"If… If you were like that beast, I wouldn't be up here with you, Roger. No, it's not so much because of him…"
"What then?" he asked plaintively. "You don't even like me, is that it?"
"I didn't say that! I couldn't say that!" she replied sincerely. She tried to think of something to say, something besides the truth that would inalterably kill any chance of them ever being together. "It's a reason of my own, and I simply can't tell you… yet." A hurting lump crept into her throat, and she could only stammer, never having felt so inadequate in her life. "I… I wish I could explain better; but… but I simply can't, Roger. I'm terribly, terribly sorry, believe me…"
"Well, I guess if you say no, you mean no," he said, shaking his head sadly. He managed a feeble grin, even though his insides were churning in a bath of miserable dejection. "Have some more wine, at least."
Miriam watched him pour the wine into their glasses with apprehension. Already she'd consumed too much of the first bottle they'd shared during the picnic lunch, and she was feeling a little giddy and hot. She had to keep her head today, and behave properly… and spirits of any kind affected her quickly. "I really don't think I should have any more," she said as Roger pressed the glass into her hand.
"Don't be silly, darling," he responded in a falsely bantering tone. "Let's have a toast to the most gorgeous woman in the world, you!" He raised his glass and saluted the lovely youthfully appearing woman beside him. "May she soon become my wife."
"Oh, Roger," she murmured disconsolately, but she lifted her glass and touched his. She sipped the heady red Pinot Noire, feeling it slide smoothly down her throat to warmly comfort her knotted stomach. She sipped again without thinking and then again… before she had realized it, Roger was refilling her empty glass.
Miriam moved on the blanket so that she could rest her chin upon her drawn-up knees and lean dreamily against his chest. She wanted to let him know she was having fun and was pleased to be here with him, and for a short while they sat in silent pleasure, Buck on the other side of her as quiet as his master. She savored the sweet-smelling fragrance of the air and the featherish rustlings of the surrounding glade as a gentle breeze stirred the foliage. Above her, there was nothing in the sky except a dipping, caroling bluejay. Lazily she listened to the gurgling sounds of water over the rocks in the stream bed a few feet away… The deliciously dulling illusion of liquor pervaded her worry clouded mind as she continued sipping the wine in her hand. She was glad to be here with Roger in this almost idyllic paradise. The last time she had been in the mountains with a man had been on her honeymoon ten years ago with Gregory Dodge, high in the Catskills, and that had turned into a hell on earth…
She couldn't stop her thoughts from returning to that time so long ago, in spite of the fact that these memories were painful enough to make her outwardly wince. Miriam's mother had warned her about sex all during her formative years, instilling in her the warped fallacy that all men are nasty and brutish, and the result had been a sad farce of marital bliss. The wedding night had been one of stark terror for her as for the first time she'd seen a man's penis. Unlike the small non-violent appearing organs she had seen on younger boys in her childhood, the turgid, blood-filled shaft which had stuck menacingly out from the much older man's plump white belly had made her cower under the covers and whimper with abject fear.
Gregory had taken her with unfeeling brutality that night as he had on every other subsequent occasion he'd had the urge to use her innocent young body. He had been the beast her mother had warned her a man would be, pummeling and beating her with a vengeance. By the middle of the first – and only – year of marriage he'd all but lost interest in sex and had been content to continue with an orgasm a month.
She had been worried that she was somehow at fault and had sought help. After reading many sex and marriage manuals she had become increasingly aware of other women's problems and her own situation, learning two important facts. For one, she had realized that there wasn't another woman in Gregory's life, as she'd suspected; but rather a constant stream of whores and sluts that would allow him to brutally whip them. And two, there came the startling discovery that she was budding into a sexually responsive young woman. She didn't want sex all the time, but her education had made her aware of the damage her mother had done; and this awareness had peeled away the false veneer of her frigidity from her true self. She had needed loving and she had been refused it by her sadistic husband. In the end, there had been only one solution – a lover.
To her bitter regret, young Miriam had not been able to respond to another man in the way she had hoped to. She had tried a number of normal, if adulterous affairs, but she seemed to subconsciously freeze up every time, and she could only accept her lovers in stiff and trembling rigidity. In desperation, she had hoped to direct her interests elsewhere, and had turned to teaching high school, for which she had earned a college diploma just prior to marrying. And it was then that all her nightmarish troubles had really begun.
The young boys in her class with their developing young muscles and leanly tapered bodies had struck an immediate chord in her own unsatisfied body. They were not men yet, and so to her inner mind they were "safe" for her to sexually respond to and enjoy – and a slowly growing yearning for fulfillment from any one of these virile young teenage boys had gradually taken over her thoughts. In the absence of love and security in her own home, Miriam's lewdly compelling desires to seduce her boy pupils had grown greater, with more and more insistent demands for relief. She had fought and fought against her compulsions until that fateful day a decade ago when she had given up completely and surrendered to the maddening emotions that had conquered her mind.
She'd never even learned that first one's name, only that he had been the delivery boy for the grocery store. She had opened the door to him and it was as though an evil spell had taken control of her mind. Lecherously, she had opened the thin nylon folds of her dressing gown and displayed her naked vagina, already wet with her arousal, to him. She had leaned back against the door and groaned aloud as she'd seen his thin young penis throb larger in reaction against his tightly clinging work-pants. He followed her down the hallway like a small, panting young puppy and it had been no time al all before she had stripped his clothes away and together they had thrashed nakedly against each other on she and her own husband's bed. For long, interminable hours, it had seemed, she had taught him almost all there was to do with the slender, virile young rod of flesh between his thighs. The boy had been everything she had ever hoped a man would be, and her hungrily waiting vagina had opened eagerly to accept him as he'd crawled feverishly over her body. And, when her tightly working vaginal walls had milked the hot youthful stream of his virile young semen from his small rigid cock, she had known then that she had never wanted this sensation to end.
After the delivery boy, there had been a succession of other young adolescents, many of them from her English classes, until, inevitably, she'd been caught. Even now she relived in her dreams the horror of that disgrace, and how Gregory had driven her from their home and city. The divorce had been engineered quietly, but not without her losing her job at the school and having to leave that up-state New York town. She had migrated all along the eastern seaboard since then, working where she could find a school district which was not too careful with its credentials check… and all the while she'd continued her unnatural and uncontrollable seduction of all the tender young teenage boys she could find.
The last forbidden act had been committed in Florida. There had been no excuses this time; she had clearly picked the young teenager up and seduced him, and they had been caught by a state trooper, naked in a near-orgasmic session, in the rear of her car, her hungrily throbbing cunt filled with the hardness of his young male flesh. It had been three months now without another boy, the frightening scare of wildly driving from the Southern state before she could be brought to trial having been a coldly deterring memory. She had been using her fingers, finding no other way to fulfill her sexual passions, yet masturbation hardly ever released her drives as did the beautiful filling of her hungering vagina by a throbbingly virile boy-cock…