Wrapping her fingers around the steering wheel, she waited for the tightness in her chest to ease. Although the emotional ups and downs had subsided over the months, along with the morning sickness, there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about Grey. She was desperately trying to put him and their relationship behind her and focus on her future with their child. But forgetting Grey was impossible. Whenever she looked in the mirror and saw the changes to her body, she thought of the man who'd helped create the baby inside her. And she remembered the love they'd shared for one perfect week.
Finally she glanced at Jade. Her sister expected a response to her statement, she could tell, but she wasn't up to defending her decision. She did that often enough with her father, though her parents had come to accept her choice.
"I've got a craving for a Monte Cristo," she said instead, forcing a smile. "How about lunch on me at Maxine's?"
Jade lifted a dark brow. "That's way across town."
Mariah shrugged and started the car. "But it's my favorite place. I haven't been there since…" Grey. She swallowed the name always on her mind and forever in her heart and finished with, "Well, in a while. I've had a craving for a Monte Cristo for the past month."
Jade held her hands up in surrender. "Who am I to stand in the way of a pregnant woman's craving?"
Mariah grinned at her sister and lovingly patted her swollen belly. "You're a smart woman."
"Well, I do have to say that your prices are more than fair, and your references are impeccable." Sam Haight set Grey's five-page proposal back on the table and leaned back in the Naugahyde booth with a satisfied smile on his face. "I've put off a new security system long enough. The job is yours if you want it."
Grey stared at the older man for a moment, unable to drum up any excitement for the six-figure deal Sam Haight had accepted so effortlessly. The man hadn't quibbled on the high-tech security system Grey had recommended for his plush offices, and he hadn't tried dickering on the cost. Where was the elation that came from such an easy victory?
"Well, Grey, do we have a deal or not?" Sam asked. "I'm anxious to get the security system installed." He rubbed his hands together, as if this security system was a new toy and he couldn't wait to play with it.
He'd be crazy to turn down such an easy, profitable job. Grey motioned to their waitress to bring the check for their lunch, then turned back to Sam. "I'll have the contract drawn up and to you by the end of the week. Installation can start as soon as next Monday."
"Fabulous. I'm looking forward to doing business with you."
"I'm looking forward to doing the job." Grey's reply came automatically, considering he didn't look forward to doing much these days. Since his breakup with Mariah, work had become an escape, a way to keep his mind off what he'd let slip though his fingers. Even the ruthless drive he once had to build his security firm into a Fortune 500 company had lost its appeal and excitement.
One night, while sitting alone in the dark in his living room nursing a beer, he'd come to the realization that his life had no real purpose or direction. Oh, sure, he was wealthy enough that he could purchase anything money could buy, but it wasn't material items he wanted. No, his longing went much deeper than purchasing something on a whim. The yearning had settled in his soul, making him feel restless, lonely and miserable.
Certainly the deep ache would fade in time, he kept telling himself. But, dammit, how long would he have to wait until his heart didn't hurt anymore? How long before he could look at another woman and not see something about her that reminded him of Mariah? How long before the deep regret of letting her walk out of his life would fade?
Forever. The thought was suffocating and scary.
The waitress arrived with the check, and Grey mentally shoved his disturbing thoughts back into the dark, secluded spot in his soul where he kept them hidden. After paying the bill, he grabbed his briefcase, and he and Sam slid from the booth, heading toward the entrance of Maxine's.
Grey passed a young, pretty hostess as she led a couple to a table, and she gave him a seductive smile that made her interest in him clear. He waited for a stirring of attraction, a spark of desire, but none came. He shook his head in frustration and anger. He'd become a goddamned monk since Mariah.
The waiting area was crowded with lunchtime patrons waiting for a table, forcing him to cut through the lounge. His steps slowed as his gaze slid over silky blond hair cut into a shoulder-length style that reminded him of Mariah's. He could have sworn he caught a whiff of the light floral fragrance she sometimes wore.
He shook his head. Hard. He couldn't see the woman's face, but then he already knew it wasn't her. It never was. One time he'd made a fool of himself in public, running after a woman who'd looked so much like Mariah from behind, only to grab her arm, turn her around, and have the strange woman stare at him as if he was crazy.
Some days he thought he was losing his mind.
Keeping his eye on the neon Exit sign over the front doors of the establishment, he fumbled for the open roll of Turns in his slacks' pocket.
He heard husky laughter, so much like Mariah's. Grey swore beneath his breath as he crunched into a chalky tablet. Impatient to be gone from the restaurant and the memories that were beginning to crowd his mind, he pushed open the heavy carved doors, let Sam precede him, and started out behind him.
"Mariah Stevens, party of two, please," the hostess announced over the intercom.
Grey froze. His heart thundered in his ears, and his chest tightened painfully. He had to have misheard the page. Either that or he was closer to insanity than he'd originally thought.
"How long do I have to put up with these cravings of yours?" Grey heard a familiar voice ask from behind him. A sassy voice from the past.
That sweet laughter again. "Only four more months."
The woman groaned. "This I can handle, but I draw the line at pickles and ice cream."
The exchange seemed surreal to Grey, but he found himself slowly turning around. He let the door shut, rudely leaving Sam outside by himself. Grey couldn't bring himself to care, because this was probably some sort of dream anyway.
He saw the blonde and brunette heading toward the waiting hostess. Before he lost his nerve, he called, "Mariah?"
She turned around with a smile wreathing her beautiful face and her eyes bright with amusement, but when she saw him, her whole expression changed into one of shock and disbelief.
Their gazes locked. "Grey?" Her voice cracked.
She clearly wasn't overjoyed to see him. She watched him warily and with an unreserved apprehension that annoyed him. Guests entered and exited the restaurant, but his sole focus remained on the one woman he couldn't forget.
Jade stepped in front of Mariah, her stance fierce and protective. "Grey, she doesn't want to see you, so I suggest you just leave and not make a scene."
Irritation propelled him forward, and he slowly wended his way around the people in the waiting area. He caught Mariah's gaze and held it. "Let me hear that from Mariah."
Jade's chin jutted out, but before she could respond, Sam came back through the doors. He glanced from Grey to Mariah, took in the scene that looked as though a showdown was about to happen, and said cautiously and with concern, "Uh, you two know one another?"
"Yes," Grey said the same time Mariah said, "No!"
"No?" He lifted a mocking brow, remaining focused on her face. You've already forgotten how intimately we know one another? his eyes asked. You can put me out of your mind so easily when I've spent the past five months in pure misery, wanting no other woman but you?