“And the ones that don’t die, maybe the winter will at least slow them down, make them less threatening, easier to kill?”
“Just a thought,” she said. “Like I said, just something I was thinking.”
# # #
Locker room showers sprayed refreshing hot water. I was careful not to wet my new stitches. Allison helped redress the wound on my side afterward. We all looked battered and bruised. A few stitches up my side wasn’t much of anything, considering there had been car accidents and gunfights. We’d battled zombies and survived inclement weather. There was the obvious, also, crash landing a plane just yesterday.
We even spent an hour using the football team’s washer and dryer before meeting everyone back in the cafeteria for breakfast. Powdered scrambled eggs, sausage links and buttered toast. The best part was the coffee. I enjoyed two cups, despite the still nagging urge to smoke a cigarette. At this point, I was game for lighting up anything and just smoking that.
“Okay, Chase.” Gene stood next to his wife, arms crossed over his chest. She had hands stuffed into the pockets of her jeans. “Melissa and I, we’re with you. We’re ready to go.”
“Me, too,” Megan said. Her face lit up with a smile. “And--I spent some time in the library last night. I found maps and compiled a list of directions and alternate directions in case we run into blocks we can’t get around.”
She held up folded maps and a notebook with a ton of words written on it. She wore a huge smile, and I knew she’d spent the night working on directions and not sleeping. If she’d have been wearing knee-high socks, a pleated skirt, and orange turtleneck sweater, I’d have sworn she’d pass for Velma.
Thankfully, Allison stood next to me, so I cleared my throat. I was an opening-mouth away from making myself look wishy-washy at best. “I’m not sure Mexico is the right place to go.”
Andy sighed. I couldn’t tell if he was relieved to hear the words said, or annoyed with me. Either way, he did not make eye contact, so I had no way of better assessing his sigh.
“Look,” I said, and yes, felt immediately defensive. Dave and Charlene even looked at me, and the confusion they must have felt was apparent on their expressions. “I am not the leader. I don’t have answers. I’ve said this from day one. I am just winging this--all of it. I’ve made so many bad choices. I go left when right is obviously the better way. I just try to pick what I think is best at the time. I’m not going to lie; at the beginning, when all of this…exploded, I didn’t really care about much else other than getting to my kids,” I said, and stopped. I missed Cash. I failed him. My little boy. I lowered my head. I felt the heat in my face. My eyes were wet. “I don’t know if Mexico is right. I just, I think it might be a mistake.”
“So, what are you saying?” Megan said.
“I’m saying, I’ve done little else except focus on Mexico. But Mexico might not be the answer. It was just a means to keep me centered. It provided direction. A goal.” Charlene moved closer to me, reached for my hand. She realized how difficult this was for me. I had no problem admitting when I was wrong. I struggled with admitting I didn’t know what was right, or best. I laced my fingers with hers. “Alley and I were talking. She made some points that, I just couldn’t argue against. And before any of us do anything, I think we should talk this out some more. All of us. Because right now, I’ve got to say that staying here in Pennsylvania, at this high school, at least for the winter might make the most sense. In the spring, I don’t know what will come next. I don’t. For now, I think we should talk. All of us.”
Gene lowered his head.
“He has a point.” Melissa tugged on her husband’s arm.
“I want my bus.” Gene looked up, looked over at me. “We should still go get my bus. It has more weapons. More supplies.”
I was not sure he’d heard or comprehended anything I’d just said. I was not the leader. I was not in charge. If anything, he’d been the one in charge here. Why in the hell was he telling me he wanted his bus? I was not the one to grant or deny his request to go to retrieve his bus. It wasn’t me. I wasn’t that guy.
Allison said, “Gene, let’s make a list of all of our provisions first.”
“It’s done,” Michelle said. “We keep it in the kitchen. It’s on a clipboard by the register. Every time we use something, we subtract it from the list.”
“Good,” I said. “That’s excellent. Why don’t you--”
The reserve lights mounted on the walls flickered, and then went out.
“What just happened? What was that?” Charlene took a step back.
“The generator,” Gene said. “It’s a quirky piece of equipment. Thing gets used like once a year. Usually when we have a bad snowstorm. I can look at it.”
“Where is it?”
“The generator’s in the boiler room, back of the building,” Dave said. “Saw it last night. Andy showed me around.”
Gene nodded. “I can give you a tour of the mechanics of the place. I’ve shown Andy, who showed Dave and Megan. More people that know how this place works, the better. You never know who may need to know what, you know? Spread the knowledge.”
I agreed. “Good call. Let’s take a look.”
“I’d like to see it, too,” Charlene said, and kept a hand on the hilt of her long sword. She looked around, eyes taking in everything. I didn’t like it either--lights just going off.
# # #
Charlene and I followed a step behind as we walked from the cafeteria and through the school hallways, the whole time my mind spinning. I’d made a grandiose speech back there. In telling everyone that I was not a leader, that I was not in charge, that I was not sure if Mexico was the right place to go or not, I still had my own reservations. If Gene all of a sudden said we were going to go to Arkansas, or Megan said New Jersey -- I’d say no. I wouldn’t follow. I might not be a leader, I guess. Neither was I someone who followed. I didn’t take direction well. Maybe that made me a dick. I’m sure it did. Part of me knew I still planned to call the shots. I couldn’t change my nature. Not overnight, not even in the midst of…all of this. People were either with me, or they weren’t. It was kind of that simple. The thing was, Allison was quite possibly right. She’d made sense this morning. I wonder how long she debated telling me any of it. There it was, again. I was a dick. At least I knew it.
“We keep the classroom doors closed, but not locked. Figure if anything gets in from one of the windows or something, we’re hopefully going to hear the glass shatter. The closed door will be a good initial line of defense. We argued about locking them all, but then figured if those things are inside the school, a classroom might be a perfect place to hide. Can lock the doors from the inside, without a key.” Gene made a motion with his hand, like he was turning a key. “And each classroom has fire windows. They swing open and are big enough to basically walk out of; ideal if getting out of the school is safer than staying inside it.”
“You been with the school a while?” Charlene asked.
“Seems like I’ve always been here. Graduated from here. Went to college for business. Earned a degree and everything, but seemed like schools were kicking out business students by the bucket load. Finding a job, finding a good paying job that is, was impossible. Didn’t matter I carried a solid GPA, either. Business graduates were a dime a dozen. So I came back home after a while. Moved back in with my folks, you know. That was one of the toughest things to do. After having the freedom of living on my own on campus, to go back to house rules and explaining where I’m going, who I’m going with and when I’d be home--about went insane. Within a few weeks, I knew I’d need to move out. Waited some tables at the Denny’s, grabbed up a vacant studio, and when there was a janitorial opening at the high school, so I applied. Thought it would be temporary, a good job to hold me over until I could find something more in my field.” Gene’s walking slowed. He seemed almost lost in reflection.