She won’t.
Chapter Twenty Three
Samantha
I open my eyes as the sunlight touches them. They still burn from all the tears I cried last night.
When Ryan told me it was my mother, I think I went into shock. I never imagined that she would be that evil. That she hated me that much. I had always hoped that I would eventually meet her standards and make her happy. That she might be proud of me. That she might love me. It never happened and it never will.
I almost screwed up the best thing I have and that’s my relationship with Hunter. I was going to run. In my mind, I wanted to get away before he realized I wasn’t worth loving like my mother did. Before he ended up hating me the way that she does. I know trying to lump him and my mother together is ridiculous but I wasn’t thinking straight. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and shattered into a million pieces.
Today, we are driving to LA and I am going to confront my mother. I want to know why. Ryan is going to submit the evidence and dispatch the police to her house. Hunter is coming with me because I know that I’ll need the support. I have never been one to stand up to my mother, although with the anger that I have in me, I don’t think that will be a problem.
“You ready, babe?” I look up at him and a tinge of fear runs through me. This whole situation has made me realize I finally lost my mother, for good. Now all I have left is Hunter, and all I can think about is the possibility of losing him too. Could I survive losing him? He used to be such a player. What if I can’t keep him interested? What if he gets bored of me? My insecurities are running wild. I try to push them back down but I can’t get rid of them.
“Yeah.” I stand up and walk out to the car, completely bypassing him. I know that he hasn’t done anything and punishing him for what I think he may end up doing is wrong, but I do it anyway. At this point, I know I’m being self-destructive but I make no move to stop myself.
Hunter gets into the car and looks over at me. “You okay?”
I nod my head, staring out the windshield. When he pulls out of the driveway, I turn on the radio, hoping that the music will distract him from any attempt at conversation. I don’t even listen to the music. My own thoughts are so jumbled, each fighting for my attention. My subconscious is in bitch mode and she is taunting me.
Your own mother couldn’t love you, why would he?
Maybe he was in on it too.
Maybe they all laughed at you about it.
You really think you can keep him?
You are unlovable.
Your daddy, mommy, no one wanted you.
Why would Hunter want you?
The only thing you have is money and you pay him well enough that he can quit soon.
Then you’ll be all alone.
No one will care.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my anxiety. When Hunter’s hand touches my bare leg, I jump. “Sam, we’re here. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” I get out of the car before he can ask me anything else. I look at the house in front of me. I have never been here and she bought it five years ago. No holidays. No birthdays. No girls’ nights. Nothing. It’s almost like the house is taunting me.
I climb the steps, feeling Hunter’s presence behind me. I knock on the door. When it opens, my mother stands in the doorway, every hair exactly in place as always. She seems to be the picture of perfection, like she always tried to make me into. I could never achieve it though.
“Samantha, what are you doing here? And with him.” She looks past me at Hunter, disgust prominently displayed in her expression.
“I need to talk to you.” I push past her, making my way into the house and finding the living room. I look around at all the nice things in the house. Nice things bought with my money. Anger replaces the insecurity that has been plaguing me the whole drive.
“I would tell you that what you just did was very rude. However, manners seem to be lost on you, so I won’t waste my breath. I have a nail appointment in a few minutes, so you will need to make whatever this is quick. If you wanted a meeting you really should have scheduled one.” She sits down, smoothing the wrinkles out of her skirt without a care in the world.
“Schedule a meeting? I’m your daughter! Does that really mean nothing to you? Do I mean that little to you?” I yell, losing any control I walked in here with.
She laughs at me. “Now don’t be dramatic. There is no need to raise your voice. You seem a little scattered, dear. Is it that time of the month, or did this leech manage to get you pregnant like I predicted? Either way, as I said, I have an appointment.”
She moves to stand up. “Don’t you dare fucking leave. I know, Mother. I know what you did.”
“Would you like to tell me why you’re here or do you want to keep playing games?” Irritation is prevalent on her face.
“I am here because I know that you are the stalker and that you hired Detective Marks to help you. It’s over, you’re caught.” I smile as I realize that she will be punished.
“Is that what has you all upset? Really dear, you should pick your battles. I did it for you, after all.” She smiles at me as if she gave me a present and is waiting for my appreciation.
“How was any of that for me? You had me scared out of my mind!” I think back to all of the times I felt like I was being watched. To the night I would wake up from a nightmare that they had caught me.
“You were not nearly as prominent in the media as you should have been, most of that was probably due to your lack of talent. I put you in the spotlight with this. You should be thanking me.” She smiles at me as if we are talking about something mundane like the weather.
Is she fucking crazy?! I run my hands through my hair in frustration. “I will never thank you for the hell you put me through. Not only that, but you were trying to have Marks frame Hunter!”
“Well, someone needed to take the fall, dear. Honestly, this is all your fault. If you would have been better at your craft and followed my direction, then you would be in a much better place than you are now.”
A tear slips down my cheek and I curse myself for letting it fall. For letting her see how much she is getting to me. “The police will be here soon. Have a nice life, Mother.” My voice is emotionless, all my anger is replaced by sadness. By the fact that she is so cold. That she really just doesn’t care about me. I walk past Hunter and out the door. I can hear their voices as I leave but I don’t care what is being said. I climb into the car, hating my life and what it has turned into.
When Hunter gets in the car, I can feel his eyes on me, almost as if he is assessing my state. “Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere but here.” It’s all I say.
I know that Ryan said he would have the police dispatched but I can’t stay here anymore and wait for them. I don’t want to be here for one more minute.
I have nothing left. I feel so gutted and so discarded. Holding out hope for someone to change is dangerous, because when they don’t, it hits you. I always thought I could eventually win my mother’s love.
I was wrong.
Chapter Twenty Four
Samantha
It’s been one week since I confronted my mother. The police showed up but she was gone. They haven’t found her yet, and I don’t know how that is possible. I mean, it’s not like she is some master criminal trained in evading the law.
This and my mental state of mind since everything happened has put an unbelievable strain on my relationship with Hunter. We fight…a lot. Most of the time they are over something stupid but it’s still a fight. I know that ninety percent of them are my fault, and the ones that aren’t stem from my bad mood, putting him in a bad mood too. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be like this, but it’s like I’m fighting a battle against myself and I’m losing. I haven’t really been answering messages from Jules or Lacey either. I’m pulling away from everyone who has any potential to hurt me.