I couldn’t reply, though. I was crying too hard.
If I could have said something, though, I’d have said, “It’s too late, Lilly. There’s nothing left to say.”
Because there isn’t.
I miss him so much. And he hasn’t even left yet.
Friday, September 10, Intro to Creative Writing
ME, A PRINCESS???? YEAH, RIGHT.
A Screenplay by Mia Thermopolis
(second draft)
Scene 12
INT/DAY—The Palm Court at the Plaza Hotel in New York City. A flat-chested girl with upside-down-yield-sign-shaped hair (14-year-old MIA THERMOPOLIS) is sitting at an ornately set table across from a bald man (her father, PRINCE PHILLIPE). We can tell by MIA’s expression that her father is telling her something upsetting.
PRINCE PHILLIPE
You’re not Mia Thermopolis anymore, honey.
MIA
(blinking with astonishment)
I’m not? Then who am I?
PRINCE PHILLIPE
You’re Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo, Princess of Genovia.
MIA
(getting up from the table, pulling an Uzi from her backpack)
Dad, look out!
NINJAS descend from the ceiling on ropes. MIA kicks over the table, sending the tea things flying. Then she strafes the room with bullets from her Uzi. TOURISTS and WAITERS dive for cover. Her dad, terrified, ducks behind a potted plant. MIA throws down the Uzi, which has jammed, and kickboxes the NINJAS, dispatching them one by one, à la River in the movie SERENITY.
Finally, the room is still, all NINJAS unconscious. One by one, the TOURISTS and WAITERS climb to their feet. One of them begins to clap, slowly. He is joined by everyone else. Soon, MIA is receiving a standing ovation for her bravery.
MIA walks up to PHILLIPE and sticks out her right hand to help him to his feet. He hesitantly takes it. She pulls him up.
PRINCE PHILLIPE
(gratefully)
Mia—where did you learn to—
MIA
(matter-of-factly)
I’ve been working as a highly trained demon-killer for the Vatican for years, Dad. Didn’t you know?
PRINCE PHILLIPE
I didn’t know. I was wrong about you, Mia. You’re not just a princess.
MIA
No, Dad. No, I’m not.
F
Mia, while this is highly imaginative, in no way does it satisfy the assignment, which was to describe a beloved pet.
—C. Martinez
Friday, September 10, English
Are you okay?
I guess so, Tina. Thanks.
You look kind of…pale. And your eyes are red.
Yeah. Well. I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Have you spoken to him yet? Michael, I mean?
No. Not in person.
Hasn’t he called? Or texted?
Well, yes. But I haven’t written back. How can I, Tina? What is there to SAY?
True. But if he apologized, wouldn’t you forgive him?
He’s not going to apologize, Tina. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong!!!
But this can’t be IT. I mean, it can’t be OVER between you two. You love each other too much!!!!!
Michael himself said—in one of the e-mails he sent—that maybe it’s better this way. You know, that we see other people while he’s gone.
HE SAID THAT????
Well, he didn’t say HE was going to see other people, but that it was okay with him if I wanted to.
Wait—he really SAID that?
Yes. He did. Well, he said he guessed it HAD to be okay.
Oh, Mia! I don’t know how to say this but—do you think maybeYour Precious Giftis wrong? Because in my favorite romance novels—The Sheik and the Virgin SecretaryandThe Sheik and the Princess Bride—none of the sheiks were virgins, and it all turned out okay for them and THEIR girlfriends.
I didn’t want to write what I wrote next. Really. It HURT me to say it. But someone HAD to. Because Tina just can’t live in Tinaland for the rest of her life. She just can’t.
Tina. Those are BOOKS.
But Tina wasn’t backing down.
Your Precious Giftis a BOOK. How come it’s right, and not the sheik books?
Tina. None of the sheiks in those books Did It with Judith Gershner and then LIED about it, okay? None of the sheiks in those books invented a robotic surgical arm and are leaving for Japan for a year. Or more. And if they were, they’d take their virgin secretary princess bride WITH THEM.
I know. I just think maybe you should give Michael another chance.
How can I do that? Every time I think about him now, all I can picture in my head is Judith Gershner with her tongue in his mouth. And that is the LEAST disgusting thing I picture the two of them doing.
Yes. I felt that way when I found out about Lilly and Boris. But it goes away after a while, Mia. Really. In a few days you won’t see Judith Gershner in your head anymore when you think about Michael.
Thanks, Tina. I see what you’re saying. I really do. But the problem is, in a few days—no, in a few HOURS—Michael will be gone. Possibly forever!
Mia! Oh my gosh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry!
It’s not you, Tina. It’s me. I just—I just—
Mia, it’s okay. You don’t have to write another word. I’ll shut up now.
God. How can it have come to this—me sitting in English class, CRYING???
In a way I wish Michael WAS a sheik, and I was his virgin secretary or princess bride. I know it’s not very feminist of me to think that.
But if he whisked me off to his tent in the desert instead of moving to Japan, at least I’d know he really cared.
Friday, September 10, French
Mia! Is it true?
Yes, Perin. It’s true that Michael admitted he had sex with Judith Gershner and he’s moving to Japan and he and I are broken up. I feel really terrible about it and I don’t want to start crying in French, so can we not talk about it?
Um, no. I meant is it true that you would know what to do if a tsunami hit New York City?
Oh. Yes, that’s true, too.
I’m sorry about you and Michael. I didn’t know. So I guess you’re single now?
I never thought of it before. But, yeah, I guess I am.
Want to sleep over tonight?
Oh, thanks for the invitation, Perin, but I think I’m just going to go home and go to bed. I’m not really doing all that great, to tell you the truth.
Okay. Well, feel better!
Thanks!
Qu’est-ce que c’est que le mérite incroyable d’une femme, vous demandez? Selon la chaine douze, le mérite incroyable d’une femme est sa capacité de nourrir ses enfants. Une femme avec une carrière? Ça, c’est une femme qui n’adore pas ses enfants, ou son mari. Elle n’est pas une chrétienne! Elle est une serveuse du diable!
Mes camarades et moi nous nous sommes regardés les unes les autres. Nous avons changés le chaine. Et juste a l’heure!
117+76=only 193!!!!!! I need 7 more words!
Oh, wait…the title. AND MY NAME:
Une Emission Pleine d’Action par
Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Renaldo Thermopolis
YES!!!!
At least SOMETHING is going my way today.
Friday, September 10, between French and Lunch
My cell phone just buzzed. Michael left the following text message:
MICHAELM: At least let me come by and try to explain. Even though that won’t be easy because I’m still not clear on what, exactly, I did that was so wrong.