TINAHAKIMBABA: But he DID tell U.
HRHMIAT: A little late!!!!!
TINAHAKIMBABA: But he TOLD u.
HRHMIAT: HE DIDN’T EVEN LOVE HER!!!!!!!!
TINAHAKIMBABA: Lots of times in romance novels the hero has had meaningless sex with women B4 he meets the heroine.
HRHMIAT: WITH JUDITH GERSHNER?????
TINAHAKIMBABA: Well, no. But it just makes it MORE meaningful when he and the heroine finally Do It. Bcuz sex is so much better when u luv the person.
HRHMIAT: I CAN’T BLIEVE U R DEFENDING HIM!!!! He said he was going to Japan even if we DID IT!!!!
TINAHAKIMBABA: I think U R right to B mad. But did U really break up?????
HRHMIAT: I gave him back his snowflake necklace.
TINAHAKIMBABA: MIA!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HRHMIAT: TINA, HE LIED 2 ME!!!!
TINAHAKIMBABA: No, he didn’t! He DID tell U. Eventually.
HRHMIAT: That is not the point. The point is JUDITH GERSHNER GOT 2 TOUCH IT B4 I DID!!!!
TINAHAKIMBABA: Lilly got 2 touch it b4 I did.
HRHMIAT: BUT SHE IS UR FRIEND!!!!! Besides, Boris and Lilly did not go ALL THE WAY. And Boris is not moving to Japan and leaving you alone for a year. Or MORE!!!!
TINAHAKIMBABA: True. Oh, Mia. I’m so sorry. I’ve g2g, my dad says I’ve reached my limit in text messages this month—ttyl!
Tina’s so sweet. She risked her dad’s wrath to text me in my hour of need. She’s a good and true friend.
Speaking of which…how am I ever going to face Lilly in the morning? I can’t.
I just can’t.
ME, A PRINCESS???? YEAH, RIGHT.
A Screenplay by Mia Thermopolis
(first draft)
Scene 24
INT/NIGHT—A large, comfortably furnished rent-controlled apartment on New York City’s Fifth Avenue, off Union Square. A newly madeover MIA THERMOPOLIS has just entered through the front door. Her best friend, LILLY MOSCOVITZ, a slightly chubby, pug-faced girl, is staring at her incredulously.
LILLY
Oh my God, what happened to you?
MIA
(taking off her coat, trying to be casual)
Yeah, well, my grandmother made me go see this guy, Paolo, and he—
LILLY
(in state of shock)
Your hair is the same color as Lana Weinberger’s.
What’s on your FINGERS? Are those fake fingernails? Lana has those, too! Oh my God, Mia. You’re turning into Lana Weinberger!
MIA
(unable to take it anymore)
Lilly. Shut up.
MICHAEL
(appearing in the doorway with no shirt on) Whoa.
LILLY
WHAT? WHAT did you just say to me?
MIA
You know what, Lilly? I’m a PRINCESS. I’m the princess of Genovia. And I will ALWAYS be a princess, I can’t escape it, I can’t pretend like it didn’t happen. And as a princess, I will always value princesslike qualities in other people, such as honesty and self-respect and not Doing It with People You Don’t Even Love. Good-bye.
MICHAEL
Whoa.
MIA stomps from the room. LILLY and MICHAEL exchange stunned glances.
Friday, September 10, 1 a.m., the loft
Except, of course, I know now that the whole time—maybe even way back when I was first finding out I’m a princess—Michael was sleeping with Judith Gershner.
And I didn’t know it.
Because he never told me.
Friday, September 10, 1:30 a.m., the loft
HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM?????
Friday, September 10, 2:15 a.m., the loft
I have to be strong. I HAVE to. He LIED to me. He said maybe it was a good idea for us to TAKE A BREAK.
I can’t just let him get away with that.
Maybe writing some poetry will help.
You thought I gave you up for some
Foolish feminist morals.
You whose head ought to be wreathed
In silver-plated laurels?
For were you not a man?
Was your sex not the best?
Had you not a suit and tie,
Big feet and hairy chest?
Yet you opened up the cage
For my headstrong reckless flight
You thought I’d learn my lesson quick
And return to you contrite.
My freedom found, however,
I disappeared from view.
Maybe I’d catch no one nicer
But anyone’s better than you.
Oh, our love affair was tragic!
I wept with passionate strife.
Till you let me go, and I found out
I prefer the single life.
God, I wish that were all true.
Michael! My cherished preserver!
Friday, September 10, 3 a.m., the loft
Dear Michael,
I just wanted to say—
Dear Michael,
Why did you have to—
Dear Michael,
WHY????
Friday, September 10, 4 a.m., the loft
Michael! My hope! My love! My life!
Friday, September 10, the limo on the way to school
I can’t believe Mom made me go to school today.
I told her my heart was broken. I told her I hadn’t slept A WINK ALL NIGHT LONG. I told her I can’t stop crying. I haven’t stopped crying since last night, practically. I had no idea human beings were even CAPABLE of producing so many tears.
It was like talking to a stone wall. Mom was all, “You broke up with Michael, Mia, not the other way around. No way are you going to wallow around in bed all day.”
It’s weird but…it’s almost like she’s on MICHAEL’S side, or something.
But that can’t be possible, right? I mean, she’s MY mom, not HIS.
Still. She even made ME call Lilly and tell her to find alternative transportation to school this morning. She refused to do it for me, even though I begged, because I was afraid Michael might see it was me on the caller ID, and pick up instead.
I feel bad leaving Lilly in the lurch without a ride, but NO WAY can I face Michael this morning. And I know he will TOTALLY be waiting in front of their building for me, because he left me an e-mail to that effect this morning, which said:
SKINNERBX: I still don’t understand what I did wrong. How is my having slept with someone before I even knew you liked me a crime? I don’t get it.
I guess I can see why you’re upset about the Japan thing, but I don’t know how many times I have to explain that one of the reasons I’m doing this is for US before it sinks in. Lilly said Boris said something about clarinetists at lunch the other day, so I guess that’s where that came from, but I still don’t understand it. But if you want to see other people while I’m gone, I guess I’m fine with that. Maybe it would even be a good thing.
Look, we have to talk, okay? I’ll be waiting with Lilly out front before school. Maybe we could grab a coffee?
I HAD to call Lilly (on her cell, so there was no chance of getting Michael by mistake) and was all, “Lilly? I can’t come pick you up today.”
“POG?” Lilly sounded suspicious. “Is that you?”
“Y-yes,” I said.
“Wait—are you CRYING?”
“Y-yes,” I said. Because I was.
“WHAT is going on?” Lilly wanted to know. “What did you do to my brother? I’ve never seen him like this. Did you really dump him? Because he says you did.”
“He—he—”
But it was hopeless. I couldn’t speak. I was crying too hard.
“Jesus, Mia,” Lilly said, actually seeming concerned about me for once in her life. “You sound even worse than he does. WHAT IS GOING ON?”
“I c-can’t talk right now,” I said. Because I literallycouldn’t talk , I was crying so hard.
“Fine,” Lilly said. “But, Mia…seriously, I don’t know what this is about, but you’re breaking his heart. The only reason I’m not coming over there and kicking your ass for it is because I can tell your heart isn’t doing so well, either. But seriously, youhave to talk to him. Justtalk to him. I’m sure whatever it is, you two can work it out, if you just TALK. Okay?”