Tina looked a lot happier then, and started filling me in on the new book she’s reading. This one is calledLove Only Once, and it’s about a girl who falls in love with a boy who has terminal cancer. I told Tina it seemed like kind of a bummer thing to read, but she told me she’d already read the end, and that the boy’s terminal cancer goes away. So I guess that’s okay then.
As we cleared our trays, I saw Lilly staring in my direction. It wasn’t the kind of stare someone who was about to apologize would use. So I wasn’t too surprised when later, after I got to G & T, Lilly sat there and stared at me some more. Boris kept on trying to talk to her, but she obviously wasn’t listening. Finally he gave up and picked up his violin and went back into the supply closet, where he belongs.
Meanwhile, this is how my tutoring session with Lilly’s brother went:
Me:Hi, Michael. I did all those problems you gave me. But I still don’t see why you couldn’t just look at the train schedule to find out what time a train traveling at 67 miles per hour will arrive in Fargo, North Dakota, if it leaves Salt Lake City at 7A.M.
Michaeclass="underline" So. Princess of Genovia, huh? Were you ever going to share that little piece of info with the group, or were we all supposed to guess?
Me:I was kind of hoping no one would ever find out.
Michaeclass="underline" Well, that’s obvious. I don’t see why, though. It’s not like it’s a bad thing.
Me:Are you kidding me? Of course it’s bad!
Michaeclass="underline" Did youread the article in today’sPost, Thermopolis?
Me:No way. I’m not going to read that trash. I don’t know who this Carol Fernandez thinks she is, but—
Then Lilly got into the act. It was like she couldn’t stand not to get involved.
Lilly:So you’re not aware that the crown prince of Genovia—namely, your father—has a total personal worth which, including real estate property and the palace’s art collection, is estimated at over three hundred million dollars?
Well, I guess it’s pretty obvious thatLilly read the article in today’sPost.
Me:Um . . .
Hello? Three hundred million dollars?? And I get a lousy $100 a day???
Lilly:I wonder how much of that fortune was amassed by taking advantage of the sweat of the common laborer.
Michaeclass="underline" Considering that the people of Genovia have traditionally never paid income or property taxes, I would say none of it. What iswith you, anyway, Lil?
Lilly:Well, ifyou want to tolerate the excesses of the monarchy, you can be my guest, Michael. But I happen to think that it’s disgusting, with the world economy in the state it’s in today, for anyone to have a total worth of three hundred million dollars . . . especially someone who never did a day’s work for it!
Michaeclass="underline" Pardon me, Lilly, but it’s my understanding that Mia’s father works extremely hard for his country. His father’s historic pledge, after Mussolini’s forces invaded in 1939, to exercise the rights of sovereignty in accordance with the political and economic interests of neighboring France in exchange for military and naval protection in the event of war might have tied the hands of a lesser politician, but Mia’s father has managed to work around that agreement. His efforts have resulted in a nation that has the highest literacy rate in Europe, some of the best educational attainment rates, and the lowest infant mortality, inflation, and unemployment rates in the Western Hemisphere.
I could only stare at Michael after that.Wow. Why doesn’t Grandmère teach me stuff likethat at our princess lessons? I mean, this is information I could actually use. I don’t exactly need to know which direction to tip my soup bowl. I need to know how to defend myself from virulent antiroyalists like my ex–best friend Lilly.
Lilly:(to Michael) Shut up. (to me) I see they already have you spouting off their populist propaganda like a good little girl.
Me: Me?Michael’s the one who—
Michaeclass="underline" Aw, Lilly, you’re just jealous.
Lilly:I am not!
Michaeclass="underline" Yes, you are. You’re jealous because she got her hair cut without consulting you. You’re jealous because you stopped talking to her and she went out and got a new friend. And you’re jealous because all this time Mia’s had this secret she didn’t tell you.
Lilly:Michael, SHUT UP!
Boris:(leaning out of the supply closet door) Lilly? Did you say something?
Lilly:I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU, BORIS!
Boris:Sorry. (goes back into closet)
Lilly:(really mad now) Gosh, Michael, you sure are quick to come to Mia’s defense all of a sudden. I wonder if maybe it ever occurred to you that your argument, while ostensibly based on logic, might have less intellectual than libidinous roots.
Michaeclass="underline" (turning red for some reason) Well, what about your persecution of the Hos? Is that rooted in intellectual reasoning? Or is it more an example of vanity run amok?
Lilly:That’s a circular argument.
Michaeclass="underline" It isn’t. It’s empirical.
Wow. Michael and Lilly are so smart. Grandmère’s right: I need to improve my vocabulary.