I managed to get upstairs but I was too sleepy to undress.
I fell atop the bed fully clothed and was instantly asleep. I never did go downstairs to clean up the kitchen, and I wasn't aware of my husband coming home. I slept for twelve hours.
All my dreams were colored mauve.
I got maybe ten phone calls a month, at the most, and three or four of them were usually wrong numbers, Late in May my phone rang one evening, and I couldn't imagine who it might be unless the cops were calling to tell me my nutsy brother was in the hoosegow and needed bail.
But it turned out to be my niece, Tania, and I laughed.
"Hiya, honey," I said. "It's good to hear from you.
Behaving yourself?"
"Of course I am," she said, very primly. "I called to thank you for that book you gave me which you autographed."
"My pleasure," I said.
"Did you read it?"
"Yes, I did. I liked Tommy Termite-he was funny-and I think you should write another book about him."
"I'm happy you said that, Tania, because that's exactly what I'm doing.
In the new book Tommy meets a girl termite and falls in love." , III "That's very nice," she said approvingly, and then she was silent.
I began to get a little uneasy.
"Everything all right?" I asked.
"Uncle Chas," she said finally, "will you do me a favor? A big favor?"
"Of course I will, honey. What is it?"
"Could you send me some money?"
I was startled. I was sure the kid got an allowance, and I wasn't certain if Marleen would approve of my giving cash to her daughter.
"How much do you want, Tania?"
"A lot."
"How much is a lot?"
A hundred dollars?" she said hopefully. "I really need it."
That was a stun. "Can you tell me what you need it for? "
"It's a secret," she said.
At first I thought she might want to buy her mother or father an expensive birthday present, but then I recalled both their birthdays were in November.
"A secret?" I said. "Well, you can tell me. I promise not to repeat it."
"Not to anyone?"
"Not to a soul. Scout's honor."
"Well, " she said slowly, "I want to give it to a friend."
"Oh?" I said. "Boy or girl?"
A long silence, then, "Boy."
"What boy?"
"Just a boy," she said.
Now I was really concerned. If she had said she wanted to buy a birthday present for a boy, that would have been okay I guess. But I didn't like the idea of her giving a hundred bucks to some nameless boy.
I had visions of some kiddie extortion racket going on here.
"I'm not asking you to give me the money, Uncle Chas," she said earnestly. "I want to borrow it. I'll pay you back, really I will."
"You don't want to ask your mother or father for it?
"I can't," she said miserably. "You're the only one I can ask."
I hate dilemmas like that. I mean I loved Tania and thought she loved me. More important, I thought she trusted me. I couldn't betray her secret, not even to her parents. Especially not to her parents. That would, I knew, be the end of my niece's love and trust.
"Tell you what, honey," I said, "I'll give you the money but-"
"Lend," she repeated. "Lend me the money."
"Okay, I'll lend you the money, but I don't want to mail it because it might get lost or your parents might open the envelope.
Why don't you tell your mother I phoned and invited you to have lunch with me on Saturday. Tell her it will be like a party, just you and me.
She can drive you out here and then go shopping or something, and then pick you up later. And while she's gone, I'll give you the money personally. How does that sound?"
"I don't know," she said doubtfully. "Maybe she'll want to stay for lunch, too."
"Nothing doing," I said. "This party is just for the two of us. If she gives you a hard time, have her phone me. Okay?"
"All right, Uncle Chas," she said. "I'll call you back and tell you if I can come."
I hung up, not certain I was doing the right thing. But I had the definite feeling that something was troubling Tania, and I didn't want to risk compounding the problem with no questions asked and her parents kept in the dark.
I used to be a man of action-a brainless man of action. I loved track and swimming, fancied myself a world-class miler, and didn't do too badly in the freestyle. I was a real jock and even had dreams of the Olympics. But, of course, all that was when I had legs.
While I was in the hospital and after I got out, I acquired the habit of thinking-something I had never done much before.
And this may sound screwy to you, but I discovered thinking can be as addictive as alcohol or nicotine. You can just surrender to pondering, and time passes before you know it and you lose all sense of where you are and what's happening around you. Talk about reverie!
Thinking can be very seductive. You can dream, fantasize, create all sorts of wild and wonderful scenarios. A lot of my thinking had no relation to reality or-according to Cherry-to what I perceived as reality. But I found it pleasurable. It was still a new world for me, and I never ceased to wonder at the depths of thought. I hadn't yet gotten to the bottom.
Now I spent at least a half hour thinking about Tania's request for a hundred dollars and envisioning a dozen different plots that might account for it. You may say I was wasting time, but I didn't think so.
I believed there was a crisis of sorts in that kid's, life, and my actions might help solve it or make it worse.
I'm not such a heavy thinker that I don't recognize my own limitations, after all, I came to the habit of reasoning late in life. So I phoned Dr. Noble, hoping for reassurance that I was acting sensibly.
She was home, and after some small talk I told her about Tania's call, her request for money, and the Saturday luncheon I planned so I could have a heart-to heart with the kid.
"What do you think, Cherry?" I asked.
"She's how old?"
"Chas, I don't like the sound of it. It could be something completely innocent, but I doubt it. I don't know how eight-year-olds feel about money these days, but when I was that age a hundred dollars seemed to me an unimaginable fortune. I think the child may have a serious problem."
"That's my reaction."
"But I'm not sure you should have promised to give her the money. You did promise, didn't you?"
"Yes, but I figured it was the only way I could get her to come to lunch. If I had said to her, Let's talk about it,' I think she would take that as a rejection and drop me. Listen, Tania is no dummy, she's not going to tell me in advance why she wants the money because she's afraid if she tells me I won't give it to her."
"You're probably right. I'd like to know what it's all about, Chas. I hope you'll tell me."
"I will. I'll phone you after I talk to her."
"Can't I come out and visit you? You can tell me then.
I hesitated longer than I should have. "All right, Cherry."
"See you then," she said lightly.
We hung up, and I went back to thinking. I told you it was addictive.
But this time I wasn't thinking about Tania's problem, the subject, as usual, was my problem and the solution so kindly offered by Dr. Cherry Noble. I don't mean to put her down with a smartass remark like that.
Believe me, I had nothing but gratitude and admiration for that brainy lady.
But she wanted something from me I wasn't ready to give. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I told you that when I was young and had a whole body, I was a pretty fair swimmer.
But I never had the nerve to go off the high board.
LAURAGUNTHER obby Gurk was the biggest man I've ever known-and I've known a mob. He said he weighed two-fifty, but I figured he was closer to two-eighty, maybe more. It wasn't all fat, he was just a tall, wide, humongous man. I'm no petite but he made me feel like Mrs. Tom Thumb.