tiny plastic bottle. ‘All yours, Dr Rycroft.’
It was all Walter’s. The joey saw the bottle coming, opened his mouth and sucked with fury. He nestled back in Fern’s arms in contented bliss while Jessie fiddled with mixtures on the bench.
It was as if she was buying time.
Fern watched, forcing herself to be patient, as Jessie finished stirring her formula, placed it in the fridge and then lifted a can of cat food from the shelf.
‘Cat food?’ Fern queried faintly. ‘Surely you don’t have a cat? There’s not one on the island-is there?’
‘It’s for my little rosella,’ Jessie told her, gesturing to the young parrot in the cage in the corner. ‘I use cat food and high protein baby cereal in equal proportions, mixed with a little calcium and multi-vitamin drops. It feeds him beautifully.’
‘So what medical textbook does that come from?’
‘No book, unfortunately,’ Jessie grimaced. ‘Trial and error.’ Jessie crossed to the cage and opened it, lifting the little parrot out and gently offering it the food. The rosella knew what was coming. The food went into his crop easily: he swallowed and looked for more.
Whatever Jessie wanted was taking a long time to surface.
‘Why did you want to see me?’ Fern said at last. Jessie’s back was to her, her attention seemingly all on the rosella, and Fern couldn’t see her face. She sensed tension, though-tension and distress.
‘Quinn says…Quinn says he’s asked you to stay-and you won’t because of me.’
Fern drew in her breath. Jess was still turned away, her shoulders hunched in misery, and Fern’s heart turned over.
How could Quinn do this?
‘That’s not true,’ Fern said steadily. ‘Quinn’s your husband, Jess. He has no right…no right at all to say that to you. It’s horrid and hurtful and…and it’s just not true.’ Her voice trailed off to nothing.
‘It’s not like…It’s not like we’ve a normal marriage,’ Jess whispered sadly, as though she hadn’t heard what Fern had said. The rosella was back on his perch and she stroked him with a gentle finger. ‘Quinn and I…Well, we’ve been friends for ever. He was my cousin before we married. And the marriage…Well, it seemed like an extension of the friendship, really. We do everything separately, though, Fern. If he wanted…if he wants to be with you then I don’t have the right…I don’t have the right to stop him.’
‘You do have the right,’ Fern said savagely. The tiny joey started in her arms and she forced her voice to remain even. ‘Quinn’s your husband. He’s not my husband. He doesn’t want to divorce you-does he?’
‘No.’ Jess shook her head. ‘But there are reasons,’ she said miserably. ‘There are reasons why we can’t divorce-yet. He wouldn’t have told me about you except I guessed. I’ve never seen him lit up like this before, Fern. Like he’s alive. He’s not like that with me.’
‘He doesn’t know me,’ Fern said softly.
‘If I went away…’ The words were being forced out, one after another. ‘If I went away,’ Jessie faltered, ‘would you marry him?’
‘No!’ It was a cry from the heart but instinctively Fern knew that it was true. Sure, Jessie could leave but what basis was that for a marriage between Quinn and Fern? Like murder…
It had the same awful feel.
‘It’s me who’s leaving, Jessie,’ Fern said savagely, tight with anger. Her words firmed as she felt how right they were. Quinn had no business putting this girl through the misery she was facing. If he was here…She’d like to slap his arrogant face, she thought bitterly-somehow make him realise what he was doing to his lovely young wife. What she felt for him was some sort of sick aberration. It had nothing to do with love. ‘I’m leaving on Friday.’
‘Leaving…?’
‘I live in Sydney. That’s where I’m going.’
‘But…but Quinn wants you to stay.’
‘And so do my aunt and uncle.’ Fern lifted the now empty bottle from the little joey’s mouth and spent a long time settling him back in his pouch. ‘But that doesn’t mean I belong on the island. My life-my career-are back in Sydney and that’s where I’m going. Whatever crazy notions Quinn has about me-well, that’s all they are. Crazy…’
‘He kissed you-the night of the shark attack.’
‘He did,’ Fern said grimly. ‘And for my pains, I let him. I was exhausted, mentally wrung out and I didn’t know he was married. One kiss between strangers. Whatever Quinn likes to think about it, that’s all there was to it. So…so you and Quinn have to decide what to do about your marriage but leave me out of the equation, Jess. No matter what you do, I don’t belong here.’
I don’t belong…
The old familiar words. They had lost none of their gall in the years since she’d first thought them.
‘OK.’ Jessie’s voice had lost none of its sadness. ‘But I would have liked…I wish, for Quinn’s sake…’
She broke off and turned to face Fern, her eyes steady.
‘I’d like Quinn to be happy,’ she said firmly, and her eyes held Fern’s with a strength Fern hadn’t known the girl possessed. ‘But when you say, “leave me out of it”…well, that’s true for me as well. Quinn and I…Well, we have solid reasons for staying married for another few months or so. But after that, Fern…after that we’ll go our separate ways and Quinn’s free to do as he wishes. I just wanted you to know that. In case it makes a difference.’
How could it make a difference?
It couldn’t make a difference at all.
‘There are solid reasons for staying married for another few months or so…’
Fern returned to her car slowly, her mind turning over and over what she’d been told.
It didn’t make sense.
Unless Jess was pregnant?
That was on the cards, too, Fern thought grimly, thinking of Jessie’s exhausted look. She’d seen that look occasionally on girls who suffered badly from morning sickness.
What a mess!
Well, whatever the mess, she wanted out.
She steered the car out of the hospital car park and slowed.
There was a man…
Fern frowned.
Surely she was imagining things. She slowed as she passed an area of deep bush two hundred yards from the hospital entrance. The figure she had seen had disappeared.
You’re crazy…
No.
Her internal conversation lasted the whole of five seconds. Swearing, she hauled the car to a halt, did a U-turn and headed back to the little township half a mile on the other side of the hospital.