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While I’m back here, away from Samantha, I take a moment to try and process what happened out there. Not once, but three times now I’ve seen that blue box appear now. I’m no expert, but that makes it more than a hallucination. I try to summon the blue box by calling out, “Blue Box, appear!” and “I summon thee, Blue Box!” and “Shazam Blue Box!” However, nothing happens. Then I try to recall the circumstances when it’s appeared. The first time, it happened was when I was talking to Mr. Smith, and it said something about a reputation increase.

The second time I saw the blue box, I was looking for something, and it said that I learned the ‘Search’ skill.  The third time, I was trying to get a better look and figure out what was in Samantha’s eyebrow and the blue screen just gave me a bunch of information. Wait! It also said something about an ‘Inspect’ skill. Maybe I need to try and inspect something.

I turn around and grab a bag of chips and intently examine it.

Torittos - Spicy Cheese flavor

A bag of flavored tortilla chips. All they do is fry some cut up tortillas and sprinkle some flavoring on it. Don’t get too excited, ok? This kind has a spicy cheese flavor.

That’s it. I did it. I stare at the blue box that has appeared next to the bag of Torittos chips in my hand. I tap the box and find that it feels like I’m touching a thin piece of rigid cardboard. Also, I can move the thing around. However, as I’m moving the box around, I feel the top right corner. A red X appears, and the box disappears. Oh, so it’s like a browser window. I put the bag of chips back, look around for something else to inspect, and grab a large candy bar. I’m rewarded with another blue box as I focus my attention on it.

Big Daddy Premium Candy Bar

A chocolate-covered fluffy whipped chocolate bar. That’s right, a creamy filling covered in a thick layer of rich mouth-watering dark chocolate. Don’t try to swallow it all at once or you might choke. Honest, it happened to a lady in New Zealand.

Well, besides suddenly looking at the candy bar in my hand differently, I’m glad to see that I can control these blue boxes. I want to see just how similar these boxes are to a browser window. I try to touch different parts of the box, but only the right top corner does anything. I try to flick it, but my finger just passes through it, feeling like it’s passing through smoke. I try to punch the box, with similar results. My fist just passes through it. There must be some force threshold that changes the physical properties of the box. A light touch lets me move or dismiss the box. But anything more and I pass right through it. It makes sense. Otherwise, I could build a wall out of these boxes or throw them around like ninja stars.

I’m curious to see if I can talk to the box. I mean, someone or something has to write that descriptive text, right? So, I lean in toward the blue box and whisper, “Hello. Can you hear me? Is anyone there?”

I don’t get a response, so I raise my voice, “Hello! Is anyone there?”

I hear a sound to my left and spin to find Samantha staring at me, the storage room door open behind her. “Who are you talking to, dude?”

“Uh, no one. I was just goofing around.” I take the Big Daddy chocolate bar in my hand and pretend to use it as a microphone as I sing, poorly, Is Anybody Out There. The good version by K'naan and Nelly Furtado, not the remake by Odious and the Gang.

Samantha just shakes her head at me. “Man, you’re weird.”

I stop my singing act and say, “Yeah. I am. Was there a reason you came back here?”

She smirks. “Yeah, you took so long getting that new box of condoms I thought you might be testing them out back here or something. I was going to take pictures and sell them on the internet.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, no free shows tonight. Guess you’ll have to save up to buy this month's hair dye supply some other way. Though, I do like this week's color choice.”

Samantha perks up at the compliment. She pulls a strand of hair down in front of her face. “Yeah? It’s called Smurf Blue. I think it looks pretty good too. I’m thinking of dying my hair Garfield Orange next week.”

Ok. I’m not that interested in Samantha’s hair color choices, but there’s no reason to ruin things when she’s actually acting nice for once. I smile and shrug. “Whatever makes you happy, Samantha.”

She turns around and leaves the storage room, undoubtedly thinking of the next color she wants to dye her hair. I never could understand why women dye their hair. At least Samantha chooses fun colors though. Regardless, I need to be more careful with these experiments. I don’t want to get caught messing or talking with these boxes no one else can see. People will think I’m crazy. I grab the replacement box of condoms and exit the storeroom.

Chapter 9

Back behind the front counter, replacing the box of condoms gives me an idea. If there’s an Inspect level one, that implies that there is also an Inspect level two. So, I decide to leave Samantha to man the register while I take inventory of what’s in the store. The process will take a few hours, but it’ll give me a chance to inspect everything in stock.

I start at the front of the store with all the restricted items: tobacco products, cigarettes, hard liquor, condoms, etc. Then I move onto the rest; I inventory and inspect all the drinks, then the snacks, then our small selection of prepared meals. Afterwards, I inspect household goods. Each item I inspect gets me a blue box with a description. My favorite inspections are:

Brown Bear Beer

The cheapest booze on the market. When you're on a budget but you still need to get as drunk as a bear on hallucinogenic honey.

 

Old Man of the Mountains Beef Jerky

Oh my, do you think there’s actually beef in this?

 

Blue Box Mac and Cheese

You realize mac and cheese is a three-ingredient meal? Milk, cheese, and macaroni noodles.

Unfortunately, even after completing an inventory for the entire store and inspecting everything, I don’t get a message about getting Inspect level 2. However, I do get Inventory Management level 1, which just sort of makes me sad. I don’t know why, but I thought these skills were like superpowers. If there are also ones for regular tasks, it makes it feel less special. At least it does until I start to wonder what the skill, Inventory Management does.

Inventory Management

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Woah. You can count stuff and see if you need to buy more stuff. That’s a useful skill. Inventory Management allows you to do this job faster and more efficiently. At high levels, you’ll be able to take inventory at a glance. Sure, you could buy a robot to do this, but instead, you’re doing it old school.

Bonus: You’re able to count items to inventory 25% faster and you’re better at organizing them. 

I stop mid-stride as the blue box appears and I read it. Well, that’s new. I didn’t know I could learn about what a skill does or this bonus thing. I try to repeat how I got the information for Inventory Management by wondering what Inspect does.

Inspect

Level 1

 

What, you want to know more about something? Then this is the skill for you. One of the most basic skills the System provides. It’s also one of the most useful. Inspect contains information about an object, person, or thing. The User has to both be looking at something and intentionally seeking more information about it for the skill to activate. At early levels, the Inspect reveals essential information. At higher levels, it will give detailed information such as material composition, social implications, and may even show hidden knowledge about the object or person.