“You don’t know how relieved I am to see you looking strong again.”
“I’m just glad no one else got sick.” Rachel shook her head slowly.
“I never would have forgiven myself if I’d given it to the children.” Maggie squeezed the fingers within hers and leaned forward, her voice lowering.
“I think it’s time you told me what happened.”
“You sound like Fiona.” Rachel sighed as she looked away.
“But I’m not Fiona. I’m Maggie.” Rachel continued to avoid meeting her gaze.
“All right. Let me tell you what I do know.” Maggie released Rachel’s hand as she sat back in the chair, folding her arms in front of her.
“You are in love with Mr. Blake. No, don’t try to deny it. I already know it’s true. What’s more, I suspect that you’ve spent at least one night in Mr. Blake’s bed.” Color flamed in Rachel’s cheeks.
“I thought as much.” Maggie wore her most determined mothering glare.
“Now talk to me.” Such a melancholy look covered Rachel’s face that it made Maggie want to cry. At the very least, she wanted to hold and comfort her younger sister. But she kept her resolve to be firm and
waited for Rachel to tell her what had happened in the months she’d been away.
“I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. I can’t think why it happened. He wasn’t even very nice to me at first. He thought I was just some silly rich girl who wouldn’t be able to handle the work. But I proved him wrong.” A sad smile lifted the corners of her mouth, then disappeared as quickly as it had come.
“I tried to leave when I realized what I was feeling. I knew it was wrong. He was Dru’s husband, and she was my friend. But Dru wouldn’t let me go. She held me to my promise to stay until they took the cows back to the basin in the spring.” Rachel’s blue eyes took on a faraway look.
“Maggie, you should see the basin. The mountains take your breath away. And it’s so green with pine trees, and the aspen and birch trees and the wild flowers are all so beautiful. You can’t imagine it. You just can’t.” Rachel’s hands, folded atop the quilt, were clenched so tightly her knuckles turned white. She lifted her gaze to meet Maggie’s, and her eyes were glimmering with unshed tears.
“Oh, Maggie,” she whispered.
“I should have come home then. I knew I loved him, and I knew it was wrong. I should have come home.” Maggie’s resolve nearly faltered. She wanted so badly to scoot onto the bed beside Rachel and offer comfort.
“He kissed me the night before Dru died. He came to tell me he was sorry for being short-tempered with me, and then I was suddenly in his arms. It was as much my fault as his.” She sighed.
“I think we both felt that if we hadn’t done it, Dru might have lived. Of course, I know that wasn’t true. Dru hadn’t been well for so long. But I guess what you feel doesn’t always make sense. It’s just what you feel.” She choked back a sob.
“But, oh Maggie, I loved him so very much.” Rachel turned away from her older sister and slipped out of bed. On bare feet, she padded across to the window. She swept back the curtains with one hand to look outside.
“And you don’t love him any longer?” Maggie gently prodded. She didn’t turn away from the window.
“I don’t know. No. No, I don’t think I do anymore. I couldn’t.”
“If you loved Gavin so much, why did you agree to marry Mr. O’Donnell?” Maggie thought she already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from Rachel. She wanted to make sure she understood everything before she tried to help her sister.
“Because I thought he would protect me from doing anything else wrong. I felt so guilty for loving Gavin. And I felt guilty because I knew he wasn’t married any longer. He was a widower. There wasn’t anything wrong with my loving a widower, but it was almost like being glad Dru had died.” Her voice fell to a whisper.
“But I wasn’t glad. God knows, I wasn’t glad. I loved her, too.” Rachel let the curtain fall back into place.
“Patrick was so good to me after the funeral. Gavin pulled away from everyone, and I was left alone to care for the children. Patrick was just always there. He was good and kind and I knew he loved me and so I said yes when he proposed. And that wasn’t fair to him either. I made such a mess of everything.” Maggie patted the quilt.
“Get back in bed, Rachel, before you take cold.” She wondered if she’d made a mistake to ask about Gavin so soon. Rachel nodded absently but didn’t move from the window.
“I thought Gavin loved me, at least a little, even though he couldn’t say it. When Stubs told me what had happened back in Ohio, I understood better why he acted the way he did. I realized then that I couldn’t marry Patrick, no matter what happened with Gavin. And Patrick understood. I guess he knew I was in love with Gavin all along.” Finally, Rachel drifted back to the bed. She crawled beneath the covers and pulled them up close beneath her chin. Her face looked pale, and the shadows of illness beneath her eyes seemed more pronounced.
“It was my fault,” she continued in a whisper.
“I waited for him and when he kissed me and asked me… I wanted him, Maggie. I didn’t try to stop him. I loved him, and I thought… I thought he must love me.” A lengthy silence stretched between them. Maggie watched as a series of emotions passed across Rachel’s face, heartbreaking emotions, nothing held back to hide the pain.
“He told me to get out the next morning. He said he wanted me off the Lucky Strike. He wouldn’t even let me say good-bye to the children.” This time, Maggie followed the urge to hold and comfort Rachel. She pressed her sister’s face against her shoulder and let her cry out the hurt. In the meantime, she indulged herself in her own orgy of loathing. How could that man have done this to her sister? How could he have been so cruel? She would take great pleasure in seeing him whipped within an inch of his life. Boiling in oil would be too good for him. She would gladly pluck the chickens to be used to tar and feather the no-good blackguard. He was undoubtedly the most despicable man she would ever have the misfortune to meet. She should have known it when she first laid eyes on him. She never should have allowed Rachel to go away with him. Thank heaven she wouldn’t ever have to see him again. But, of course, Maggie knew that he couldn’t be as bad as all that, especially since Rachel still cared more than she would admit. Her sister could deny it all she wished, but she was definitely still in love with Gavin Blake. And Rachel wasn’t some silly-headed nitwit who wore her emotions on her sleeve or whose head was turned by any handsome man to come down the pike. Rachel was not the sort of girl to fall in love without the man being worthy in some way. There was more than one side to this story, and Maggie knew it wouldn’t be complete until she’d heard Gavin’s side too. As Maggie smoothed the silky blond hair back from Rachel’s face, she had the feeling that she would have her chance to find out the other side of the story soon enough. Perhaps it was only wishful thinking, but something told her
that she would be seeing Gavin Blake before long. She prayed she was right.
Chapter Thirty-Three
It wasn’t difficult to find out where the Branigan ranch was located. Everyone in Boise seemed to know the judge and his family and were more than happy to give him directions. Once on his way, it hadn’t taken him long to get there. Gavin pulled Scamp to a halt at the end of the winding drive that led to the Branigan home. It was a sprawling gray clapboard house, built for a large family, two stories tall with a veranda wrapped around three sides. Just the kind of place Gavin could imagine Rachel growing up. The log house at the Lucky Strike paled in comparison. He felt the familiar surge of doubt. He nudged the black gelding with his heels, and they moved forward. He wasn’t about to turn back now.
He dismounted near the front door and twirled the reins around the hitching post before taking the steps two at a time. He paused on the porch, removing his hat and smoothing back his hair. He’d taken the time to clean up in town, paying for a bath and a shave, but he feared that no matter what he did he wasn’t going to be welcome. Taking a deep breath, he knocked at the door and waited. There was a slight commotion from the other side of the door before it was yanked open. Two boys, approximately the same ages as Sabrina and Petula, looked up at him.