“I can’t,” I said. “And if you knew why, you wouldn’t want me to.”
“Oh,” said the Armourer, nodding wisely. “One of those cases, eh? But, Eddie, how were they able to get to the Regent? Do you know?”
“Grandfather left me a final message,” I said. “It seems there was a traitor inside the Department, who lowered all the shields and let the enemy in. He didn’t know who. They were there for the Lazarus Stone. But I have reason to believe the Regent didn’t have it.”
“Of course not,” said the Armourer. “He gave it to James, long ago.”
“What?” I said.
The Armourer winced. “Please stop doing that, Eddie. It goes right through me. Now, where was I . . . Oh yes. You have to remember, Eddie, that while I was in touch with your grandfather on and off through the years, it all had to be very much under the radar. The family couldn’t know. For my safety, and yours, and your parents’. So a lot happened that I only heard about later, after the fact. The Regent gave the Lazarus Stone to your uncle James, because James asked him for it. And James . . . gave the Stone to the Lady Faire.”
“What?”
“Eddie, either you keep the volume down or I will plunge you into a bath of industrial-strength tranquiliser! We don’t want the rest of the family coming down here to see what’s going on. Do we?”
“But he gave it away? To the Lady Faire? Why would he do that?”
“Because there’s no fool like an old fool,” said the Armourer. “James had an affair with the Lady, perhaps because he was getting on and needed one more chance to play his legend. To be the illustrious Grey Fox . . . To prove to himself that he wasn’t getting old. Other people buy a Porsche . . . You do know who and what the Lady Faire is, Eddie?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “Just rumours. You do hear things, out in the field, whether you want to or not. Isn’t she supposed to be . . . well, the ultimate courtesan?”
“The Lady Faire is much more than that,” the Armourer said sternly. “The Lady Faire is a ladything. You know, like a ladyboy, only even more so. Oh, do try to keep up, Eddie-we’re both a bit old for me to be explaining the birds and bees to you. The Lady Faire is an omnisexual, the ultimate sexual object. All things to all people, and indeed, all people to all things . . .”
“I have no idea what that means,” I said.
“You’ve led a sheltered life, haven’t you, boy?” said the Armourer. “We used to get out a lot more, when I was a field agent. It was expected of us. You could learn a hell of a lot more through pillow talk than through burgling an office . . . Look, the Lady Faire is . . . Oh well, we might as well use the term . . . She’s not male or female, but a combination of both. A whole that is supposed to be far greater than the sum of its parts. If you’ll pardon the expression. She’s beautiful, bewitching, irresistible-the ultimate honey trap. You know, seduce them, wring all their secrets out of them, and then throw them to the wolves. The Lady Faire is every love and lover you ever dreamed of, especially the ones where you wake up screaming, in a cold sweat. One of the Baron Frankenstein’s more inventive creations, when he was getting old, and a bit kinky.”
“Did you ever meet her?” I said, fascinated despite myself.
“Just the once. Years ago, when I was working a case in Los Angeles with your uncle James. He introduced me to the Lady Faire at a Hollywood party. Every star and diva you can think of was there, but no one had eyes for anyone but the Lady Faire. I have to say, I was a bit creeped out by her, myself. Her magic doesn’t work on everyone, you know. There is such a thing as too sweet . . . But it was obvious to me even then that James was smitten with her. So, years later, he decides he’s in love with her, and gives her the Lazarus Stone. Because she said she needed it to get her out of a bind. Don’t ask me what that was all about. James never told me. I’m not even sure he got all the details from the Lady Faire . . .
“Of course, the family never knew anything of this. They would not have approved. They’ve made a hell of a lot of allowances for James, down the years, because he was the Grey Fox, the greatest field agent we ever had. But an affair with the Lady Faire? That would definitely have been a step too far. Anyway, according to what James finally told me, the Stone was only supposed to be on loan. A temporary gift. But, love is blind . . . James never saw the Lazarus Stone again.
“And then he died . . . After that, I had too many other things to worry about, and I just forgot about the Stone. Until you reminded me. To the best of my knowledge the Lady Faire still has it. Far as I know, she’s never used it. Though, of course, how could I be sure? How could anyone?”
“Does anyone else know she has the Stone?”
“I don’t see how. But information has a way of getting out.”
“I have to get hold of the Lazarus Stone,” I said. “And no, I can’t tell you why. Are you positive the Lady still has it?”
“Oh yes,” said the Armourer. “I’d definitely have heard if it had turned up with someone else. The family does like to keep a close eye on all the Major Players. Though it has to be said, the Lady Faire is semi-retired these days. Keeps people off her back by threatening to publish her memoirs. In fact . . . she’s just sent out the invitations to her annual Ball, a get-together for all her lovers and friends. Past, present, and future. No address given, no date or time; you either know where and how to find her, or you don’t deserve to get in. And at the moment the family doesn’t know.”
“How can we not know?” I said. “Given that we keep such a close eye on all the Major Players?”
“I think the family prefers to keep its distance,” said the Armourer. “As long as she stays semi-retired, we don’t care where she is. And she never was as important, or significant, as her legend liked to make out. But it does mean you’ll have to locate the venue for the Ball yourself, Eddie. And you can’t go after her as a Drood. We can’t be seen to be openly connected with her.”
“Even though I’m currently a rogue and a mass murderer?”
“Perhaps especially because of that.”
“All right,” I said. “I can’t involve the Droods in what I’m doing anyway. I’ll just have to do this as Shaman Bond.”
I stopped, and looked at him thoughtfully.
“While I’m here . . . I need to talk to you about the Merlin Glass. It’s started . . . doing things. Acting independently . . .”
“Ah,” said the Armourer, “I was afraid of that.”
“You were? Then why didn’t you warn me!”
“I did,” said the Armourer. “Never trust a gift from Merlin Satanspawn. The clue is in the name, after all . . . I believe there is some kind of living thing, trapped or perhaps lurking, inside the Glass. Sometimes you can just catch a glimpse of it moving, somewhere in the background of your reflection. I wonder whether it might be some last trace of Merlin himself, trying for a comeback . . .
“And of course, what you have now is a combination of the original broken Glass and the duplicate Glass you found in the Other Hall. Merged together in a way I fully admit I don’t understand at all. God alone knows what the Other Merlin might have hidden in his Glass.”
He sighed heavily, seeming suddenly that much older, and tireder.
“This is why I wanted you to give the Merlin Glass back. So I could run some exhaustive tests on it. I don’t think it’s safe to handle any more. If it ever was.”
“You can have it back,” I said. “After I’ve finished this mission.”