MEG CABOTPrincess In Training
THE PRINCESS DIARIES, VOLUME VI
For my niece,
Madison B. Cabot,
princess in training
“She will be more a princess than she ever was—
a hundred and fifty thousand times more.”
A LITTLE PRINCESS
Frances Hodgson Burnett
AEHS Albert Einstein High School
FALL SEMESTER COURSE SCHEDULE
Student: Thermopolis, HRH Princess Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Renaldo
Sex: F
Yr: 10
Period:
Course:
Teacher:
Rm#:
Homeroom
Gianini
110
Period 1
PE
Potts
Gym
Period 2
Geometry
Harding
202
Period 3
English
Martinez
112
Period 4
French
Klein
118
Lunch
Period 5
Gifted and Talented
Hill
105
Period 6
U.S. Government
Holland
204
Period 7
Earth Science
Chu
217AEHS
Dear Students and Parents,
Welcome back from what I hope was a relaxing, yet intellectually stimulating, summer vacation. The faculty and staff of AEHS look forward to spending another exciting and fruitful academic year with you. With this in mind, we’d like to share these conduct reminders:
Noise
Please note that Albert Einstein High School is located in a residential—albeit vertical—community. It is important to remember that sound travels up, and that any excessive noise—especially on the steps of the front entrance of the school—that might be disruptive to our neighbors will not be tolerated. This includes shouting, screaming, shrill or explosive laughter, music, and ritualistic chanting/drumming. Please be respectful of our neighbors and keep the noise level to a minimum.
Defacement
Despite what is often cited as Albert Einstein High School “tradition” on the first day of classes, students are expressly forbidden from defacing, decorating, or otherwise tampering with the lion statue, frequently referred to as “Joe,” outside the East Seventy-fifth Street entrance of Albert Einstein High School. Twenty-four-hour surveillance cameras have been installed, and any students caught defiling school property in any way will be subject to expulsion and/or fines.
Smoking
It has been brought to the attention of this administration that last year, large numbers of cigarette butts were daily swept up from the front steps on the Seventy-fifth Street entrance. In addition to the fact that smoking is strictly prohibited on school grounds, cigarette butts constitute a visual eyesore, as well as a fire hazard. Please note that any students caught smoking—either by a staff member or on the new video surveillance cameras—will be subject to suspension and/or fines.
Uniforms
Please note that this year’s standard AEHS uniforms include:
Female students:
Male students:
Long- or short-sleeved white blouse
Long- or short-sleeved white shirt
Gray sweater or sweater vest
Gray sweater or sweater vest
Blue-and-gold plaid skirt or gray flannel trousers
Gray flannel trousers
Blue or white knee-highs or blue or black tights or nude-colored pantyhose
Blue or black socks
Blue-and-gold plaid tie
Blue-and-gold plaid tie
Navy blue jacket
Navy blue jacket
Please note that the wearing of shorts—including regulation gym shorts or athletic team uniform shorts—beneath skirts is prohibited.
Remember, classes commence the day after Labor Day, Tuesday, September 8, at 7:55 A.M. As always, tardiness will not be tolerated.
Welcome back!
Principal GuptaMonday, September 7, Labor Day
WOMYNRULE: Did you SEE it??? Did you get that hypocritical piece of garbage she sent out last week? Just who does she think she’s kidding with that? You so know that that part about ritualistic chanting was directed at ME. Just because I organized a few student rallies last year. Well, we’re going to show her. She might think she can stifle the voice of the people, but the student body of Albert Einstein High is NOT going to be intimidated.
FTLOUIE: Lilly, I—
WOMYNRULE: Did you see that part about the surveillance cameras???? Have you ever HEARD of anything so fascist? Well, she can install all the surveillance cameras she wants, but that’s not going to stop ME. It’s just another example of how she’s slowly turning this school into her own academic dictatorship. You know they used surveillance cameras in Communist Russia to keep the proletariat in line. I wonder what she’ll bring in next. Ex-KGB militia, perhaps, as hall monitors? I so wouldn’t put it past her. This is a total invasion of our right to privacy. That’s why this year, POG, we’re taking matters into our own hands. I have a plan—
FTLOUIE: Lilly—
WOMYNRULE: —that will totally undermine her attempts to strip us of our sense of selves and bend us to her will. Best of all, it’s in complete compliance with school ordinances. When we’re through, Mia, she won’t even know what hit her.
FTLOUIE: LILLY!!! I thought the whole point of Instant Messaging was so that we could TALK.
WOMYNRULE: Isn’t that what we’re doing?
FTLOUIE: YOU are. I’m TRYING to. But you keep interrupting.
WOMYNRULE: Fine. Then go ahead. What do you want to say?
FTLOUIE: I can’t remember now. You made me forget. Oh, here’s one thing: Stop calling me POG!
WOMYNRULE: SORRY. God. You know, ever since that little brother of yours was born, you have gotten way…sensitive.
FTLOUIE: Excuse me. I have ALWAYS been sensitive.
WOMYNRULE: You can say that again, BL. Don’t you want to hear my plan?
FTLOUIE: I guess so. Wait a minute. What’s BL?
WOMYNRULE: You know.
FTLOUIE: No, I don’t.
WOMYNRULE: Yes, you do…baby-licker.
FTLOUIE: STOP IT!!! I AM NOT A BABY-LICKER!!!
WOMYNRULE: R 2. Just like the red panda.
FTLOUIE: Just because I didn’t think it was appropriate for my mother to take her six-week-old newborn on a peace march across the Brooklyn Bridge does not make me a baby-licker!!!! ANYTHING could have happened during that march. ANYTHING. She could have tripped and accidentally dropped him and he might have bounced off the safety railing and fallen hundreds of feet into the East River and drowned…if the fall didn’t crush all his little bones to pieces first. And even if I dove in after him, we might both have been swept out to sea by the current…OH, THANKS, LILLY!!! Why did you have to remind me????
WOMYNRULE: Remember what the zookeeper had to do to the red panda?
FTLOUIE: SHUT UP!!!! NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE AWAY MY BABY BROTHER BECAUSE I LICK HIM TOO MUCH!!! I HAVE NEVER ONCE LICKED ROCKY!!!!
WOMYNRULE: Yes, but you have to admit you are a little obsessive-compulsive about him.
FTLOUIE: Well, SOMEBODY has to worry about him! I mean, between my mother wanting to lug him around to all sorts of inappropriate venues such as antiwar rallies—sometimes even taking him there on the SUBWAY, which you know is just a breeding ground for germs—and Mr. G tossing him into the air and causing his head to smack against the ceiling fan, I frankly think Rocky is LUCKY to have a big sister like me who looks out for his welfare, since God knows no one else in the family is doing it.
WOMYNRULE: Whatever you say…baby-licker.
FTLOUIE: SHUT UP, LILLY. Just tell me your stupid plan.
WOMYNRULE: No. I don’t want to now. I think you’re better off not knowing. Baby-lickers like you, who worry too much, are probably better off not knowing things too far in advance, as they will just cause you to lick the baby harder.