Patrick. She’d shown her willingness to share Gavin’s bed, even while choosing to marry another man. She would have to leave the Lucky Strike. He would have to make her leave at once. At first light. Today. His arms tightened around her. It was going to hurt to make her go.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
She stretched languidly, reluctant to awaken. She knew it was still early, too early to be up when she would much prefer to linger in bed and remember the loving she’d found in Gavin’s arms. It had been a thousand times more than anything she might have expected. She would tell him she loved him. Of course, he would know that already after last night. He would have to understand. And he would tell her he loved her too. Nothing stood between them any longer. Not Dru. Not Patrick. They would wait an appropriate length of time before marrying, but then nothing would ever keep them apart again. She opened her eyes to find him standing beside the bed. He was fully dressed. She felt herself flush as he stared down at her, remembering the way he’d gazed at her naked body during the night.
“Good morning,” she said and smiled.
“You’d better get dressed. I don’t want the girls finding you here.” Her eyes widened at the anger she heard in his voice.
“I want you to pack your things and leave. Stubs will take you to the O’Donnell place. At least, that’s where I imagine you want to stay until your wedding.”
“My wedding?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the unfortunate Mr. O’Donnell so quickly. You remember Patrick. Your wealthy fiance.” She sat up, holding the blankets against her breasts.
“Gavin, you don’t think… About last night.”
“I don’t give a damn about last night, Miss Harris. I just want you off the Lucky Strike as fast as you can get your things packed.” He spun on his heel and marched toward the door. He turned for one more glance in her direction, the set of his face hard and unrelenting.
“After breakfast, I’ll take the girls out with me. I don’t want them to know you’re leaving. I’ll tell them something after you’re gone. Stubs will take you to Killarney Hall.”
“Please, Gavin,” she whispered, her throat thick with tears.
“You must let me explain.”
“Nothing you could say would make any difference to me.” With that, he left the bedroom, closing the door snugly behind him. She was too stunned to move at first.
But I love you, Gavin. Nothing she could say would make any difference to him. I don’t want to marry Patrick. He just wanted her off the Lucky Strike. But I love you. Numbly, she found her nightclothes. She slipped the nightgown over her head, remembering with burning clarity the way it had felt as he’d removed it the night before. She pushed away the pain the memory stirred as she pulled on her robe and walked across the room. She listened at the door, then opened it, thankful to find the sitting room empty. She pushed her tangled hair back from her face. Her fingers touched her lips where just hours before he had kissed her so lovingly. A tiny moan tore free of her throat. She gripped the door jamb as a dizzy weakness shook her to the core. She dragged in a breath of air to help steady herself. Get dressed. You must get dressed. If she concentrated on what she had to get done, if she didn’t allow her thoughts to stray to Gavin or the night in his arms, she would be all right. Get dressed. She released her hold on the door jamb and forced one foot to move in front of another. Step by agonizing step, she crossed the main room. She eased open the door to the children’s room. Her gaze went first to Petula’s bed. The child’s covers were tangled into a heap. Except for a glimpse of brown curls, it would have been impossible to tell if she was in the bed. She turned toward the cot against the wall. Sabrina was lying on her back, her mouth slightly parted, one arm thrown over her eyes. Her covers, in contrast with her sister’s, were barely rumpled. Rachel blinked back the tears that stung her eyes. She would miss them. She loved these girls more than she could have believed possible. For over three months, they had been her primary concern. She had played with them, laughed with them, cried with them. She had washed their clothes and cooked their meals. She had watched them struggle with their school work and beamed with pride at their accomplishments. She couldn’t have loved them more had they been her own. And now they were lost to her forever. She choked down the sob that threatened to escape her chest. With head hanging, she moved silently toward her corner of the room. She dressed hastily, trying not to make any sound to awaken them. The longer they slept, the longer she could remain. It would make no difference, of course. A few minutes. A few hours. It would never be long enough. She would still have to leave today. Oh, Gavin. You don’t understand. I thought… I thought you wanted me because you loved me. I thought you would know I love you too. Perhaps he did know, she thought as she pulled a brush through her hair. Perhaps he knew she loved him and just didn’t care. She didn’t want to believe it could be true, but perhaps it was. With a heavy heart, she returned to the kitchen to make breakfast for the children. The last breakfast she would ever make for them. The next few hours would be filled with things she would be doing for the last time within these walls, with this beloved family. She wondered if she had the strength to survive the hours to come. Gavin didn’t give Stubs a chance to ask any questions. He just told him to help Miss Harris load up her things as soon as Gavin left with the children and take her to the O’Donnell place. They set out—Gavin, the girls, Duke and Duchess—well before noon, while the air still held its nighttime chill and their breath turned to frosty clouds in front of their faces. Gavin carried Petula with him on Scamp. Sabrina rode Princess, two pairs of ice skates tossed across the mare’s rump behind the saddle.
The horses plodded along, plowing through occasional snowdrifts, while the dogs raced ahead, then came back to see what was keeping horses and riders so long. The skating pond was frozen solid, as Gavin had known it would be. The wind had swept most of the snow from the crystal-smooth surface, and it didn’t take him long to finish the task, using a broken tree limb from a nearby pine tree.
Petula shivered inside her coat.
“Why couldn’t Miss Harris come with us?”
“She’s busy,” Gavin answered without looking at her.
“What am I gonna do while you skate? I’m cold.”
“I told you. I’ll carry you.” Gavin leaned over to strap on the blades.
“What if you fall? It’ll hurt my arm.”
“For cryin’ out loud, Pet! I’m not going to fall.” Great teardrops clung to her lower lashes as she stared at him with wide brown eyes. Her lips were pressed tightly together and her chin quivered. Gavin sighed.
“I’m sorry, Pet. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just thought it would be fun to get out of the house. We haven’t done anything together for a long time. I thought you’d like to come skating. I promise to be real careful so you won’t get hurt. I’m a good skater, remember?” Petula sniffed and dashed away her tears as she nodded.
“But I still don’t see why Miss Harris couldn’t’ve come,” she added in a whisper. Rachel turned slowly, her eyes moving over the airy main room of the ranch house. There wasn’t anything fancy about it. The furnishings were plain and simple and sparse, but they were also solid and built to last. Dru had made the rag rugs that covered the wood floors and the pillows that rested against the backs of the chairs.
Gavin’s own hands had fashioned the large table and the sideboards. Rachel was leaving a few of her own touches. She’d made the curtains hanging in the children’s bedroom, and the dried flower arrangement on the table was hers too. She wondered if Gavin wanted them out of his sight along with her. She decided to leave them. Perhaps, in time, he wouldn’t think so badly of her and would be glad to have them. Or perhaps he didn’t even know she’d made them. Joker brushed his head beneath her hand. She looked down at the scruffy-looking animal.