“What’s wrong?”
He stood there for a second, shoulders moving up and down and then he faced me. “I’m… I’m gonna go out on a limb here.”
“Okay,” I said, not having a clue what he was talking about.
Tony stepped into the room, grabbed the pen from the table and moved it. He looked around.
“What are you doing?”
“Making sure there are no deadly objects around.”
“So you think I’m gonna kill you?”
“You may. If I am reading it wrong, you will. Just… you know me, I like to be prepared for the worst.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This.”
It was not what I expected. I was waiting for him to say something that I was going to disagree with, that was the wave length we had been on. Instead, Tony stepped to me, placed his hand on the side of my face and kissed me.
I think I responded, in fact I was pretty sure I responded. It was hard to say because I was not only surprised by the moment, but caught up in how it felt. Honestly, I must have lost the ability to fantasize, because I didn’t envision Tony and I ever crossing that line. I liked Tony, I liked him a lot, but I truly believed he saw me as a job.
But the way kissed me, told me I had been more than a client to him for a while.
With a gripping glide, he brought his hand up my arm until he cupped my face and then he pulled back from the kiss.
I stood there.
He closed one eye, probably debating on whether he should feel awkward. “I know… your dating history, and I know it has been six years, but that was a kiss.”
“Yes, it was.”
“Okay, so. No? Yes? What?”
“About?”
“The kiss.”
“Wow.”
“Is that a good wow, like ‘oh my God, not only is Tony hot, but he’s a master kisser’ type of wow?”
I laughed. “I mean wow. As in you really took me by surprise. I did not see that coming.”
“So I should forget I did that?”
“I hope not.”
The corner of his mouth raised in a smirk and then Tony smiled and stepped to me again. “Good.” He brought me closer, as if he were gonna kiss me again, but he didn’t. He wanted me close. And I don’t believe he and I were ever that close. “I figured we’d been dating for a while, might as well get that first kiss out of the way.”
“You make me smile, Tony, when I need it. I don’t think you know how much that means to me.”
“I do.” He kissed me again, only a smaller one, and softly.
“You know, if it took you two months for our first kiss, I’m curious how long it will take to get to second base.”
“Ha. And on that note.” He darted a quick kiss to me. “Goodnight.” He started to pull away, but stopped. “And just for the record, that is not why I kissed you. Just so you know.”
“I know.”
Tony stepped back. “This…” he moved his hand back and forth. “You and me being maybe a ‘you and me’ more than just the people who run this bunker, it means a lot. It does.”
“Then count on it.”
“Music to my ears.” He turned again.
“Can I ask something dumb?” I said. “Can I ask how long you wanted to do that?”
“Honestly?”
“Yes.”
He looked over his shoulder, then turned again. “Since the first day I met you.”
“Even though you labeled me fairly attractive?”
“I was being professional.” Tony winked. “Goodnight, Anna.” He leaned forward, kissed my cheek and headed back for the door.
I reached out and grabbed his hand. “Do you have to leave? I know you’re tired, and I understand.”
“I’m not tired,” he answered almost too quickly.
“Then, can you stay?”
“No.” he exhaled. “I cannot. Doing that, and leaving my daughter alone it another room, even for fifteen minutes, because let’s be realistic that’s pretty much the time frame, would make me a bad father.”
“Tony?”
“What?”
“Shut the door.”
He smiled, reached back, and he did.
35 – NIGHT VISION
August 18
My room as a mess. Tony became worse with making sure every exit was covered, at all times. He even started quizzing Tom and Peter on things on the monitors just to make sure they were paying attention.
In doing so, he was out on the floor, the bay and below a lot. My guilt over implying that he didn’t do a good job with his daughter, manifested with me taking over the role.
Being a sitter for Joie wasn’t a chore, it was what I needed. She was fun. I never had a daughter. She worked diligently on her pre-comet world poster. She cut pictures out perfectly, and pasted them on a huge piece of cardboard. I believed it would take her months to finish it. She worked at a slow pace and positioned things like a perfectionist.
Because Joie was an artist she reminded me of Jackson. She was so meticulous about her work, yet disorganized with everything else.
She worked on the little table in my room, and when she left in the morning or went to bed, she left it a mess.
Scissors, glue, pieces of paper everywhere. Every morning before I started my day, I cleaned up her mess so it was tidy and neat for her to begin working on again when she returned.
Tony came back and got her. Nelly was taking a field trip with the kids down to agriculture. They were going to collect eggs and get some sun.
Well, ultra violet light.
I was also guilty of that.
There was something pleasant about it, even with pecking chickens at my feet and that horrible smell. It was some variation of the sun. Something we hadn’t seen in weeks. If it hadn’t been for the fires burning, the world would have been dark long before it went black.
I thought about joining them on the field trip and then head up to monitoring to work with Peter on watching… nothing. Nothing but black. We continuously tried to use night vision, but it didn’t work.
Damnation Alley station turned out to be not a bad connection. The radio guys lightened up, at least when Peter and I called them.
Getting ready to leave, placing the final marker in the box, I noticed Joie had left her sweater.
I dressed her warmly, but it was cold in the bunker. There was nothing we could do about it, and Duke cautioned against pushing the boilers.
Craig said if we kept it at a cool temp and wore warm clothes we would be safe from hypothermia.
The nights were increasingly getting colder, and on the previous two evenings, I had stolen Joie and brought her into bed with me to cuddle and keep warm.
Tony looked at me strangely, even offering to help out there, but I said that wouldn’t be fair to Joie who needed the body heat. Plus, I didn’t want to deal with Joie asking why Daddy and Anna were in the same bed.
I already had to deal with, “Why did my father just kiss you?” comment, and that was over only a peck to the cheek.
I changed the subject with Joie.
Thinking of her made me think how cold she would be. She was so thin as it was. I couldn’t believe Tony forgot the sweater. It irritated me, but then again, I wouldn’t say anything to him. It would only fuel the ‘I’m a bad father’ comments which still popped up intermittently.
I also knew the reason Tony forgot it.
He was pretty excited.
He seemed less tense and smiled. “It’s D Day.”
Thinking he was getting excited about the prospect of trouble, I asked him to clarify.
“It’s the day where I believe, I will be proven wrong. And you know, what? I’m happy about that.”
It took a second and I finally understood what he meant. It was already a few degrees below zero with temperatures rapidly dropping. Peter predicted that by the end of the day, by the time we had dinner, it would be somewhere around thirty degrees below zero… if not more.