“Spring’s so far away,” she whispered so only the child could hear.
“We’ll just have to wait and see.” Petula sniffed again.
“Now, why don’t you go see if Brina’s okay. Tell her I didn’t mean to hurt her by keeping it a secret. I just .. . I just didn’t think.”
Petula slid from her chair and started to walk away, then turned suddenly back and gave Rachel a hug with her good arm.
“I don’t want you to go either, Miss Harris.” Then she ran for the bedroom as her sister had done moments before. Rachel drew a deep breath as she rose to her feet.
“Seems I made a mess of things,” she said as she turned toward Patrick. There was a perplexed expression on his face. His eyes watched her intently.
“You should have told them.”
“I know.” She sighed, feeling drained of energy. He came toward her.
“Why didn’t you, lass?” She shrugged.
“After Pet was hurt…”
“But you did tell Gavin?” Something about his tone of voice surprised her. There was a hard edge to it. She’d never heard Patrick sound that way before, especially not with her. He always seemed so bright and jovial. Even with his immense size, he’d never seemed threatening. Yet, there was something about him now that sent a thrill of alarm up the length of her spine. His hands closed around her arms and he drew her toward him.
“I love you, Rachel Harris, and there’s no mistakin’ that I do. It’s proud I am that you’ve consented to be my wife. I’d have everyone in the territory knowin’ it too.” With quiet resignation, she accepted his kiss, while inside a storm of despair began to brew.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Gavin hadn’t seen Jess, but he’d seen signs of him. Enough to let him know the young cowboy was okay. By the looks of the tracks he’d found south of here three days ago, Jess had rounded up a good portion of the herd and was heading them toward the hillsides where the wind had blown snow off the grass. Gavin knew he should probably be headed back to the house—he’d already been gone a couple more days than he said he would be—but he just wasn’t ready yet. He needed this time alone to mull things over, sort things out. He kept feeling that he was right on the verge of some important discovery, but it always seemed to slip away before he could grab hold and see what it was. He turned Scamp’s head and rode toward the line shack. He and Charlie and the men had put up four such shelters after settling in this river valley. In comparison with the mammoth ranches he’d seen in Wyoming and Montana, the Lucky Strike wasn’t large, but it still covered more acres than could be effectively managed from the ranch compound. The cowboys used the line shacks for temporary shelter while trying to keep the cattle from starving and freezing to death in the winter or from wandering away during the rest of the year. This line shack was at the north end of the Lucky Strike range, far from the main ranch house, far from just about anything but the wind and the snow and the trees. He supposed he’d chosen it for its remoteness. He heard the barking of the wolfhounds from some distance away. He knew the animals well enough to recognize that they were at play rather than sounding an alarm. If they’d found the carcass of a cow or sniffed out a predator, it would have been a different cry he heard. He let out a sharp whistle. Before long, he saw the two dogs barreling across the white terrain.
“You two hungry?” he shouted at them as they bounded through the snowdrifts and yipped in delight. He dismounted in front of the shack and, after unsaddling Scamp, turned the horse into the corral. Then he entered the building, the two dogs dashing inside before him. This particular line shack was built up against a mountain, the backside of it dug into the south slope. The back wall and part of each of the two side walls were formed by earth. The remainder was made of logs chinked with mud. Inside there was a cot, a table, and one chair, plus a small stove for cooking and heating. Gavin didn’t bother to remove his coat right away. It would be a while before the fire took the chill off the room. It never would be warm, no matter how hot the fire, but it was better than outdoors and for that he could be thankful. He was stirring up his supper in a pan when she popped into his thoughts. He wasn’t surprised by it. It happened all the time. It seemed there wasn’t any escape from Rachel. Where she couldn’t be, her memory was. He sat down in the chair.
“Wish I could figure her out.” Duke’s tail thumped against the dirt floor. Gavin raked the fingers of his left hand through the hound’s shaggy hair.
“I couldn’t ever give her what she wants.” Duchess whimpered and lifted her head to look at him.
“Hell, it doesn’t matter anyway. She’s made her choice.” Patrick was at the Lucky Strike when Stubs announced that he thought he’d better check on Gavin and Jess. They’d seen neither hide nor hair of the two, and Gavin was several days later returning than he’d said he would be.
“Nothin’ to worry ‘bout,” Stubs told Rachel.
“Just like to keep track of where everybody is this time of year. I’ll be back by nightfall, so you needn’t worry about that.”
“Sure but I think I’ll go with you, Stubs, if you wouldn’t mind the company.”
“Glad t’have you. I’ll saddle you up a horse.” It was Patrick’s voluntary offer that caused Rachel the most alarm. Gavin had told her not to worry if he didn’t return by Sunday. It hadn’t been easy, but for the most part, she’d been able to follow his directive. She’d kept herself occupied with baking and cleaning when not busy teaching the children or entertaining Patrick, who came over daily in his sleigh.
“Patrick,” she said softly so the children wouldn’t hear, “do you think something’s wrong?”
“No, lass. I feel more a need to get out from under your feet while you teach the wee ones here. You’ve been patient with me. It will do me good to sit a horse for an afternoon. I’m getting’ soft in that sleigh.” Rachel wasn’t convinced. Stubs wouldn’t go out looking for Gavin if he didn’t think something could be wrong. And Patrick wouldn’t volunteer to accompany Stubs if he didn’t think so too. She absently turned her cheek for Patrick’s kiss, then followed him to the door where she stood, shivering from the cold, and watched the two men
ride away . As she closed the door, she inhaled deeply, reminding herself she couldn’t go falling to pieces in front of the girls. They would sense her anxiety and make themselves sick with worry. It had taken several days to smooth things over after they learned of her engagement to Patrick.
She didn’t need them upset again.
“Well,” she said as she turned around, “it’s time for our math lessons. Brina, get the slates, please.” It made no sense at all, but she felt that Gavin’s absence was her fault. He’d wanted to get away from her. That was why he’d left. Not because he wanted to check on Jess but because he wanted to avoid her. So what did that mean? Did it mean he might care for her after all?
“Miss Harris?” Then louder.
“Miss Harris?” She shook her head, as if to clear it of confusion.
“What lesson, Miss Harris?” Sabrina asked. She picked up the book.
“Let me see. Where did we leave off yesterday?” Later she would give it some more thought. It was around two in the afternoon when Jess Chamberlain rode into the yard. After several weeks out on the line, he looked ragged and weary. Confronted in the barn by an anxious Rachel, he was unable to offer any information regarding Gavin’s whereabouts.
“Didn’t see him when I come up from the south range. Come past all three of the line shacks that’re down that way. Reckon he might be up at Lone Pine Gulch. Gotta line shack up there. Though why he’d take himself up that away, I can’t say. Most of the cows winter south of here.”
“Thank you, Mr. Chamberlain.” She started out of the barn, then stopped and glanced over her shoulder.